When do you fight and for who do you fight?
The answers I had at twenty are not appropriate two decades later. There are fights I wouldn't avoid when I was single. Now that there's someone and, G-d willing, someday soon another who has a lien on a huge part of me it isn't an option. Of course, that means that fights are pretty much all serious matters now. They can't be for fun because the stakes are higher "And he wants to get home to his tea".
Would I fight to protect myself? Of course. My wife? I couldn't call myself a man if I wouldn't defend her to the death. A good friend? Yes. My youngest sister? Maybe. We don't get along very well. Her children? Yeah, if nothing else I
do have inclusive fitness through them
A stranger? I could say it really depends on what other actions I could take, the general situation, the risk, how innocent I thought the person I was helping really was and a host of other things. That's partially true. But it really comes down to basic character.
Here and
here's an illustration. Or there's my friend Rustin.
Rustin spent several months in a sedation-induced coma. He blew himself up in a particularly baroque Rustinesque accident that left him with scars, horrible burns, permanent nerve damage and terrible things done to his insides. During the first part of the accident he had a choice - run or stay and fight the fire. Honestly the building wouldn't have burned down. But he had seconds to make the decision. Because of who and what he is he stayed and fought when he should have run. It's who he is down at the bottom layers. The real choice was made years ago.
One of the classic interview questions for police candidates is a hypothetical dangerous situation and your reaction to it. The interviewers aren't looking for what you'd do. They push you because they are checking out your basic character. Will you stick by your decision and see it through? Can you be decisive and resolute? The particulars don't matter as long as they are basically sane. It's who you are rather than what you plan to do that is important. This comes down to exactly the same thing.