It's only fair if I start this off.
A few years back, I discovered an Aikido club near me. I've always wanted to learn, and the price was crazy ($20 a month!).
I attended two classes. No complaints.
During the second class, a larger man wearing a frayed black belt enters the gym. Everyone kind of gets that hush that you usually only see in movies when the 'wrong person' enters a bar.
He proceeds to correct some technique, ask me how I'm doing (because I'm a new face) and then leaves to get something from his car.
Everyone begins talking in hushed tones. I ask what's up, since I want to know what's going on.
In my first class, I had been told the original instructor had taken a leave. I figured it was to do some intensive training, go on vacation, whatever.
But no.
Apparently, this guy had some mental issues (and not the fun kind of "oh, that Patch Adams is a character" mental difference, but
Paranoid Schizophrenia) and was voluntold to check himself into a facility.
So now I'm in a class with a very large, possibly crazy, Aikido black belt.
He comes back. Everything's going fine, considering.
He asks everyone to gather round on the mat. We do.
The conversation then quickly spirals into crazy town. I don't remember it word-for-word, so here's the bullet points:
- I am shogun, and sometimes shogun has to step up and show that he's shogun
- something about the evil medical industry conspiracy (for those of you keeping score: we now have a very large, possibly crazy, absolutely off his meds, Aikido black belt)
- he gives us bamboo plants (that's what he left to get) as a gift. That's kind of neat..
- He (and this is where the real fun begins) produces a wooden katana and samurai dagger (I forget the name.. wakizashi?)
- he wants us to commit a fake seppuku (ritual suicide) to show how regretful we are are for turning against our shogun.
And that's when I got up, walked backwards towards the door, and never came back.
If a guy thinks he can get you to fake kill yourself, I don't want to know what he'll think of next.
