Why I shouldn't be a blue belt

[HighKick]

Exhibit BX
Rolling with another purple belt today. Some how I sprawled in such a way that my chest landed on his knee and I knocked the wind out of myself.

Been there.
When I wrestled in college we practice a takedown called the 'sprawl'. Done correctly, you could land with your knee up pulling them down chest into your bent knee.

 

[skribs164 184]

Exhibit BY
Professor asked me to explain to the kids that it's not right to shake your partner's arm out of their socket when they shake hands at the end of the round.

In demonstrating the wrong way to shake someone's hand, I hurt one of the other coaches.

 

[Simfers165 72]

Thus proving why it's the wrong way. A job well done, I say!

 

[drop bear2]

Exhibit BY
Professor asked me to explain to the kids that it's not right to shake your partner's arm out of their socket when they shake hands at the end of the round.

In demonstrating the wrong way to shake someone's hand, I hurt one of the other coaches.

I tuck my elbow in to my body whan I hand shake which supports the structure a lot better.

And also stops drunk people hugging me.

Side note. The thing we have is the zero resistance hand up off the ground.

So you help someone up. But give them no counter pressure to get up with. Basically making you get up on your own. But with only one hand.

 

[skribs164 184]

Exhibit BZ
Apparently I've been misreading the IBJJF rulebook this whole time. Did you know it's possible to score a single point in an IBJJF match?

My Professor and I both competed this weekend. My Mom watched my Professors match while I was waiting at the podium for my participation bronze medal. I asked my Mom how my Professor's match went. He won because, "He had 1 green point and the other person had 1 red point."

I asked the other coaches and my Professor what happened in his match. I said, "My Mom said it was 1 green point to 1 red point."

They all said, "Yup, that was the score."

Exhibit BA
My participation bronze medal.

 

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Exhibit CB
Was working with a trial class student today. Taught him how to go knee-on-belly. When his knee hit my belly, I accidentally spit on him.

 

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Exhibit CC
Walking into the bathroom to change after class, my gi sleeve got caught on the door handle.

 

[skribs164 184]

Not an exhibit, but another funny story.

I was rolling with a 4th degree black belt last week. He's letting me work and I'm still not getting anything done. Then he gets bored and effortlessly escapes mount. I just started laughing. He asked me "why you laughing?"

"Because you rolling with me, is the same as when I roll with a no-stripe white belt."

Yesterday I was rolling with a no-stripe white belt and hit an effortless butterfly sweep. Just caught her leg while she was trying to pass and she went flying. She just started laughing.

Yup, Professor rolling with me is exactly like me rolling with no-stripe white belts.

 

[skribs164 184]

Exhibit CD
I was rolling with my Professor. My fingers got trapped in his gi while he passed my guard. He asked if my fingers were stuck. I said yes. He let me take my fingers out of the gi. I said, "I would've tapped if I was in trouble."

Half a second later, he wristlocked me and I said, "tap".

 

[skribs164 184]

Exhibit CE
I was putting on my belt today, and the tip of my belt was wet. Couldn't figure out why. My backback was dry. The rest of my gi was dry.

Anyway, as a precaution, I'm not going to put on my belt in the bathroom anymore.

 

[drop bear2]

Exhibit CD
I was rolling with my Professor. My fingers got trapped in his gi while he passed my guard. He asked if my fingers were stuck. I said yes. He let me take my fingers out of the gi. I said, "I would've tapped if I was in trouble."

Half a second later, he wristlocked me and I said, "tap".

Yeah. This is a thing you want to get on to early.

Your fingers will just go snappity snap inside clothing.

 

[Wing Woo Gar99 2]

Yeah. This is a thing you want to get on to early.

Your fingers will just go snappity snap inside clothing.

Truth. Happened to me. Not fun.

 

[skribs164 184]

Just a funny one. I told one of the coaches at my gym that he should avoid the letter P when he's demonstrating a technique from mount, because he spits when he talks.

Next time he's demonstrating on me in mount? "You need to place your post here so you can put your pressure..."

 

[Wing Woo Gar99 2]

Just a funny one. I told one of the coaches at my gym that he should avoid the letter P when he's demonstrating a technique from mount, because he spits when he talks.

Next time he's demonstrating on me in mount? "You need to place your post here so you can put your pressure..."

Proper planning prevents piss poor performance…

 

[Wing Woo Gar99 2]

Just a funny one. I told one of the coaches at my gym that he should avoid the letter P when he's demonstrating a technique from mount, because he spits when he talks.

Next time he's demonstrating on me in mount? "You need to place your post here so you can put your pressure..."

I call that the 6 P postulate.

 

[skribs164 184]

I don't know whether to be flattered or insulted.

We've started a fundamentals class, mainly run by one of our brown belts, but I'm very heavily involved as well. Yesterday, he was showing different entries for a triangle choke. He wanted to do 4 variants, but really only had 3 in mind. After one of the entries, I told him, "I like doing a punch choke from this setup."

He said, "You can show the 4th technique. Do that one."

So at the end of the fundamentals class, I showed that technique.

Fast forward to the regular class, and I'm rolling with the brown belt. He hit me with the triangle punch choke. Then he laughed and said, "Hahaha, I hit you with your technique!"

 

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Exhibit CF
Rolling with a white belt, I tried to armbar him, but accidentally choked him instead.

 

[skribs164 184]

I got my 2nd stripe on my purple belt yesterday. What's funny is I've had the mat time for over a month, and every day I've been thinking, "Is today the day I get my stripe?" And it didn't happen.

Yesterday, my Professor gave me the same negative feedback I've been getting for the past 2-3 years. "Why do you keep going into the guard? Go around the guard!" In my defense, I'm trying to set up a knee cut. But probably the wrong pass for the situation. Anyway...

I thought to myself, I'm stilling messing that up. I probably need to fix that before I get my stripe. I'll start working on that. But no way I'm getting a stripe until I do.

Then I got my stripe. The one night I'm not thinking I'm ready.

 

[_Simon_165 195]

I got my 2nd stripe on my purple belt yesterday. What's funny is I've had the mat time for over a month, and every day I've been thinking, "Is today the day I get my stripe?" And it didn't happen.

Yesterday, my Professor gave me the same negative feedback I've been getting for the past 2-3 years. "Why do you keep going into the guard? Go around the guard!" In my defense, I'm trying to set up a knee cut. But probably the wrong pass for the situation. Anyway...

I thought to myself, I'm stilling messing that up. I probably need to fix that before I get my stripe. I'll start working on that. But no way I'm getting a stripe until I do.

Then I got my stripe. The one night I'm not thinking I'm ready.

Haha funny how that happens, congrats man, awesome!

 

[drop bear2]

I got my 2nd stripe on my purple belt yesterday. What's funny is I've had the mat time for over a month, and every day I've been thinking, "Is today the day I get my stripe?" And it didn't happen.

Yesterday, my Professor gave me the same negative feedback I've been getting for the past 2-3 years. "Why do you keep going into the guard? Go around the guard!" In my defense, I'm trying to set up a knee cut. But probably the wrong pass for the situation. Anyway...

I thought to myself, I'm stilling messing that up. I probably need to fix that before I get my stripe. I'll start working on that. But no way I'm getting a stripe until I do.

Then I got my stripe. The one night I'm not thinking I'm ready.

We had a guy come in to our gym. Called P.asha Stoyla. Phenomenal grappler.

And all he did was the three options from headquarters. Knee cut, knee slice? And passing both legs.

Smoked everyone.

So it can be done in a way that is basically unstoppable.