Nobody's Perfect



A strange thing happened to me last week.

In my ongoing search for new instruction, i stumbled across a diamond in the rough. in my very own neighborhood, nontheless. I found my perfect picture of the teacher for me. he teaches each and every aspect of martial arts i want to learn, or continue to learn. from styles, to training techniques, even medicine.

so I spent an evening training with him. he has so many certifications from noteworthy teachers, its like wallpaper on the wall in the studio. at the outset of the evening, it seemed to good to be true.And it was, after 3 hrs training with him, i realized that although i respected him, i could not stand his attitude and opinions. i couldnt see myself forming a friendship with him. i left in humility and he was eager to have me back, i told him i wasnt sure, yet. i just couldnt believe that i was going to pass up the opportunity to learn everything that i have searched so long to find. I havent returned to his studio.

So, has anyone ever had this experience. What did you do?

Do you overlook the negatives in exchange for all the good things and take the good with the bad?
Or do you continue looking when you know you may never find everything youre looking for?
This is a Brain shock.

If U are iritated no<

Are there other students in the class.
If so maybestrike up a friendship.

And do some Home Work.

just a thought
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Good Stuff
To me the attitude of the teacher is what is most important. In the final analysis, MA is a group of physical techniques, throws, strikes, etc. Some styles try to teach a code of conduct, that I personnally find attractive. You can learn techniques from many different people. But if, in the end you are compromising something of yourself to just learn new techniques, is it worth it. The other thing is about credentials. Today they are proliferating like fruit flies. If I wished to, I could now have numerous pieces of paper testifying to my Master Status in this or that. I have been nominated 5 times now to the Martial Arts Hall of Fame. to get in all I needed to do was send in my $$$$$$. I declined. You be the judge of whether a teacher has anything worthwhile to teach. Trust the judgement of those who by their ACTIONS have earned your respect. Don't give respect simply bacause of belt color or paper. Evaluate, observe, even question. That is what all people need to do.

P.S. What is the instructor's name. Maybe some on the boards have personal experiance with him.
i wont name him now. someone might tag his name for a bad teacher, and i wouldnt want that to happen, especially because hes not here to represent himself.
i will say that he teaches taiji, pakua, and xingyi in the phoenix area, he is an herbalist and acupuncturist. also southern mantis. and, believe me i looked closely at his certificates to teach, i know of his teachers, they dont run weekend real estate seminars.

one of the things that bothered me though was his attitude. quite the air of superiority, a can respect a little bit of that, but only so much. and also he couldnt read me, after spending three hours in eachothers company, he didnt have any idea who i was or honestly my skill level, it seemed. for an internal martial arts instructor, where are his listening skills?

again, the draw is the fact that he has what i want. since i arrived in this godforsaken desert ive been studying with the man, Jinheng Li. He doesnt teach what i want, but hes one of the best at what he does, i want the other side of that. im getting older now, and i want to be into the stuff that really gets me excited, but i just dont know where to get it.:idunno:
You may want to give him another chance. He may be testing you. He may not want to reveal himself to you until he knows you are serious about training with him. One three hour session may not be enough to see his true character, he may have had a bad day that day, etc.

In the end, he offers what you want to learn. You two may not become friends but what you need is a student/ teacher relationship. Can he fulfill the role of teacher? And can you overlook some of his faults to become his student?

In the end, you have to be comfortable with the choices you make. If it is going to be unbearable to attend his class, you already have your answer to your questions. Just because he teaches what you want to learn doesn't make him what you need. Good luck.
jkn75 Nice post, I agree, when I first started training with my Sifu, it was difficult, my first lesson went like this, Sifu showed me the motions, application, then sent me outside to practice, also he didn't really speak to me, that went on for a couple months, learn the motions then go outside, now we have a great relationship, teacher, and Student, so dont give up yet!

one other thing that really bugged me were the students. they were nice and somewhat friendly. but they were not skilled. some students had more than 2 years experience with the teacher and i wanted to ask them, what the heck have you been doing all this time? but i didnt mention that before because its hard to know what everyone's individual story is and what those years of training and level of commitment were really like.
lol, sounds a bit weird to be honest. I'd try a few lessons before deciding on anything. But if his Studants arent very good in your opinion...........actually you know what. I dont know. I guess its up to you on what to do.
I have been training with my sifu now for over 20 years. When i first met him, he was bad attitude, bad ways billy! At times i thought that he was a little off. We trained from duck walking, to low crawling, to hitting trees, to kicking the heavy bag, to monkey walking, to wrist push-ups. So, you name it, and we did just about all of it. The weird thing was the he was better than we were in doing it all. I coud not out duck walk him, wrist push-up him etc,. So, i began to realize that it was not my place to think about where i stood within his standings, because his training program was designed for failure. The point was to keep trying to get to mastery. Maybe that is why his iron ring training and alligator crawls today are not so bad. I even enjoy the training, when we do train. Now it is theory and stories of the old days. He has other practicing students today and works with women and the handicapped potential martial student. I see his students practice and show tips etc, and they are brother's in the art. So, this tribe type of study is a good thing; if you do not concentrate on where you should be and see and become happy with where you are. I never would have known what i do know and understand about street martial art's fighting; (even though he did a lot of competition fighting), without his guidance. The bad tasting medicine always produces the best results!
Sincerely, In Humility;
Yoda was crap at MA wasn't he?

You can't expect your teacher to be Yoda, all wise and enlightened. Be patient, you may see the good in your teacher yet. Chinese teachers especially display a bad attitude because it scares of timewasters. It's just the way they do it. Then, later on, they turn out fine. You've been in MA long enough to know when you are on the wrong end of a raw deal, so go with it, and see where it leads.

I won't even begin to start telling you about the attitudes and opinions of some of my teachers. One of them was practically a Neo Nazi. His opinions didn't rub off on me though, just little bits of his knowledge.
I don't know how I feel about this subject. The way I grew up had a heavy influence on honor and doing what is right regardless of what anyone else thinks. I find it VERY hard to even buddy train with someone who has a really bad attitude. I think its like the barrel of apples analogy, one bad apple will eventually turn the whole barrel bad. I think posativity is a mindset, just like negativity, and if you surround yourself with negative people you are more likely to start moving your mindest in that direction. Its a decsision that has to be made persoanly of course, but I think MA encompasses both attitude and physical skill, so just some thoughts to ponder.

thanks all, good advice from everyone.

hey, goldendragon,
its not jc. ill pm you.

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