Loyalty

boricuatkd

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Salutations everyone!
Ok. The last few weeks my husband and I have been having a discussion in regards to loyalty. In particular to your school and perhaps to your instructors. In the TKD community, loyalty is one of our tenents of TKD. Alright, here is where I am going with this one. As our little school becomes more recognized within the TKD circuit, we get alot students who have left schools and have come to try us out. The majority of the students stay for the long haul. However, in the last few months we have had students who after training with us for almost a year just up and quit and go somewhere else without even a good bye. Now I am ok if things begin not to work or there's a problem with an instructor or student.But nothing... not a word of explantion.
I am thinking of 2 families in particular. Both families come to us because they left their schools because they felt their children were not getting quality training. As they told us, since their kids were not elites then the instructors just went through the motions. They didin't spend time really teaching them techniques. Now at our school we train each student with same intensity. We find were they excel in and then we work their training around that. Everyone is train with the expectation that they are winners. :) When we evaluate students that we get from other schools we sit down with the parents and discuss how we can help their child prgresss and grow. They had very little success at tournaments as well. After several months of training, the kids began to excel at competitions. I mean really kick some bootie-even against the schools they had come from. (The very schools that felt they were not good enough to compete.:whip1: ) As we continue to train them, take them to competitions, and they continue to do well the old schools and other more recognized schools begin scouting and recruiting them telling them they can do better with them for them to come back. The old instructor of one of the students actually came up and told us how he was so impressed with how we had helped them improved. He actually told us that if he had known that they had that much potential then he would have trained them better. :rolleyes: Anyways, my problem is that needless to say we have lost these families to schools because they "wined and dined" them so to say.
They just left with out a word. We later encounter them at tournaments with their old instructors. ( You know the ones that didn't think they had any potential to begin with.) One dad told us well that they went back because the other school cater to "elite" competitors and special classes for them. In my mind I'm thought- ya but we helped your kids get there. (I know this sounds very petty :waah: but really the instructor didn't even want them until he saw how well they were doing.) My other family I have learned as gone with the same school because the instructor informed them that with him they would be hiigher ranking belts. That we just didn't recognize their kids real talent. Well no, we just know that in the tkd tournament its not uncommon for instructors to take their higher belts and have them compete as lower ranking belts to accumalate wins for the school. I guess what bothers me is that we worked with their kids. Trained them to reach their potentails, encouraged them -made them feel like winners. We worked with before and after practice for no extra charge mind you because we believed in them. And they just turn their backs on us like nothing. I know i sound like I am whining. But what do you all think? Don't get me wrong, I am happy for them really am. I was just taught that you should have some measure of loyalty to people who have believed in you. I don't know.. maybe I am wrong to think that.
 

tshadowchaser

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I have seen this happen to often and my thought if printed ( about the other instructos and the parents) would most likely get me a vacation from his forum. Lets just say i disagree with what both did.
Unfortunatly it happens and seems to happen a lot in TKD.
I must ask did these "elite' kids get a nice promotin when they went back?
 

Sam

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yikes. I don't really have the knowledge or experience to say anything other than no one in the whoole world will blame you for feeling frusterated and upset at this. The kids are losing in the long run, and it isn't their fault, its the parents.

I hope you dont have to experience any more of this.
 

Sarah

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Its sad really...as it seems they (the parents) were after the glory...or could be that they just felt their kids would gain more from the other school.

Either way it is sad how it ended, they could have at least talked to you about it.

I believe in loyalty to a point, I think it is fantastic to be faithful to your school and your instructor, but at the end of the day it is each individual's journey and we have to do whats right for us.

Good luck with your other students!
 
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boricuatkd

boricuatkd

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tshadowchaser said:
I have seen this happen to often and my thought if printed ( about the other instructos and the parents) would most likely get me a vacation from his forum. Lets just say i disagree with what both did.
Unfortunatly it happens and seems to happen a lot in TKD.
I must ask did these "elite' kids get a nice promotin when they went back?

No... They were red belts when they left us and they are still red belts now. The other two are still green belts. I did have one that left before these and he left us as an orange belt and was tested/promoted 4 times in two months. Last time I saw him he informed he would testing for his black belt. Yet at the last tournament he was not only competing as a green belt but he was also competing against 10 year old and he's 14. Go figure!:rolleyes:
 

Kacey

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There was another discussion recently about "black belt dads", generally known as soccer parents. Unfortunately, in the long run, it is the kids who will pay... but there is only so much you as an instructor can do, especially with younger students who go wherever their parents take them. Hopefully, the kids will know, at some level, that they learned the skills they needed to be taken into the 'elite' classes from your school, and, when the opportunity arises, will come back. If not, just remember that you did what was right, and for the right reasons, even if other people chose not to.
 

Marginal

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boricuatkd said:
Anyways, my problem is that needless to say we have lost these families to schools because they "wined and dined" them so to say
I've heard of that happening before. Doesn't just hit loyalty IMO, I'd have a hard time respecting someone with so little integrity to actively headhunt students just to make themselves look better. Seems to be just tossing on perfume to cover the stink of incompetant instruction. No different than one instructor who kept having his students turn up at tournaments wearing hard soccer style shin guards. (Even going so far as to disguise them as soft shin guards etc.)
 

jdinca

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boricuatkd said:
No... They were red belts when they left us and they are still red belts now. The other two are still green belts. I did have one that left before these and he left us as an orange belt and was tested/promoted 4 times in two months. Last time I saw him he informed he would testing for his black belt. Yet at the last tournament he was not only competing as a green belt but he was also competing against 10 year old and he's 14. Go figure!:rolleyes:

They were after the belt, not the meaning behind the belt. Without knowing both sides, it sounds like they've been sucked back into a McDojo.
 

Bob Hubbard

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When the wooing stops, and the fast rank doesn't happen fast enough, they'll be the ones to regret it. Or, to look for yet another school to stroke their egos. There's a serious lack of honor in the arts today sadly. This is just a small part of it.
 

Jonathan Randall

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Narcissism is endemic in our society, unfortunately, and it often (more often than not, actually) crosses over into martial arts practice. The parents are doing their children a real disservice, IMO, by teaching them that people are simply a means to an end.

No, you are not whining, you are talking about something that disturbed you, which, I believe, is part of this forum's reason for existence. I'm sorry that you were used in this way.
 
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boricuatkd

boricuatkd

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The MMA kid! said:
what school was it that offers these "Elite" classes? was it your neighbors around the corner?

MMA kid - I am not trying to be mean or anything but are you aware what classifies a school as "Elite"? Because to be honest the school "around the corner from us" is not an elite school. - you know the one that moved into our mall claiming they were trying to put us out of business. The very school who today and many other days through out the months since they have moved in are constantly sending their parents to check out our school to "scope out" what we are doing, how we are training and how many students are in our classes. ( I can safely state that because the parents that came in today actually told us that to our face.- That he asked them to come down to see what we were doing.)

To date that I know of we have not lost students to him. Actually let me back track we did lose 2 yellow before about a year ago because we were not willing to test their children at the same time regardless of their progress and because they felt our workouts were to hard. Other than that I don't know and I really don't care.

I know we have a quality school. Our tournament record proves that. Our parent support proves that and that is all that matters to me. We give our students good instruction and show them that they all have potential to be winners. I can't help but think that you are making this comment in the attempt to escalate some problem between us.

Now can we get back to the original thread. about loyalty. If you wish to continu this discussion feel to send me a private message.

If I offend anybody please it is not my intention.
 

bluemtn

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A lot of schools suffer from that. Around here, I've mostly seen it due to other sports (one family was taking 3 other sports, and wanted MA to fill in a time gap). From what I've seen of your posts (and Terry's), you are knowledgable, and what happens to the kids is not your doing. A number of parents like to "live" their lives through their kids. I've been to competitions and have seen this too often. Either they carry around a bad attitude about others, or push the kids too hard.
 
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