Run away!!!

[Deaf]

I agree... just leave. Don't try to talk and resolve the problem or de-esculate the situation. That is what shrinks are for!

Plus with my luck, being that I'm deaf, I'll probably say the wrong thing because I couldn't hear what the heck the jackasses were saying!

~Deaf~

 

[hardheadjarhead]

I didn't vote.

The options are all part of a continuum of de-escalization/escalization. One does what one needs to do at the moment. If talking will work, talk. If fighting is the only option because flight isn't possible, fight.

One might note that de-escalization can give the OTHER guy a chance to save face and back away from the situation.

The situation dictates the response



Regards,


Steve

 

[arnisador]

Getting awqay is always a good idea. How to do that? If possible, run.

 

[Bigshadow]

I agree with HardheadJarhead! I didn't vote either.

 

[Sarah]

There is nothing wrong with running away, it does not make you a wimp or anything!

You do what you need to do in the situation to protect yourself, if you can aviod getting into a fight that is the best way to go.

Besides you just never know how well trained the other person is, weapons or no weapons!

 

[rutherford]

I think that de-escalation is when you do not try to get away, but instead try to settle the problem without violence or leaving. If you are a bouncer, police officer, employee, Nurse in a hospital for the criminally violent insane, I think you have a need to try to stay around and talk the guy down.

Otherwise, get the heck out of there.

I know I read these posts shortly after you first wrote them, but things clicked in a bit better this time around.

I think the problem is that it's hard on the ego. You know you're in the right - and you want to show it, prove it, and can't understand why the other guy Just Doesn't Get It.

Thank you, Don.

 

[Don Roley]

I think the problem is that it's hard on the ego. You know you're in the right - and you want to show it, prove it, and can't understand why the other guy Just Doesn't Get It.

Oh, don't I know it!!!!!!

This is a problem we men seem to face. Females get it too, but they are not burdoned by some of the stupid hormones we have. We do not want to walk away. We want to rip the head off of the threat to our manhood and eat them!!!! We can tell ourselves that we are doing the right, smart thing by walking away from a guy taunting us in a bar, trying to start a fight. But in the back of our minds is a voice wondering if people will actually think we are cowards for doing the smart thing.

I chanced on a small solution a long time ago. I had a situation where some idiotic drunk tried to come at me on the street and I just took off. I called the teacher I was studying Bujinkan under at the time when I got home and he praised me and talked about how getting home in one peice is the whole goal of what we do. And he pointed out repeatedly that I had done just that without any bruises or legal trouble.

Have done it once, I found it easier to walk away from potential fights. I always try to call friends who also study the art afterwards to talk about it and get some support for my ego. It seems to work and it is not as hard to make the choice to get the heck out of there. Maybe it has to do with my growing age and maturity, but I really think that people should make a point of calling someone from their dojo after they walk or run away from a fight.

 

[Satt]

We want to rip the head off of the threat to our manhood and eat them!!!!

:burp: Now THAT'S what i'm talking about!!! LOL

 

[Shogun]

The poll is a little too open ended. if I was confronted, and it started getting violent, fighting until I can get away might be the best approach. but in all honesty, if someone were to hurt my family and THEN confront me...I would fight them until their is nothing left to fight. until the movement ceased. so it really (as all questions) depends. I've tried straying away from "well, what are the detail" type of thinking because they are always gonna be different. creativity is your enemy.

 

[Connovar]

I went for the verbal de-escalation. Generally if he is close enough that physical violence is possible than unless your are very quick and fast your are turning your back on the opponent. Most conflicts can be stopped with words. If he advances despite your telling him to stop then strking first is legally and morally legitimate but make sure your verbal intentions are load and clear to have him back off. The only exception for running is if he is armed and your are not or if there are multiples and your are not armed.

Since I am very often with my wife, runnng also is not an option

My recommendations would be if you legally can get a CCW then get one. There are many lightwt hammerless snubbies that you can easily drop into pocket for use against the armed opponent or multiple opponents. Generally if the person is much larger, is armed or there are multiples the use of a weapon is legal. However if your live in the Peoples Republic of California or in Europe then a firearm is probably not a doable option

 

[rutherford]

The Peoples Republic of California? What land are you from?

 

[Connovar]

Idaho! We are getting lots of refugees from the PRC lately because of its high crime and tax rates! Virtually every long arm I own would be illegal in California. I just found out the other day that the "stinger" I carry on my key ring is now illegal and isnt supposed to be taken across the borders into the PRC! Few people can get CCW's in California. In San Francisco they banned the ownership of handguns in SF even though its murder rate is rising. I could go on and on. I am just glad I live where I do and can enjoy all the freedoms of our constitution and not just some of them.

 

[Don Roley]

My recommendations would be if you legally can get a CCW then get one.

Whoah!!!!!!!

I am all for CCWs and the second amendment. But I see a troubling trend in what you write.

You seem to be trying to convince yourself that you just can't get away from the guy and preparing for battle. It kind of reminds me of the comments by Marc MacYoung describing a rattlesnake as a critter so stupid it can be 'cornered' in the middle of a open desert.

Rutherford and I just discussed how we men do not like to swallow our pride and back down. We try to find excuses to cover up the basic fact that we are protecting our manhood and not our life. People on th sidelines can tell that it is all over ego, but yet we are soooooo convinced that we are sticking around for a good reason.

So all the scenarios about being attacked while walking away, being with family, sounds like you are trying to justify not swallowing pride.

There are ways of moving away from someone without dropping your guard. We had an entire thread about hoko no kamae in this vein. Spouses can be coached on what to do if there is a situation that may turn violent. You can start to walk away from a situation. If they chase you, then you can deal with it from there as appropriate. But you talk to any street cop or defense lawyer about how it looks when someone does not make any move to get away from a screaming match and later pulls out a lethal weapon.

If you carry a lethal weapon, you have a greater responsibility to try to get the hell out of there at the earliest chance. You up the stakes straight to the kill or be killed stage because you have introduced the possibility of your weapon being taken off of you and used. Is it worth taking that chance and reacting in an appropriate manner over something like a screaming match over a parking space?