I train my cat

[Pau Diaz]

I own a cat called Emil. I spar with him, tapping the front of his face lightly with my fingers so that he blocks my blows. I also tap the sides of it so as to provoke him gradually to fury. He was neutered last year and as such, his energy levels are lower than they were when he was whole.

I must keep his reflexes in check and his ability to express anger strong. He is more vulnerable to injury in a fight with another cat or animal now that his adrenal glands no longer have the support of his testes to provide additional stamina.

 

[Steve]

What your cat needs is cardio. Put a leash on him and take him out for some interval training.

 

[Jenna]

I trained my pet for years. I put my heart and soul, my blood and sweat into his conditioning and tweaking his reflexes. A baby shark called Sharky he was -though that was in the days before owning pet sharks was outlawed 'n' stuff. I kept him in the toilet bowl where I had him disciplined specifically to bite intruders arses. Of course one night we were out when the flat got broken into. I do not know quite what happened though I suspect Sharky capitulated - or perhaps the intruders knew that seal meat was his achilles fin. Nevertheless, Sharky brought a great dishonour to our family because he oversaw the stealing of our family collection of Neil young CDs and my treasured Gucci replica watch off of ebay. Such dishonour wrought at the dorsal of my own student I could not abide. My only recourse was... A final flushing. Never again shall he darken my toilet bowl. Never again shall I take a shark as my apprenticed. I would heartily advise you to do the same.

 

[Steve]

Sharks are notoriously difficult to train. They're strong willed and fiercely independent.

 

[Jenna]

Sharks are notoriously difficult to train. They're strong willed and fiercely independent.

I do not wish to discuss shark martial artists Steve. Sharks will never make true martial artists. Anyway I have moved on. My menagerie now consists of a drunken monkey whom I am teaching, um... JuDo, a mantis whom I am teaching Aikido, and a crane whom I am teaching Muay Thai. My ninja cow resigned her belt claiming she had udder things to do.

 

[MA-Caver]

JuDo, a mantis whom I am teaching Aikido,

Make sure your mantis is a young-un because they gotta start soon as possible... kinda like at this age...

 

[mook jong man]

You keep antagonizing him like that and one day he's going to snap and rip half your face off , I only hope it ends up on funniest home videos so we can all see it.

 

[Cyriacus]

My Cat does some BJJ-esque stuff. From using his Legs to trap my Hand whilst his front Paws attack.
Its actually pretty fun

 

[Buka]

Although not really applicable in this case, but true nonetheless, Mark Twain said, "A man who picks up a cat by the tail learns a lesson he can learn in no other way."
I've had serious dogs all my life. They aren't even afraid of bears. But they be "ascared" of cats. They be smart dogs.

 

[Big Don]

I'd like to quote Eddie Murphy:

Men are dogs, this is true.
But, women are cats, sneaky mother *******cats

 

[Josh Oakley]

At first I had a pet bear that I trained martial arts. After a while he started gaining massive amounts of strength. Eventually, he was stong enough to defeat me, and from that point he became MY teacher. However the bear grew to be pompous. He claimed he could beat me 100 times out of 100. I suggested he would be less effective with swords. His pomposity was his undoing. Best instructor I ever ate.

 

[ralphmcpherson]

My Cat does some BJJ-esque stuff. From using his Legs to trap my Hand whilst his front Paws attack.
Its actually pretty fun

My dog is a 3rd dan in hapkido

 

[Tez3]

The OP is mistaken if he thinks he owns the cat, all cat people know the cats own us!

 

[Blade96]

The OP is mistaken if he thinks he owns the cat, all cat people know the cats own us!

Right on.

 

[ralphmcpherson]

dogs have masters, cats have slaves.

 

[Blade96]

I own a cat called Emil. I spar with him, tapping the front of his face lightly with my fingers so that he blocks my blows. I also tap the sides of it so as to provoke him gradually to fury. He was neutered last year and as such, his energy levels are lower than they were when he was whole.

I must keep his reflexes in check and his ability to express anger strong. He is more vulnerable to injury in a fight with another cat or animal now that his adrenal glands no longer have the support of his testes to provide additional stamina.

sorry to put salt in your orange juice, but your cat has better reflexes than you.

and neutered cats can fight just as well as whole toms.

 

[MA-Caver]

sorry to put salt in your orange juice, but your cat has better reflexes than you.

and neutered cats can fight just as well as whole toms.

I dunno, a friend had a freshly neutered cat and there was a noticeable slight slowing of the reflexes and I'm sure that the lack of testosterone or at least diminished they're not going to be such bad asses anymore.

dogs have masters, cats have slaves.

I don't believe in submitting to ANY animal (human or otherwise) but I will acknowledge superiority in some things thus ergo...

Can't afford to lower one's self down to slave because otherwise we'll be treating cats like ... this.

 

[Blade96]

I dunno, a friend had a freshly neutered cat and there was a noticeable slight slowing of the reflexes and I'm sure that the lack of testosterone or at least diminished they're not going to be such bad asses anymore.

You obviously hadn't met my first cat Fluffy. He was such a badass even grown humans and german shepherds were scared of him. And yes he was neutered.

Maybe the slight slow reflexes were cause he had just had the operation and needed some recovery time?

 

[iTz BoT]

Bet he does a good neko dachi

 

[Blade96]

hehe.

He also does a great Cata. (kata)