Sometimes You've Got To Embarrass Yourself
- Thread starter PhotonGuy
- Start date
dvcochran
Grandmaster
I get what you are saying but can you give some examples of what you mean?
Some people are embarrassed or self conscious the first time they walk in the door of the dojo/dojang. Some people (me) knowing do things they are going to fail at to get better. I do not necessarily translate to being embarrassed. Just part of the natural learning curve of MA.
If you are in a belittling (jerk instructor) environment that is a very different scenario and should be considered accordingly.
Some people are embarrassed or self conscious the first time they walk in the door of the dojo/dojang. Some people (me) knowing do things they are going to fail at to get better. I do not necessarily translate to being embarrassed. Just part of the natural learning curve of MA.
If you are in a belittling (jerk instructor) environment that is a very different scenario and should be considered accordingly.
In a decent training environment nobody is going to embarrass themselves. If you are attempting something and it doesn't work you aren't embarrassing yourself. All you do is keep trying until you can do it. If there's talk of people 'embarrassing' themselves where you train then you are in the wrong place, find somewhere better to train.
- Thread Starter
- #4
Lets say there's this job you really want. In order to have any chance of getting the job you have to apply. When you do apply for a job you take the risk of being turned down. There is always the chance you can be rejected and not get the job. Being rejected from a job you apply to can be embarrassing not to mention very disappointing but that's the risk you take when you apply.
You could of course not apply, you definitely won't get the job but you also will not risk being embarrassed by being turned down. But, if you don't apply in the first place then you will have no hopes of getting the job.
Applying for a job is just one example but the point is that if you hope to ever get, do, achieve, or learn that you are sometimes going to have to put yourself in situations where you might get embarrassed. When you strive for success you are sometimes going to be embarrassed, its inevitable. You will get nowhere without sometimes taking the risk of being embarrassed.
JR 137
Grandmaster
I’m pretty sure it’s just semantics and you’re both saying the same thing.
I doubt it to be honest, my brain really does not work like Photonguy's, and if he says 'embarrass' he means it.
Gweilo
Master Black Belt
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He probably cannot, but I bet $1000, it followed the sentance "watch/like this"
dvcochran
Grandmaster
That is a pretty circular comment but, yes.
Gweilo
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I agree, but if you never gamble, you never win, and you can definately over complicate it, through rashional and irashional thought, this of course is determined by your own opinion of yourself and your self worth.
- Thread Starter
- #12
How is it a circular comment?
Flying Crane
Sr. Grandmaster
I don’t see anything to be embarrassed about in being turned down for a job. Most job postings have multiple applicants. If there is only one opening, then only one gets the offer and the rest get turned down. All the applicants could be equally qualified and equally desired by the employer, but they need to choose one. What is there to be embarrassed about?
Applying for a job and experiencing being turned down is something that we all go through. Frustrating, disappointing, yes. Embarrassing, no.
- Thread Starter
- #14
Being rejected from a job can be very embarrassing. Its a blow to the ego and some people will get very embarrassed by it.
Flying Crane
Sr. Grandmaster
Well it certainly does not need to be. If it is then I think an adjustment of mindset is needed in order to have a healthier outlook about that. Because unless you acted like a complete jerk in the interview, the rejection is not an indictment of you as a person.
As I said, it is possible that every applicant was equally qualified and the employer would have liked to hire them all. But if there is only one opening, they have to choose one. It could have literally been a flip of a coin at that point.
As applicants, we do not know what is going on in the background of the hiring process. That is not shared with us. But there is no reason to assume that they looked down on you if you know you were qualified and you know you acted in a dignified manner in the interview.
I think you ought to take a different view of this.
If it's a blow to the ego, the reaction won't be embarrassment, it will be anger or resentment.
Being turned down for a job isn't an embarrassment. Turning up late, slovenly or being rude in the interview is cause to be embarrassed but usually people who do that don't really care so won't be embarrassed anyway.
I think this depends on the individual. If you have a huge ego, then losing or learning something new will be embarrassing. Hopefully humbling. If you don't, then you're right, there shouldn't be any embarrassment going on.
If you have a huge ego, you never think it's your fault, it's always someone else's so you won't be embarrassed, just angry that they dared to turn you down. A lot of politicians and world leaders are like this.
I rated that funny, but it could have been an 'agree'. It's a good point, and I also chuckled at it. I'd agree that embarrassed is the wrong word, resentment like you said earlier is better.
Sometimes you have to laugh otherwise it's just too depressing to watch those with huge egos, ranting about how they aren't responsible when things go wrong and how they are when things go right, when usually they have nothing to do with the things going right and all to do with the things that go wrong. I do have certain politicians and leaders in mind when I say this.
