Hey allIve just started taking classes. While im not old by any means (39), Im probly older than most beginners.I know i shouldnt feel like this, but when im in class I feel so unsure and somewhat embarrassed cuz I dont know anything. All the other students are far ahead of me....and younger. Not kids or teens but like twenty somethings.The Sifus are right around my age and they say im picking it up very quickly but that may be just fluff to keep me motivated.Now...I know i should just swallow the man pride and say "hey im new at this"....its still hard to not feel uncomfortable. Especially when anyone im teamed up with immediately becomes an expert cuz they are paired up with the new guy. Dont get me wrong...the class is great and the people arent jerks or anything. I realize they are just trying to help. Its just all kinda embarrasing tho.Any advice to get this feeling out of my head?
Older noob feeling very uncomfortable...some advice plz
- Thread starter kllrbee
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wingchun100
Senior Master
Think about something you are good at that THEY might not be. That is one idea. The other is to give yourself a break. 
Xue Sheng
All weight is underside
Why did you start training martial arts?
Stop worrying about it and train more and one day you won't be the new guy.
skribs
Grandmaster
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You're new. It's as simple as that. It takes years to get black belt (assuming your art uses belts), which is basically "advanced student". Don't compare yourself to the others, compare yourself to yourself. Just work on improvement, and don't worry about being worse than this person or feeling silly about that.
oftheherd1
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Has it not occurred to you that all the other students, and your teachers, started out just like you? They kept at it. If you want to be where they are, you must do the same thing.
But you might want to always try a little harder, correct mistakes as quickly as possible and commit that learning to memory.
Others will come in after you and look at you the same way.
Welcome to MT and to MA.
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I'm kind of old school-my replies to threads like this usually aren't taken very well by the poster, so I'm gonna try and mellow it down.
Mostly because you said it yourself:
Yup.
Oh, here's where I repeat myself: It's not supposed to be easy
If it were, we'd all be black belts.....:lfao:
Seriously-I'm a congenital klutz, who got a birthday gift for his 11th birthday and just kept at it. I'm not really a "black belt," or "3rd degree" anything in my mind-in my mind, I'm a white belt with 43 years experience-I will always think that I suck, no matter how much I've achieved.
And, I have to add: stop whining. I hate that. There's all sorts of people with all sorts of obstacles to their training that just keep at it. My oldest student ever started with me when he was 86-it was only inevitable aging and death that kept him from attaining shodan ranking-the man never quit.
39 isn't old.
Embarrassment doesn't even count-I mean, it doesn't hurt, does it? :lfao:
You already did the hardest and bravest part: you got out there on the mat for the very first time; it only gets better.
Mostly because you said it yourself:
Yup.
Oh, here's where I repeat myself: It's not supposed to be easy
If it were, we'd all be black belts.....:lfao:
Seriously-I'm a congenital klutz, who got a birthday gift for his 11th birthday and just kept at it. I'm not really a "black belt," or "3rd degree" anything in my mind-in my mind, I'm a white belt with 43 years experience-I will always think that I suck, no matter how much I've achieved.
And, I have to add: stop whining. I hate that. There's all sorts of people with all sorts of obstacles to their training that just keep at it. My oldest student ever started with me when he was 86-it was only inevitable aging and death that kept him from attaining shodan ranking-the man never quit.
39 isn't old.
Embarrassment doesn't even count-I mean, it doesn't hurt, does it? :lfao:
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Honestly mate, it is not worth the internal stress and frustration if you look at it that way. Had a similar reaction recently myself, although for forgetting stuff I have learnt over the years. Chill man and look at it being fun. We all get old mate
EddieCyrax
Blue Belt
I started training when I was 40.....I am now 45.....I train in both Kempo and BJJ...
Stop comparing yourself to others. MA is an individual journey. The question is not will I ever be as good as the 20 somethings, but rather will they ever be as good as me when they are 40+.....
They have the benefit of youth......
Stop stressing......start training.....
Stop comparing yourself to others. MA is an individual journey. The question is not will I ever be as good as the 20 somethings, but rather will they ever be as good as me when they are 40+.....
They have the benefit of youth......
Stop stressing......start training.....
- Thread Starter
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Thnx everyone
Ya...its whiny...haha. I totally deserve that. Its not all that bad. I think what got me really stressing was last class we were hitting the pads and I have recently just recovered from a pinched nerve in my neck which has made my left arm weak. So I was paired up with a guy who had boxing experience and was hitting really hard. Then when it was my turn, it was like tap tap with the jabs cuz I dont have the strength back yet. I know stupid right? Just bein self conscious and dont want to look silly cuz of pride. I think one of you said it best to just relax and have fun eith it. Thats why I started anyways....to learn to defend myself....but also to have fun.
Chill....
Thnx again u guys....
Ya...its whiny...haha. I totally deserve that. Its not all that bad. I think what got me really stressing was last class we were hitting the pads and I have recently just recovered from a pinched nerve in my neck which has made my left arm weak. So I was paired up with a guy who had boxing experience and was hitting really hard. Then when it was my turn, it was like tap tap with the jabs cuz I dont have the strength back yet. I know stupid right? Just bein self conscious and dont want to look silly cuz of pride. I think one of you said it best to just relax and have fun eith it. Thats why I started anyways....to learn to defend myself....but also to have fun.
Chill....
Thnx again u guys....
wingchun100
Senior Master
No problem. You were just looking for some consolation that it wasn't hopeless.
skribs
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Regarding the nerves (the nerve fibers, not the anxiety), don't do anything that would hurt your body. I know you always run the risk of hurting yourself in martial arts, but if you're recovering from an injury, let it heal. I broke my toe accidentally kicking my desk, and I didn't kick bags with that foot for a few weeks. It's okay to say "I can't do this right now because of this injury" or "I have a bad back, so I can't do these rolls or fall hard". Your instructor should be fine with that, and IMO if he isn't, then you need a new one.
EddieCyrax
Blue Belt
"Pride" has no place in the dojo.......
Everyone is there to learn, and Everyone has things to learn......
Everyone struggles with their material.....perhaps not in the same way....
Making mistakes is part of the learning process......feel free to make as many as needed...
Everyone is there to learn, and Everyone has things to learn......
Everyone struggles with their material.....perhaps not in the same way....
Making mistakes is part of the learning process......feel free to make as many as needed...
As previous posters have said you are just going through what the other students did when they started. Sooner than you think other newer students will be looking at you as an example. So just relax...
Enjoy the Journey.
Enjoy the Journey.
It doesn't matter when you may start. It matters how long you can keep your training. Some one may start at 15 and quit when he is 40. That's only 25 years of training. If you start at 39 and keep your training until you are 100 years old, that will be 61 years of training.
It looks like lots of people start "late." I began at 32, and yes I still feel like a total dunce from time to time a year into this journey. All I can do is echo everyone else's advice, say stick with it and do not agravate an injury. If you have any serious fears or concerns always ask your teacher. Our senseis, if they are any good at all, want us to succeed. Enjoy your journey.
donnaTKD
Master Black Belt
i look around my new gym and i'm like "**** is there no one my age in here" and then you just get into it and age means nothing --- you're all there learn and everyone in the room is there to be taught so forget feeling sorry for yourself and just "lose yourself" in the art that you've chosen to learn.
on the injury front - get it checked out if it's just a minor tear then a few days ougtha sort that out but anything more serious will need more time
one other point just get in there and enjoy it --- after all you're paying for it so you may as well just crack on and have a laugh whilst taking part - that's what we do and you'll prolly make quite a few friends into the mix also
on the injury front - get it checked out if it's just a minor tear then a few days ougtha sort that out but anything more serious will need more time
one other point just get in there and enjoy it --- after all you're paying for it so you may as well just crack on and have a laugh whilst taking part - that's what we do and you'll prolly make quite a few friends into the mix also
As others have said - almost all of us started out the same way you are now, regardless of whatever age we were at the time. Except for the occasional natural athlete, everyone gets to spend some time as the newest, least skilled, least coordinated, most awkward feeling student in the dojo. Keep training and before too long someone else will show up and take your place in that role.
You're still pretty young, but you're old enough that you need to be smart and train carefully. Don't injure yourself trying to match the young guys with speed and power. Focus on good technique and the speed and power will follow naturally.
Good luck and enjoy your training!
You're still pretty young, but you're old enough that you need to be smart and train carefully. Don't injure yourself trying to match the young guys with speed and power. Focus on good technique and the speed and power will follow naturally.
Good luck and enjoy your training!
The feelings you are experiencing are normal OP. Try not to dwell. Just show up as often as you can and do what you are told to do to the best of your ability. Martial arts are a physically complicated endeavor but over time your body begins to naturally do what they've been trying to get it to do and you won't have to think about it anymore.
Try to have fun, martial arts are fun.
Try to have fun, martial arts are fun.
Balrog
Master of Arts
Don't feel bad. I'm a 6th Degree Black Belt and a Master Instructor, but there was a day when I was a White Belt beginner just like you. My very first class, I managed to punch myself in my own nose. :boing1:
You'll do fine.
Most important question - are you having any fun? Even a little? If you are you're all set.
Three folks walked into my dojo one day. Tony and his two sons. Tony was 39 (honest) his boys were 12 and 14. They wanted to join but they wanted dad with them. Tony wasn't athletic at all and had tight hips. His boys were the opposite. One boy lasted a year, the other about two and a half. Tony stayed. And stayed. He made his Black Belt nine years later. He became sort of a folk hero amongst the student body.
Anyway....if you're enjoying training, just keep going and have some more fun.
Three folks walked into my dojo one day. Tony and his two sons. Tony was 39 (honest) his boys were 12 and 14. They wanted to join but they wanted dad with them. Tony wasn't athletic at all and had tight hips. His boys were the opposite. One boy lasted a year, the other about two and a half. Tony stayed. And stayed. He made his Black Belt nine years later. He became sort of a folk hero amongst the student body.
Anyway....if you're enjoying training, just keep going and have some more fun.
