MA widows/widowers

[IcemanSK]

Maybe the topic has been covered, but I'm wondering if you would say your spouse/significant other is an MA widow/widower? For those of us who love MA, we're on the mat all the time....nights, weekends for tourneys etc.

How do you balance training/teaching & having a family life?

 

[terryl965]

It's easy make them all do it and then it is called family time!!!!
Terry

 

[beau_safken]

I think I have lost dates and some time because of my martial arts schedule. But a person that will ***** about an hour or two a day for you to work on yourself is telling you something... "Run away, I will suck you dry"

 

[SAVAGE]

I just go with what terry said, I got my ife involved in Goju...she loves it! At first I was never allowed to discuss my MA with her or talk about it to anyone....she said I was obsessed and that the conversations were boring and I was boring the guests!

Now she cant shut up about Karate....trying to show me moves she has learnt (moves I already know), have I done the right thing...or created a monster!!!

Now I wish she would shut up about Karate!

LOL

 

[Bigshadow]

Maybe the topic has been covered, but I'm wondering if you would say your spouse/significant other is an MA widow/widower? For those of us who love MA, we're on the mat all the time....nights, weekends for tourneys etc.

How do you balance training/teaching & having a family life?

I just balance it. There must always be balance. Now of course, I cannot talk about it or anything. I, like others, get the 3rd degree over talking about it. I think I have heard all the lines. So I just train and I don't talk with anyone about it, just those who are genuinely interested.

 

[IcemanSK]

My wife has known about my MA & boxing pasion since day one. Granted she's very supportive & has learned a lot about what the things I talk about, but it ain't her thing. I know this. It's been my thing for 24+ years. Don't get me wrong, its not a problem. But I don't want it to become a problem. She encourages me & I encourage her to do her things. But mine is much more time consuming. Now that I have my own school, its more so.

 

[bydand]

I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. Before we were even dating, my future wife and I were good friends. I was doing MA and one night she wanted to see what it was all about, so I took her and promptly got injured that night. Her being an Emergency Room RN, I figured that would be the last time she would darken the Dojo door, was I wrong! She signed up the following day (that night she went with me to the ER so she didn't have time.) As soon as I heard that, I knew she was my type of woman! Now 9 years of marrage and 4 kids later we still love the art and are excited about going back to an area that has a great instructor and Dojo. So - short version - Training time is together time for us and has been from the start.

 

[Lisa]

My husband has never done MA and probably never will. But perhaps I shouldn't say that because he shoots in rifle competitions and I swore I never would and now..well.. now I am. Time changes things. Sometimes your want or need to try new things widens and you can get your loved one to try what you love. If your relationship is secure and your spouse/sig other knows of your passion and respects you as a person then there shouldn't be a problem. Just as you should respect their passions. It is part of who you are and who they are and part of what made you fall in love with them in the first place.

 

[still learning]

Hello, Always remember to put you life in proper order.

First and most important....your family always come first. Especially the kids.

2. Work...because it supports your family.

3.Then you can make this time for Marital Arts.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Sometimes the order may change as needed for Tournments, special seminars.

Once you have children...it is your job to raise them! ...you personal life should take a back sit, untill they are grown up.

Everyone should spend as much time as they can with there children...because you are there role models, and kids look up to there parents as GODS.

Are you a good role MODEL? ................time will tell when you see your kids as Adults.....................Aloha

 

[bushidomartialarts]

i'm lucky here. my wife is a brown belt in one art and an orange belt in another. she works at my studio and love the arts. we met in a capoeira class.

still, being sure i give as much energy to the marriage as i do my training and the business is a tussle sometimes. i steal a page from steven covey. when i'm planning my week, i make sure that family/spouse time and other personal goals go on the same list as my training and business needs. every week i look at the roles i play in my life and what i need to contribute to them.

 

[Eternal Beginner]

No, because we train together. It is wonderful to have someone who shares your passion and understands why you want to devote so much time to it. In fact, my whole family trains together so no one feels left out.

 

[Bigshadow]

Hello, Always remember to put you life in proper order.

First and most important....your family always come first. Especially the kids.

2. Work...because it supports your family.

3.Then you can make this time for Marital Arts.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Sometimes the order may change as needed for Tournments, special seminars.

Once you have children...it is your job to raise them! ...you personal life should take a back sit, untill they are grown up.

Everyone should spend as much time as they can with there children...because you are there role models, and kids look up to there parents as GODS.

Are you a good role MODEL? ................time will tell when you see your kids as Adults.....................Aloha

Great post! I agree!

 

[TigerWoman]

Well, I am a Bluegrass music widow as well. Was that before I made my husband a MA widower. Sometimes we go to each other's events, sometimes not as he gets booked in another city. We each are individuals with our own passions. Not that I didn't try to pick up a bass to learn (may still) but have no time with all my interests, including pottery, dog care and training-agility, quilting, rug making etc etc. And did try to get him into TKD but it is not for everyone especially for those starting out with bad backs. So, I guess we got to an equilibrium. I still do exercises and forms outside the RV though while we are at bluegrass festivals. TW

 

[scottcatchot]

I was doing ma when I started dating the lady who became my wife. SHe has always understood and sometimes participates. She is not into it like I am, but it has never been a problem. As long as you have communication and balance in your relationship I don't see where there is a problem. I am also raising my children to have an interest and so it becomes an opportunity for family time as others have also prievously mentioned.

 

[Flatlander]

I also agree with still learning. Family and work before martial arts. But I might add golf in the summer.....