Martial Arts for the shy and learning from books and other sources!

[Tony]

I notice here there that all of you are training in some Martial Art and have got to some sort of proficiency at a school! But what if you are so shy or socially anxious about being with other people, that you are not able to even set through the door of a Martial Arts class, too nervous to approach the instructor and introduce yourself! So then you even though you have a passion to learn you have to resort to books and trying to learn and train from books! This was a problem for me. When I was 10 my mum signed me up for Judo classes at my Primary school but I didn't feel as though I learned much! Then when I move to Secondary school (High School) I was constantly bullied and all the time I was trying to find books on different Martial Arts to help me deal with various attacks. When I was about 14 a friend of my sister showed me some techniques and helped me get quite flexible and although he showed me some basic punches and kicks I still didn't feel confident to defend myself and the bullying continued! And because this guy went away I no longer had any private Tuition in Martial Arts, so I was forced to consult books and even Video Tapes! I do remember when I was 17 putting into practice something I had seen in a book which worked really well when some idiot put me in a bear hug! I simply headbutted him backwards!
When I was in the 6th form I made a friend who had studies Karate and was also a Big fan of Bruce Lee and his fighting techniques just like me. We became members of the same gym and would spar afterward. It became apparent he was much better than me which I didn't like because it really effected my self esteem and my confidence in my abilities!

Through playing football with my friends in the park it became apparent that my self taught lessons in Martial Arts were no good! They would constantly play fight with me and start jumping on top of me, but I managed to get them all of just by using my instincts! I guess it was a case of "Boys will be boys". But something that really made me realise that what I was doing did not help me when I was attacked! I felt so afraid and paralysed with fear that my legs would not move but its at times like that, that the Fight or flight response happens and I chose to run, which saved my life and I managed to escape with no marks on me at all which was a miracle as I was being hit a lot!

So when I was about 20/21 I decided that I needed to learn a Martial Art properly and managed to confront my demons! I went to so many classes but I was too shy to approach the instructor! Each time I was feeling angry and upset with myself for not going in. The last time this happened I was going to go to a Tang Soo do class. I had spoken to the instructor on the phone as I had with previous instructors! But Somehome when I got there I got as far as the door and could not go in due to nerves. I was all set to give up when I saw a poster advertising a Kung Fu class in scout hut nearby. I was so excited because I had always wanted to learn Kung fu! I phoned the instructor, but got his Assistant who sounded really friendly, who told me all about it and where they were. I had to phone up again to make sure I was going to the ight place! Somehow I had to make myself go because I was very determined! I arrived early for my first lesson and upon arriving, I met my instructor who was so friendly and I really enjoyed my first class! I have now been training in Kung Fu for over 5 years and love every minute of it. I have been training when I have been ill, and with injuries! Even when I didn't have a car I borrowed my mum's bike and cycled there!

I guess I was lucky that I found such a friendly class that I was comfortable with but you know I'm sure there are people out there who are too shy or either have no time or just lack money to begin studying a Martial Art! In this situation people will learn froom books or videos just like people do when they wantto learn a new language or go on a diet!

 

[moving target]

Books aren't realy a good way to learn MA. I mean how many champion boxers do you know of that got there by only reading books? For that matter how many proficiant practitioners of any sport have become proficiant by reading books? You can learn academic information from books but you can't learn the physical aspects of MA from books very well (if at all). So you could study something like anatomy or kenisiology from a book which could give you a sort of indirect training edge, but nothing substitutes for training. At best I think books can give you a few pointers and teach you a few tricks. Or they can act as a sort of notebook, helping you remember things your teachers have shown you.

If someone's to shy to walk into a school than they need to confront their emotions, there is no effective work around. Maybe going with a freind would help, maybe getting private lessons would help. Bottom line is you have to train with someone some time if you want to be good.

 

[Tony]

Well I guess I was fortunate enough to have face my fears and finally start studying Kung fu in a class! I still look at Martial Arts books to see if there is anything useful I could learn but you're right learning from books is very hard and I am so glad I have an instructor! If i were training myself I don't think I would be as hard as he is on me and the class! So thats why an Instructor is better over self training and books! Obviously I like to go away and practice my techniques! And the only way I can see if they works is through sparring to learn how to use timing, speed, coordination and power!

 

[psi_radar]

Tony,

A book can be a fairly decent guide to learn from if you already have some experience in the arts and can interpret movement from descriptions and static photos. Videos are better for someone starting out, but as you're learning, there's no substitute for real instruction.

As for your reluctance to practice with others better than you, well, get used to it. One of the axioms of martial arts is that there's always someone out there with more skill than you or at the peak of their game. Rather than shying away, use this to your benefit and learn from them. Break down exactly WHY this person is better than you and you'll make some realizations about what it takes to be a good martial artist.

BTW, Please don't take this too harshly, but it is a little difficult to read your posts when you end each sentence with an exclamation mark. IT'S THE PUNCTUATION EQUIVALENT OF ALL-CAPS--it reads like you're screaming all the time.

 

[Tony]

Tony,

Books can be a fairly decent guide to learn from if you already have a fair amount of experience in the arts and can interpret movement from descriptions and static photos. Videos are better for someone starting out, but as you're learning, there's no substitute for real instruction.

As for your reluctance to practice with others better than you, well, get used to it. One of the axioms of martial arts is that there's always someone out there with more skill than you or at the peak of their game. Rather than shying away, use this to your benefit and learn from them. Break down exactly WHY this person is better than you and you'll make some realizations about what it takes to be a good martial artist.

BTW, Please don't take this too harshly, but it is a little difficult to read your posts when you end each sentence with an exclamation mark. IT'S THE PUNCTUATION EQUIVALENT OF ALL-CAPS--it reads like you're screaming all the time.

Hi Psi

Luckily I have managed to make myself train at a good Martial Arts club and I have enjoyed every minute of it except the pain but its fun.
I'm sorry if I have used so many exclamation marks. I guess I'm just trying to emphasise certain points and it was not my intention to appear as though I were shouting. Believe me I am a very quiet and easy going person with no desire for conflict of any kind. Its just this habit I have of putting an exclamation mark sometimes. I seem to do it without thinking about it.

 

[psi_radar]

Hey Tony,

I'm happy you've found a good instructor--that's the key. I hope you'll find MA as enjoyable as I have. This forum is a good source for information.

As for the exclamation marks, really, it's no big deal, I just thought you should know.

Best of luck!