The 'Vampire Straw' so-called dual-purpose self-defense tool

Bill Mattocks

Sr. Grandmaster
MTS Alumni
Joined
Feb 8, 2009
Messages
15,411
Reaction score
4,068
Location
Michigan
I never heard of these before, but I'm not shocked.


It's the same sort of thing that gets popular for awhile, going back to the Kubaton keychain or maybe even the sword-cane. People often like the idea of a self-defense weapon that has a dual purpose, like an ink pen that is hardened and can be put to use as a stabby kind of thing if need be.

Everyone wants the magic device that puts one over on cops and security people. Ha ha, officer, it's not a stabby thing, it's a pen! See? It writes! It's not a stabby thing, it's a straw! See me drink from it! It's not a set of brass knuckles, it's a belt buckle! See it hold my pants up?

The problem is, there is no magic. You're not going to fool anyone or argue a cop out of seeing it for what it is. Wink, wink, doesn't really work.

Weapons are in what they are used for, not necessarily what they look like. There's no way to reliably fool professionals. It might work once or twice; but when you get caught, you're caught.

About the only dual-use self-defense weapon that I think can be carried reliably is a cane, and that's for people who need one and can prove it (typically). At my age, my gait is messed up. If I start walking with a cane (and I have in the past, but I'm better now), I can pretty much take it anywhere; if I have to use it to defend myself, oh well. However, something slightly more offensive in nature, like a sword cane, isn't going to pass. There are lots of places a person can learn to fight with a cane, and lots of canes that can take a lot of abuse. So I'll exempt that.

But otherwise? I've seen people get their Kubatons confiscated, their brass knuckle belt buckles, their 'CIA pens' and their plastic x-ray-proof daggers. You can argue all you like, it's not going to fool a cop.

My suggestion is to leave the vampire straw at home. Good grief.
 

Holmejr

Brown Belt
Joined
Dec 23, 2017
Messages
473
Reaction score
276
Great tool for stabbing, err, I mean eating bobas from your bubble tea吁o whats the issue?
 

Kung Fu Wang

Sr. Grandmaster
MT Mentor
Joined
Sep 26, 2012
Messages
13,723
Reaction score
4,337
Location
Austin, Tx/Shell Beach, Ca
This is an effective killing weapon. It causes the wound to be a tunnel and hard to stitch up. It's also difficult to stop the blood coming out of the wound. Your opponent will bleed to death.
 

Hot Lunch

Brown Belt
Joined
Apr 25, 2023
Messages
427
Reaction score
180
On my keychain, I keep a pry tool that has wrench slots in it (Leatherman "By the Numbers" series). It can also be used as a flathead screwdriver. It's also TSA compliant (as indicated on the packaging). Once, when going into a courthouse, security at the door was questioning it, and I told her it was TSA compliant. And she let me through with it. I understand two things: TSA compliance is irrelevant in a courthouse, and that she probably let me through because she may have felt it wasn't an issue worth pushing.

In any case, I do keep a "get home bag" on me at all times, even when I'm going through the airport. I use the Keep Notes app on my phone where I maintain a list of items in my GHB that either need to be moved to checked luggage or left at home.
 

Dirty Dog

MT Senior Moderator
Staff member
Lifetime Supporting Member
Joined
Sep 3, 2009
Messages
22,873
Reaction score
8,513
Location
Pueblo West, CO
This is an effective killing weapon.
Only in the sense that a screwdriver is an effective killing weapon. But it's less rigid.
It causes the wound to be a tunnel and hard to stitch up.
We generally don't suture puncture wounds, because that leads to anaerobic infections. But in the rare case that we do, they're no more difficult to suture than any other small wound.
It's also difficult to stop the blood coming out of the wound.
No, it's not. Not in the least.
Your opponent will bleed to death.
Only if you hit something vital and nobody has the good sense to apply pressure.

This is nothing more than a big needle. I stick big needles into people all the time. Including sticking things like 7 Fr lines into the femoral artery. I have not killed anybody by doing so, but I've only been doing it for 40 years, so maybe it's just a matter of time.
Angiography sheaths, also placed in the femoral artery, are up to 24 Fr. That's .315 inches in diameter for the non-medical. While complications such as pseudoaneurysm, hematomas, etc are certainly a problem, the risk of bleeding to death approaches zero.
 

Kung Fu Wang

Sr. Grandmaster
MT Mentor
Joined
Sep 26, 2012
Messages
13,723
Reaction score
4,337
Location
Austin, Tx/Shell Beach, Ca
the risk of bleeding to death approaches zero.
It reminds me of this. There is a good reason that the blade is designed this way - allow air space in the wound.

san_lin_dao.jpg
 
OP
Bill Mattocks

Bill Mattocks

Sr. Grandmaster
MTS Alumni
Joined
Feb 8, 2009
Messages
15,411
Reaction score
4,068
Location
Michigan
This is an effective killing weapon. It causes the wound to be a tunnel and hard to stitch up. It's also difficult to stop the blood coming out of the wound. Your opponent will bleed to death.
Not the point, but, sigh.
 

Kung Fu Wang

Sr. Grandmaster
MT Mentor
Joined
Sep 26, 2012
Messages
13,723
Reaction score
4,337
Location
Austin, Tx/Shell Beach, Ca
the risk of bleeding to death approaches zero.

The design of the vampire straw is similar to the design of three-edged military thorn. Both allow air to go into the wound.​

Why was the 56-type three-edged army thorn, which once beaten the Vietnamese army to the point of fear, was eliminated by the army?​


Of all the military thorns in China, the most lethal one is the Type 56 three-edged military thorn. There are many curious, since the power is so terrible, why is it now eliminated by the troops and no longer used?

First of all, the most terrible thing about the 56-type three-edged military thorn is the design of its edge-shaped blade and three-sided blood groove. As soon as it is pierced into the enemy, the blood will immediately spew out of the blood tank. Moreover, the three-edged army thorns are also covered with fine holes. After piercing the human body, the air on the small holes will continue to enter the body, causing secondary damage to the wound.

Therefore, once stabbed by the 56-style three-edged army thorn, the wound needs to be recuperated for a long time before it can heal. In the self-defense counterattack against Vietnam, our soldiers used this military thorn to play the combat effectiveness of God blocking and killing God and Buddha blocking and killing Buddha. Beat the Vietnamese army to the core.

However, the damage caused by this 56-style three-edged army thorn is too bloody, and it will bring huge pain and psychological pressure to the injured when used. Therefore, the troops' willingness to use it is not as strong as before. It didn't take long for our troops to slowly phase them out in favor of other new types of thorns.

military_dagger.jpg
 
Last edited:

frank raud

Master of Arts
Joined
Mar 23, 2006
Messages
1,851
Reaction score
682
Location
Ottawa, ON
As soon as it is pierced into the enemy, the blood will immediately spew out of the blood tank
TIL the human body has a blood tank. If the author of the article fails so badly in basic human anatomy, why should I believe any of the other theories he writes about?

PS. Just a thought. If the Vampire straw has the victim spurting blood out the end of the straw, exactly where is the air being drawn in? Ain't no valve, ain't no air holes (which consider the size of the straw would be blocked with blood almost immediately)
 

Dirty Dog

MT Senior Moderator
Staff member
Lifetime Supporting Member
Joined
Sep 3, 2009
Messages
22,873
Reaction score
8,513
Location
Pueblo West, CO
The design of the vampire straw is similar to the design of three-edged military thorn. Both allow air to go into the wound.
So what? Air in a wound does nothing whatsoever.
Why was the 56-type three-edged army thorn, which once beaten the Vietnamese army to the point of fear, was eliminated by the army?
Don't know. Maybe they figured out that all of this was nonsense?
First of all, the most terrible thing about the 56-type three-edged military thorn is the design of its edge-shaped blade and three-sided blood groove.
Knives do not have blood groves. The fullers on a blade add strength by increasing the surface area and remove metal to make the blade lighter. The whole "blood grove" thing is nonsense perpetrated by people who don't actually know anything about blades.
As soon as it is pierced into the enemy, the blood will immediately spew out of the blood tank.
What the hell is a "blood tank"? I must have missed that in A&P. It's embarrassing to think that I have no idea what that is, despite my Masters being in Human Physiology... Or maybe, just maybe... this is all a load of fetid donkey dung.
Moreover, the three-edged army thorns are also covered with fine holes. After piercing the human body, the air on the small holes will continue to enter the body, causing secondary damage to the wound.
Again, so what? Every wound anybody has ever had has been exposed to air. Every. Single. One. Air doesn't hurt wounds. Not in the slightest. I suppose if the blade included little holes with a pressurized air supply... but then it would be the pressure causing the secondary damage, not the air. There is (or was) a knife like that sold to foolish divers.
Therefore, once stabbed by the 56-style three-edged army thorn, the wound needs to be recuperated for a long time before it can heal.
Bollocks.
 

Dirty Dog

MT Senior Moderator
Staff member
Lifetime Supporting Member
Joined
Sep 3, 2009
Messages
22,873
Reaction score
8,513
Location
Pueblo West, CO
TIL the human body has a blood tank. If the author of the article fails so badly in basic human anatomy, why should I believe any of the other theories he writes about?

PS. Just a thought. If the Vampire straw has the victim spurting blood out the end of the straw, exactly where is the air being drawn in? Ain't no valve, ain't no air holes (which consider the size of the straw would be blocked with blood almost immediately)
Maybe you're supposed to blow through the straw after stabbing someone?
 

frank raud

Master of Arts
Joined
Mar 23, 2006
Messages
1,851
Reaction score
682
Location
Ottawa, ON
Maybe you're supposed to blow through the straw after stabbing someone?
As an authentic Canadian, I can attest we put million of taps( very similar to the straw) in millions of maple trees every year. I've never heard of a tree being damaged by air entering through the taps that are left in the trees for weeks. Heck the big guys use a vacuum system, rather than just let it drip.
 

Dirty Dog

MT Senior Moderator
Staff member
Lifetime Supporting Member
Joined
Sep 3, 2009
Messages
22,873
Reaction score
8,513
Location
Pueblo West, CO
To @Bill Mattocks' original point... This is all foolishness. If you want to carry a weapon, carry a weapon. It'll be more effective than gimmick devices. If you're not allowed to carry a weapon, then accept that doing so will likely get you in trouble.
 

frank raud

Master of Arts
Joined
Mar 23, 2006
Messages
1,851
Reaction score
682
Location
Ottawa, ON
To @Bill Mattocks' original point... This is all foolishness. If you want to carry a weapon, carry a weapon. It'll be more effective than gimmick devices. If you're not allowed to carry a weapon, then accept that doing so will likely get you in trouble.
Foolishness? It's only $85 for a Szabo Vampire straw. What could possibly be foolish about one of those?
 

Latest Discussions

Top