Why are Sifu's so stern???

[Ric Flair]

In regards to trusting and embracing some students, and shunning a few of the others???

Especially if the shunned are the students who have had bad past or dealings with the particular Sifu...

How can the "bad" student truly learn and improve if the Sifu and fellow students don't have any faith in him??? it is hard to train and get better when you have all the suspicious eyes and false teachings from your Sifu simply because he assumes you are still a bad person with bad intentions right??? Won't teach you the correct methods or real deal like the other students so in turn, you don't progress as much and anger builds up inside you towards the world that doesn't acknowledge your positive changes.

Whats worst is if you have an older brother for a senior who was given the opportunity to become good but yet, somehow plays politics to hold you down from getting to his level. What if this brother of yours keeps telling the Sifu how bad of a person you are??? What if your own brother gets in the way of your training via politics???


This must be the worst case scenario for any young Wing CHun artist, to be rejected and deceived by your own school???

 

[ed-swckf]

In regards to trusting and embracing some students, and shunning a few of the others???

Especially if the shunned are the students who have had bad past or dealings with the particular Sifu...

How can the "bad" student truly learn and improve if the Sifu and fellow students don't have any faith in him??? it is hard to train and get better when you have all the suspicious eyes and false teachings from your Sifu simply because he assumes you are still a bad person with bad intentions right??? Won't teach you the correct methods or real deal like the other students so in turn, you don't progress as much and anger builds up inside you towards the world that doesn't acknowledge your positive changes.

Whats worst is if you have an older brother for a senior who was given the opportunity to become good but yet, somehow plays politics to hold you down from getting to his level. What if this brother of yours keeps telling the Sifu how bad of a person you are??? What if your own brother gets in the way of your training via politics???


This must be the worst case scenario for any young Wing CHun artist, to be rejected and deceived by your own school???

I think the first thing to clarify here is the title of your thread, i know many sifu's who in no way fit your description, however your thread obviously pertains to some particular people.

It Certainly sounds like a very unfortunate situation and theres only few options. If trust isn't there and cannot be gained maybe the positive changes made thus far would need to continue into a new start with new teachers that aren't tainted in their view by past events.

As it stands there isn't enough information from all sides to really understand all angles, perhaps the brother and teacher feel they are doing the right thing, calm communication between all partys would be the direction for disolve. However, people standing in the way of ones positive growth does call for a departure from those people, the key is to be savvy enough to know when one is right or when one is wrong.

 

[Sarah]

If the brother is interferring with the training and spreading false information, it may be best for all concerned to go and train at a different school.

 

[Ric Flair]

If the brother is interferring with the training and spreading false information, it may be best for all concerned to go and train at a different school.

No, my Sifu is very well versed and very experienced. He is a head bouncer at a night club and has first hand knowledge. He is also a very good student and teacher of Sayoc Kali. I respect him dearly and am doing my best to be a good student but, it is hard with a senior brother (who is my blood brother also) trying to play politics and give me a bad name to my Sifu.

Also my brother has been chi sao'ing with me for the last while and giving me either bad advice or not correcting me at all. I finally had the opportunity to Chi Sao with fellow junior students at another school connected with my Sifu but, taught by one of his top students. Lets just say my fellow junior level students/friends had all the basics down pat and kept hitting my throat which was often open. This one guy kept doing a lap with one of my hands while using his other hand to hit my throat.

My brother kept allowing me to "find his openings" even though he is very good at Chi Sao and has used his stuff in real life. Yet, i try Chi Sao'ing with students who are junior to his level and kept getting hit!!! So all along my brother has been deceiving me and trying to hold me back from progressing. Infact the same very junior students i Chi Sao'd with kept commenting on how they sparred and Chi Sao'd with my bigger brother and how good he is!!! One guy even said "Man your brother --- is soooooooooo good he nearly broke my ankle while we did Chi Sao!!!" So how is it that my brother is able to have the upperhand in Chi Sao with the same junior students who in turn had the upperhand over ME in Chi Sao???

I found out later from one of the juniors that my brother taught all the correct forms/hand positions/applications to other juniors, while he didn't show me anything. Also my brother has done something to my left shoulder while we Chi Sao'd that has made my shoulder "CLICK! and CLACK!" every time i do something like say a BOng Sau...... I might have to see a doctor soon!!! How can my brother do this to me??? DOes he fear me becoming just as good as him??? He used to bully me a lot and try to control my life every day, until i ran away with my girlfriend for 5 years (married and have a daughter and everything too )

And now that i'm staying over with my parents for a bit, he does his best to invade my privacy, open up my mail, search my room, demand where i'm going and why.... I tell him i'm a grown 24 year old man who has a daughter and need to visit her, and tell him to give me respect and stop trying to control me yet, he still spreads rumours about me to my Sifu, follows me on public transit, etc etc. it gets ridiculous...


Anyhow
Just in 2 days in the other class of our school system, i learned some valuable lessons and principles passed on from my fellow junior students!!! While for almost a year i've been wasting my time getting fooled and "free style" Chi Sao'ing with my senior biological brother!

SO in short, there is not much for me to do but continue keeping faith in my Sifu, Wing CHun... Though i will take the responsibility to cross train in boxing and Kali just to get my footwork and flow improved alongside my Wing Chun conditioning and principles...

I just feel like i need to make my own moves in order to improve. I need to take action or get left behind while the other juniors head on to becoming seniors with more skills and experience...

SOrry for keeping this reply very long...

 

[ed-swckf]

No, my Sifu is very well versed and very experienced. He is a head bouncer at a night club and has first hand knowledge. He is also a very good student and teacher of Sayoc Kali. I respect him dearly and am doing my best to be a good student but, it is hard with a senior brother (who is my blood brother also) trying to play politics and give me a bad name to my Sifu.

Also my brother has been chi sao'ing with me for the last while and giving me either bad advice or not correcting me at all. I finally had the opportunity to Chi Sao with fellow junior students at another school connected with my Sifu but, taught by one of his top students. Lets just say my fellow junior level students/friends had all the basics down pat and kept hitting my throat which was often open. This one guy kept doing a lap with one of my hands while using his other hand to hit my throat.

My brother kept allowing me to "find his openings" even though he is very good at Chi Sao and has used his stuff in real life. Yet, i try Chi Sao'ing with students who are junior to his level and kept getting hit!!! So all along my brother has been deceiving me and trying to hold me back from progressing. Infact the same very junior students i Chi Sao'd with kept commenting on how they sparred and Chi Sao'd with my bigger brother and how good he is!!! One guy even said "Man your brother --- is soooooooooo good he nearly broke my ankle while we did Chi Sao!!!" So how is it that my brother is able to have the upperhand in Chi Sao with the same junior students who in turn had the upperhand over ME in Chi Sao???

I found out later from one of the juniors that my brother taught all the correct forms/hand positions/applications to other juniors, while he didn't show me anything. Also my brother has done something to my left shoulder while we Chi Sao'd that has made my shoulder "CLICK! and CLACK!" every time i do something like say a BOng Sau...... I might have to see a doctor soon!!! How can my brother do this to me??? DOes he fear me becoming just as good as him??? He used to bully me a lot and try to control my life every day, until i ran away with my girlfriend for 5 years (married and have a daughter and everything too )

And now that i'm staying over with my parents for a bit, he does his best to invade my privacy, open up my mail, search my room, demand where i'm going and why.... I tell him i'm a grown 24 year old man who has a daughter and need to visit her, and tell him to give me respect and stop trying to control me yet, he still spreads rumours about me to my Sifu, follows me on public transit, etc etc. it gets ridiculous...


Anyhow
Just in 2 days in the other class of our school system, i learned some valuable lessons and principles passed on from my fellow junior students!!! While for almost a year i've been wasting my time getting fooled and "free style" Chi Sao'ing with my senior biological brother!

SO in short, there is not much for me to do but continue keeping faith in my Sifu, Wing CHun... Though i will take the responsibility to cross train in boxing and Kali just to get my footwork and flow improved alongside my Wing Chun conditioning and principles...

I just feel like i need to make my own moves in order to improve. I need to take action or get left behind while the other juniors head on to becoming seniors with more skills and experience...

SOrry for keeping this reply very long...

So you feel you are being kept back? Have you discussed this with your sifu? Have you discussed the rumours your brother has spread with either your brother or your sifu? I mean you obviously have issues here, i seriously suggest talking to them about it.

 

[Ric Flair]

I approached my Sifu about it this past sunday and it only seemed like he took offense to me approaching him about it. I was a bit upset but respectful (to my knowledge) to Sifu. He was putting his hand in my face and using a lot of arm language. I even caught a few of his "testing movements" like his throat jab posed as a quick pointing gesture. TO my knowledge, i feel he sensed i was testing or challenging him when i wasn't. I was simply upset and expressing concerns to Sifu.

Seemed like Sifu already has his mind set up on who he wants to believe; my brother of course!!!

I told Sifu everything. About how my brother is following me all over town. He is even going to classes now just to "see what i'm up to and to see if i am really going to class at all". God damn i'm not a child anymore!!! It is non of my brothers business of where i go or where i don't go!!! I can be going to strip joints for all he knows but, thats my business not his!!! I don't need anyones permission how to live my life. I allow myself to be enlightened by the choices i make in life.

Really i don't need my brother trying to baby sit me (i'm 24, married with a baby daughter!)

I believe in martial arts the whole concept is to learn self efficiency and responsibility. I cannot allow my brother or anyone else to hinder my self developement and growth.

Anyone elses opinions???

 

[evenflow1121]

I have to agree with Sarah, it seems like the best possible choice; of course you could through your own actions demonstrate that you are not a bad student, some how the truth will always come out, it just takes a long while sometimes.

 

[ed-swckf]

I approached my Sifu about it this past sunday and it only seemed like he took offense to me approaching him about it. I was a bit upset but respectful (to my knowledge) to Sifu. He was putting his hand in my face and using a lot of arm language. I even caught a few of his "testing movements" like his throat jab posed as a quick pointing gesture. TO my knowledge, i feel he sensed i was testing or challenging him when i wasn't. I was simply upset and expressing concerns to Sifu.

Seemed like Sifu already has his mind set up on who he wants to believe; my brother of course!!!

I told Sifu everything. About how my brother is following me all over town. He is even going to classes now just to "see what i'm up to and to see if i am really going to class at all". God damn i'm not a child anymore!!! It is non of my brothers business of where i go or where i don't go!!! I can be going to strip joints for all he knows but, thats my business not his!!! I don't need anyones permission how to live my life. I allow myself to be enlightened by the choices i make in life.

Really i don't need my brother trying to baby sit me (i'm 24, married with a baby daughter!)

I believe in martial arts the whole concept is to learn self efficiency and responsibility. I cannot allow my brother or anyone else to hinder my self developement and growth.

Anyone elses opinions???

Your situation/relationship with your sifu is not at all as it should be, you should really consider the fact that things aren't likley to improve whilst you perpetuate the relationship. As for the relationship between you and your brother, thats a personal matter that shouldn't be effecting your training.

 

[Sarah]

Agreed...if you can not approach your instructor and talk to him about your concerns that is a big problem, and this will jeopardize your progress in WC.

Also im sure there are other good WC instructors that may better accommodate your needs.

If there is conflict with your brother, training at the same school may well be exacerbating the problem..there are other schools but you only have one brother (well...you may have more, but you get my point!)

 

[SilatFan]

This sounds like an absolutely absurd relationship between your Teacher, brother and yourself. If it’s as you are describing then your brother has some real control issues that either need to be addressed or you’ll just have to reconcile yourself to dealing with. But that’s family, family issues can be weird and only you can make a call on what to do. As far as your “teacher” goes, ditch him! Good Wing Chun, Kali and some street experience is a good combination but he doesn’t care if you learn and that says it all. If you are not learning, then you’re not learning and it’s a waste of your time. Especially, if he’s preparing to hit you when you attempt to talk to him.

You’re a married man and a father. Spend what free time you have somewhere productive. Your brother and “teacher” sound like pricks. And one thing I have learnt is that the truly good (skill wise) practitioners of the arts are not jerks to their students. They may be laid back or totally impassioned or somewhere in between but only mid-level players are so insecure to CREATE more tension in their students lives. Their purpose is to help REDUCE the tension/anxiety/negative affects that we fight in the battle of life.

Ditch the “teacher.” He could be the Einstein of martial arts (Believe me he’s not) but if he isn’t helping you learn then it’s a straight waste of your time. Go to the other W C school you liked or even another art all together. You’ll be better off for it.

Peace

 

[Ric Flair]

This sounds like an absolutely absurd relationship between your Teacher, brother and yourself. If it’s as you are describing then your brother has some real control issues that either need to be addressed or you’ll just have to reconcile yourself to dealing with. But that’s family, family issues can be weird and only you can make a call on what to do. As far as your “teacher” goes, ditch him! Good Wing Chun, Kali and some street experience is a good combination but he doesn’t care if you learn and that says it all. If you are not learning, then you’re not learning and it’s a waste of your time. Especially, if he’s preparing to hit you when you attempt to talk to him.

You’re a married man and a father. Spend what free time you have somewhere productive. Your brother and “teacher” sound like pricks. And one thing I have learnt is that the truly good (skill wise) practitioners of the arts are not jerks to their students. They may be laid back or totally impassioned or somewhere in between but only mid-level players are so insecure to CREATE more tension in their students lives. Their purpose is to help REDUCE the tension/anxiety/negative affects that we fight in the battle of life.

Ditch the “teacher.” He could be the Einstein of martial arts (Believe me he’s not) but if he isn’t helping you learn then it’s a straight waste of your time. Go to the other W C school you liked or even another art all together. You’ll be better off for it.

Peace

No. My Sifu is a great man with very good morals and ethics. He is NOT a jerk or a prick. He is a man of great principles and integrity.

I have learned a lot from him in the past and even the present (though i feel i could learn a lot more if only he trust me). He has morals. Since my Sifu takes such responsability for what he does and teaches in life, he has every right to question the motives of his students. I have no problem with this.

I DO have a problem however with outside interference which can hinder or deceive my Sifu's decisions.

I will not ditch my Sifu because i owe a great deal of not only respect but gratitude towards him for even accepting me so many years back into his school. I've done some bad things in my past and he caught me, yet he has forgiven me to return into his class with dignity.

He has kicked out two other students for backstabbing him with politics and such. Yet i am still allowed in his school, so i will not ditch him. I will not throw away something that has more value than 24k gold. I have been given opportunity and privilage towards self knowledge and progression in life thanks to Sifu and Wing Chun.

However, just because i'm in his class doesn't mean he fully trust me and places me within his "circle" of trusted people. Thus this might mean he is not teaching me the full details or principles... I might have to deal with these issues with him and earn my way to a better path through patience and compassion towards my training, even if i'm not being taught the full truth.
Right now things don't seem too bright because these are not exactly good experiences but, like Sifu told me "there are good experiences and, LEARNING experiences, never bad experiences".

SO i will just have to accept fate with my foundation art (WIng CHun) and consider also cross training sooner or later...

 

[Sarah]

You seem to already have made up your mind...so why ask our opinions?

 

[ed-swckf]

No. My Sifu is a great man with very good morals and ethics. He is NOT a jerk or a prick. He is a man of great principles and integrity.

I have learned a lot from him in the past and even the present (though i feel i could learn a lot more if only he trust me). He has morals. Since my Sifu takes such responsability for what he does and teaches in life, he has every right to question the motives of his students. I have no problem with this.

I DO have a problem however with outside interference which can hinder or deceive my Sifu's decisions.

I will not ditch my Sifu because i owe a great deal of not only respect but gratitude towards him for even accepting me so many years back into his school. I've done some bad things in my past and he caught me, yet he has forgiven me to return into his class with dignity.

He has kicked out two other students for backstabbing him with politics and such. Yet i am still allowed in his school, so i will not ditch him. I will not throw away something that has more value than 24k gold. I have been given opportunity and privilage towards self knowledge and progression in life thanks to Sifu and Wing Chun.

However, just because i'm in his class doesn't mean he fully trust me and places me within his "circle" of trusted people. Thus this might mean he is not teaching me the full details or principles... I might have to deal with these issues with him and earn my way to a better path through patience and compassion towards my training, even if i'm not being taught the full truth.
Right now things don't seem too bright because these are not exactly good experiences but, like Sifu told me "there are good experiences and, LEARNING experiences, never bad experiences".

SO i will just have to accept fate with my foundation art (WIng CHun) and consider also cross training sooner or later...

Well if you aren't prepared to make any change in your situation then you should learn to accept your sifu nearly hitting you for asking him questions and also with your interfearing brother. I wish you all the best but its quite clear that people here feel you would benifit from making a change, i can't imagine anyway saying that its a good situation to be in, but good luck, go your own way.