You know youÂ’re getting old when a fortune teller offers to read your face.
You know youÂ’re getting old when after painting the town red, you have to take a long rest before applying a second coat.
You know youÂ’re getting old when all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.
You know youÂ’re getting old when at the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.
You know youÂ’re getting old when dialing long distance wears you out.
You know youÂ’re getting old when almost everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work right.
You know youÂ’re getting old when it takes twice as long -- to look half as good.
You know you're getting old when it takes too much effort to procrastinate.
You know youÂ’re getting old when it takes two tries to get up from the couch.
You know youÂ’re getting old when the best part of your day is over when your alarm clock goes off.
You know youÂ’re getting older when the little gray-haired lady you help across the street is your wife.
You know youÂ’re getting old when the pharmacist has become your new best friend.
You know youÂ’re getting old when the twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your bifocals.
You know youÂ’re getting old when you and your teeth don't sleep together.
You know youÂ’re getting old when you burn the midnight oil until 9 P.M.
You know youÂ’re getting old when you canÂ’t stand people who are intolerant.
You know youÂ’re getting old when you finally get it all together and canÂ’t remember where you put it.
You know youÂ’re getting old when you get worn out dialing long distance.
You know youÂ’re getting old when you have more hair in your ears and nose than on your head.
You know youÂ’re getting old when you look forward to a dull evening.
You know youÂ’re getting old when your back goes out more often than you do.
You know youÂ’re getting old when youÂ’re 17 around the neck, 42 around the waist, and 96 around the golf course.
You know youÂ’re getting old when you regret all those mistakes resisting temptation.
You know youÂ’re getting old when you remember today that your wedding anniversary was yesterday.
You know youÂ’re getting old when you resent the annual swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.
You know youÂ’re getting old when you say something to your kids that your mother said to you, and you always hated it.
You know youÂ’re getting old when you step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there.
You know youÂ’re getting old when your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
You know you’re getting old when your favorite section of the newspaper is “25 Years Ago Today.”
You know youÂ’re getting old when your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
You know youÂ’re getting old when your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
You know youÂ’re getting old when your knees buckle but your belt wonÂ’t.
You know youÂ’re getting old when your mind writes checks that your body canÂ’t cash.
You know youÂ’re getting older when your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you watch a pretty girl go by.
You know youÂ’re getting old when your sex drive shifts from cruise control to neutral.
You know youÂ’re getting old when you sink your teeth into a steak -- and they stay there.
You know youÂ’re getting old when most of the names in your little black book end with M.D.
You know youÂ’re getting older when you sit in a rocking chair and canÂ’t get it going.
You know youÂ’re getting old when you try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.
You know youÂ’re getting old when you turn out the light for economics rather than romantic reasons.
You know youÂ’re getting old when you walk with your head high trying to get used to your bifocals.
You know youÂ’re getting old when you tell your doctor you are not dead and he argues with you. (Mark Twain)
You know youÂ’re getting old when you wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it.
You know youÂ’re getting old when it takes you longer to recover from having sex than to have it in the first place.
You know youÂ’re getting old when more than half of this list pertains to YOU!
