The first time I was in Tiantan was about 20 years ago, that last time was a bit more than 1 year ago.... big difference between those visits, but then big difference in Beijing as well. My wife is a Beijingren
The 1st time I was in Tiantan was back in 1980. I still remember that when I walk with my wife on the Beijing street, people behind me said, "What's the situation here?" (My wife is American and I'm Chinese). One guy said, "He must be the tour guide." The other guy then said, "Why he is holding the American girl's hand if he is a tour guide?" The other guy said, "He must be a 三陪导游 - escort guide (a tour guide provide sex service)."
Every time I am in Beijing, someone, at least once, thinks my wife is my tour guide. On a bus the first time, had a little girl sitting there staring at us, we were speaking English, the little girl turned and asked her mom "How does she know how to speak to the guy with yellow hair". That made me laugh.
I had the same experience when I visited Shikoku Island, the smallest of Japan's four main islands. Seemed like I went back in time a century or two. I was the first Westerner the kids and most of the adults had ever seen. A few decades later my wife and I were in Jamaica and ventured into Brownstowne in the hills where I had my first and best goat curry. The waitress (owner?) said I was her fifth or sixth white customer ever. Walking out into the streets it dawned on me that every face I saw was black. There's nothing like going off the beaten path to get a feel for a region's true culture. Cities are largely the same worldwide. It's when you venture out you understand what a 'foreigner' is - it's you.
Now I’ve lived many years here in China , and some 15 or so years ago people began to come up to me and asked for the way to places they didn’t know how to get there, and when I began to explain the way then they noticed I’m a blond and blue eyed guy, then came the usual question- “are you American ?”
Last time in Beijing, My wife took our daughter and myslef to a little Baozi restaurant she use to go to when she lived in Beijing. It was near Tiantan park but down a little side street. Apparently foreigners never go there because people were litterally taking pictures of my daughter and myself at the table eating. One guy even walked over set up a tripod and took pictures. My daughter said "News at 11, white people actually ate here"
I actually don't feel like an outsider in Beijing, I find the surprise that Beijingren have when I show up, rather entertaining. I didn't feel like one in Taipei or Hong Kong either (no surprise when talking Hong Kong) but I did feel like an outsider in Tokyo, and surprisingly, in Montreal... and I have to be in Montreal this weekendMaybe , maybe not
My Chinese name gets a lot of smiles in Taiwan — 无名 (Wú Míng, “Nameless”) — the name I chose when applying for my resident alien card.
At the time, I was thinking:
“无名是我的真名——‘名可名，非常名’”
(“Nameless is my true name — the name that can be named is not the eternal name.”)
Some people live in a place and always feel like outsiders. Others try to fit in. But with time — if you're open — you may find you blend into the background. People stop noticing... and that, in a quiet way, means you’ve become part of it.
Everyone is different. There is no one size fits all.
Well that last bit is somewhat true.
