Steve
Mostly Harmless
I think that what is not universal is pretty much everything you think is universal.
Self Defense for Women
- Thread starter BraxLimbo
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Yeah not to go off too far. The world is like Tardigrades.
Just when I think something is universal a "tardigrade" will pop up and prove otherwise.
I would make a suggestion that the best art bar none for dealing with assaults is YOUR art only AFTER you have trained it to deal in a realistic manner with those potential assaults.
There is no sense searching for a particular beat-em-all art as different arts suit different practitioners irrespective of the situation in which they are deployed. ANY art will equip you with techniques to deal with an attempted or actual assault and but it is you who must satisfy your self that those techniques actually work FOR YOU in those situations. In no reality can you say Art X will assuredly work in an assault. There are too many variables to give any certainty. Best is to account for as many of those variables as realistically as possible from within your own training.
And but moreover, you absolutely must satisfy your self that YOU are psychologically prepared to and are capable of using those techniques in a moment where you would surely not have wished to. All the training in the world and all the convincing your self you are badass count for nought if there is not a real preparedness to utilise technique and training. For many women this can be a fatal fail point in an assault situation. Wishes Jxxx
hoshin1600
Senior Master
this thought is great and must be repeated. it is something i learned sometime ago that for me was a ground breaking concept and have made it a point to teach this ever since. it applies to all self defense methods. a woman may purchase a gun for self protection but that does not emotionally enable her to actually use it and take a human life if so needed. in the same way a martial art may teach and have aggressive tactics, like say Krav but that does no good for someone who can not visualize them selves actually gouging someones eyes. the major road block in self defense for women and also for men is the emotional un-willingness and unfamiliarity with non restrained unleashing of violence on another human being. to overcome a crashing wave of violence, your own wave must be larger, more powerfull and more intense. you need more firepower. you cant win an armed war carrying a pointy stick.
That's a good point. And especially because - at least for women - most assaults are committed by people you know. Even if you could (say) shoot a stranger in self-defense, could you shoot your cousin? Your coworker? Your neighbor?
I think styles that do a lot of sparring will be more likely to help someone be ready for having to fight, because you build muscle memory and instinct for doing techniques in a (relatively) uncontrolled environment with a non-compliant opponent. But sparring still has rules, the other person usually isn't actually trying to cause you serious harm, unlike in real life. A person defending themselves will probably have to go harder.
And I think styles that have a good grappling component (BJJ, Hapkido, etc) are a good choice, because they often teach techniques where you can control your opponent or escape their hold without causing them serious harm. Maybe you're not comfortable kicking your religious leader in the kneecap and gouging his eye (I know personally I couldn't do an eye gouge on a real person), but maybe you could use a wrist lock to escape his grab and run away.
you'll be surprised what you can do when your safety or life is on the line. if you have problems then remember this. To be kind to your enemy is to be cruel to yourself.
Never assume your attacker will show the same kindness for you well being. If you want to be kind to you enemy then call for medical help and the police after you have beaten your enemy. Family members kill as well when they go crazy or in a rage.
Hanzou
Grandmaster
You don't need to be kind, but you can also take someone out without actually hurting them. Pins and chokes work great for that purpose, and often times you can move from pins to chokes and locks if you can't stop with one or the other.
This is especially great for women, since strength or size isn't a huge requirement to pull them off, and the arts that use those tactics provide women with ample practice pulling those techniques off against larger and stronger opponents.
I'll let you and others walk that path. If I have to use kung fu, punch, kick, or use a knife or gun, then the point of being kind has passed. Me being doesn't extend beyond me saying"stop."
drop bear
Sr. Grandmaster
Is a fight so important that you feel the need to maim someone?
Maybe I wouldn't have maim someone if they didn't attack me in the first place. As for the fight, I don't care about the fight. I care about my safety. Self-defense isn't about the fight it's about protecting myself. Just like some people have no problem with shooting a person in self defense, I have no problem with using my martial arts to the fullest when necessary.
Where you see fight, I see defending myself. I think it's funny how your comment ignores the person who is out to do me harm or worse. If a person thinks it's so important to attack me and do me harm, then I think it's important for me to defend myself to the best of my abilities which doesn't include fancy submissions holds that I never trained in. I train to break bones and cause damage so that's what 's coming down the pipe. Maybe that's something people should think about before F-ing with someone.
"Don't start none, won't be none."
I just don't understand this compassion for an attacker when the attacker is more than happy to maim the victim. Like I said. I'll let you walk that path and have sympathy for your attacker.
Steve
Mostly Harmless
what are you doing that you're getting attacked so often?
Koshiki
Brown Belt
Methinks there may be a touch of the hypothetical in his comments?
Steve
Mostly Harmless
Exactly what I'm thinking.
My comments are accurate no hypotheticals. That's the action plan. The last time I was at risk of being attacked was from some local drug dealers in a Baltimore MD. They wanted me out of the neighborhood and actually tried to recruit people to do their dirty work. They made no efforts to hide those efforts and the threat was to jump me at night after work when I was leaving the building. I wasn't the only one in that situation. My coworker had the same plan.
Before that incident, I was in a verbal confrontation with a guy that I was more willing to kick into traffic had he tried to attack me. This happened when I came to the aid of a teenager that this man was trying to pick a fight with.
When I get into situations where I'm at risk of being attacked it's never over something small like "why are you looking at my girl." or "you think you are tough, alpha male street cred fights." I've been in situations where someone has tried to break into my house, had they made it into the house they would have been met with one family member who had 6 inch blade and another family member who had a gun.
So when I say I will bring the full extent of my self-defense capabilities on my attacker then that's what I mean. That's the plan. If my attacker gets maim, then so be it. I'm probably one of the few people in MT that mentally prepares himself to do terrible things to another human in the act of self defense. In my eyes when a person shoots and kills someone in self defense is far more than what I plan on doing.
Just because you guys won't take it the same extent doesn't mean that I follow the same rules. It also doesn't mean your attacker will equally care about your well being.
While you guys may not be willing to break an arm, I'm more than willing to do so if the situation calls for it and if the opportunity presents itself. It may sound strange and unreal to you guys, but someone pushing me, grabbing my shoulder, starting a bar fight with me, are things that have never even come close to happening to me. Maybe it's because I naturally look mean or the way I carry myself. But very few people have been willing to go the extra mile to see if I'm bluffing.
drop bear
Sr. Grandmaster
I like the idea that i can stop a guy without going full retard on them.
I am pesonally not a fan of people who have no sense of proportion. It turns a fight where both parties could have walked away into a situation where neither party walks away.
If i saw a guy going crazy and breaking dudes arms. i would arrest them.
@hoshin1600, I wonder is it difficult to visualise gouging someone's eyes because the situation that warrants such an action is a situation most of us would prefer to think will never happen? What do you think? Jx
@WaterGal, yes I agree with you. I wonder too if it is not just styles that do a lot of sparring helping someone to be ready for having to fight and but also that training in ANY style can help a woman to FEEL more confident, and in feeling more confident then look like less of a potential victim? Does that sound plausible do you think?? Jxxx
@WaterGal, yes I agree with you. I wonder too if it is not just styles that do a lot of sparring helping someone to be ready for having to fight and but also that training in ANY style can help a woman to FEEL more confident, and in feeling more confident then look like less of a potential victim? Does that sound plausible do you think?? Jxxx
hoshin1600
Senior Master
I have been teaching since the mid 1980s and I have put a lot of thought and research into women's self defense. One of the things I have found to be true is that women often find it difficult to express and explore aggression and violence. I would say the ratio is one out of twenty that have absolutely no issues letting loose. It ranges from not being able to do pad work to admitting "oh I could never do that" "I don't want to hurt anyone " I don't think it's a simple issue or cause but it is something that must be taken into account in training
I agree wholeheartedly with this even though I'm probably that one in twenty.
I was taught to box from about five years old by my father, I was also given things like train sets, cowboy sets etc as a child, I did get dolls as well I just wasn't brought up like a typical girl.I've taught a lot of women both martial arts and self defence, it is hard teaching sparring at first, it's not so much they are afraid of being hurt as many think but they are afraid of hurting.
Boys grow up having mock fights with their mates, often this carries on into adulthood lol, but girls don't do this, it would be discouraged very quickly if they did anyway so the idea of physically fighting even in fun is an alien concept to many women, those with brothers though like myself find it easier! Even so, when brothers and sisters fight they will both be told off for it but there will be more disapproval for the girl while the boy is thought to be 'just doing a boy thing'.
One of my favorite lessons was to throw a chair, some empty boxes and other stray items into the sparring area. I told them that the world is full of stuff, use it. It was great to watch how they used stuff. The best fighters were brought down a peg or two when someone could put a chair between them and their opponent.
Do you war game a situation when walking down the street? Just engaging in the mental exercise can go a long way towards keeping safe.
Do you war game a situation when walking down the street? Just engaging in the mental exercise can go a long way towards keeping safe.
Hanzou
Grandmaster
I think its important to recognize when something is life and death, and when something is just some idiot who needs to be temporarily put in their place. Very few situations are worth going to jail over, and even then, with proper skill you don't need to permanently maim or kill anyone.
Look at those women who stopped rape attempts and attempted robberies with Triangle Chokes. They took out their attackers, but didn't seriously hurt them.
Well except that one who performed a mounted triangle and proceeded to punch the guy in the face multiple times, but I digress......
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