Im an advanced belt and my freind is lower ranking but to par with me in his sparring we were sparring doing a drill with low visibility (lights out) he kicked me hard spinning me i spun into a back fist hit him and hit him two more time I slightly chipped his tooth and gave him a bloody lip I know im in the wrong I think hes mad at me and idk what to do i apologized and texted apologizing idk what to do to fix it any advice I feel horrible for reference im the blue belt and hes the orange belt.
Hurting people
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Prince_Alarming74 10
Senior Master
This will happen sooner or later if you're hitting each other hard enough, don't sweat it. But maybe you could make some sort of nice gesture, like buying him a cake?
philwhite
Green Belt
First off instructors and students need to be very clear about level of force. You are practicing. Its not a real fight. No one needs CTE or broken parts. Sessions like that should be very controlled to limit injury.
Second, you need to control your emotions and not let the situation escalate. This is how light sparring/training can become an all out fight.
The spin backfist is also often a double edge sword. A lot of people throw it without looking which is a recipe for disaster. Uncontrolled, its a stupid move for practice.
Maybe your friend was wrong to kick hard. But you shouldn't retaliate. This is practice, not fight day. Dental work is expensive. If you are hitting each other in low light why isn't your friend wearing a mouth guard?
Second, you need to control your emotions and not let the situation escalate. This is how light sparring/training can become an all out fight.
The spin backfist is also often a double edge sword. A lot of people throw it without looking which is a recipe for disaster. Uncontrolled, its a stupid move for practice.
Maybe your friend was wrong to kick hard. But you shouldn't retaliate. This is practice, not fight day. Dental work is expensive. If you are hitting each other in low light why isn't your friend wearing a mouth guard?
Simfers137 44
Blue Belt
Sometimes sparring gets away from you, especially when you add the stressor of low visibility. He shouldn't have kicked you hard, you shouldn't have backfisted him hard. You both need to learn from it.
In more concrete terms, I agree with Alarming that a nice gesture would be, well, nice, as an act of contrition. As would be paying at least some of the dental work that'll be needed.
And give him a bit of time, he just got his face busted up a bit and probably needs to decompress a little.
In more concrete terms, I agree with Alarming that a nice gesture would be, well, nice, as an act of contrition. As would be paying at least some of the dental work that'll be needed.
And give him a bit of time, he just got his face busted up a bit and probably needs to decompress a little.
Prince_Alarming74 10
Senior Master
Also, I second philwhite's point about wearing a mouthguard. Mouthguards and groin boxes save a lot of pain and suffering.
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First off, see the periods above? Those are my gift to you.... please use them when you type. If you run out, I will get you some more. It makes reading and understanding what you say much easier. (they don't even have to be grammatically correct.... any time you pause to say something new, put any kind of punctuation there and you will increase the readability of your post)
Now, to the point.... Never give out what you are not willing to take. If I hit you this hard.... I should be willing to take a punch this hard. It works both directions.... if someone hits me this hard, I hit them back this hard. This means I respect other people, that may not want to hit as hard as me... and I expect others to match my output as well.
We had a 3rd dan black belt join our karate class. She loved to compete kumite in as many tournaments as she could. Our dojo had implemented a no face contact rule after some broken cheek bones, bloody lips and loose teeth.... This gal would get in a low stance, with her hands down, and wait till you rushed in.... she was surprisingly good at leaning back reverse round house and hook kicks to the head. I was brown belt at the time when we sparred. I saw her go into her low stance, hands down and knew what she wanted. I wanted to test my speed, I stepped in with a jab to her face.... I got there in plenty of time, threw the jab on target, but pulled it so I did not make contact to her face per our rules.... her hook kick landed on the side of my head, and knocked me completely off balance. I pointed out that she had not respected my jab to her face, while she was on one foot. She said that since she did not feel anything, she did not have to respect it, thus her head kick was good. Sure.... she went into the same stance.... to took the same bait, stepped in with my jab, again I got there in time, while she was on one foot starting her kick... but instead of hitting her face (against the rules) I hit her shoulder with my jab, just enough to make her put her foot down (much softer than her kick had been). As her foot went down, I threw a right to her face, pulled it to comply with the rules, but gave a loud kiai to make the point. She then started yelling at me about how uncontrolled I was, just relying on strength to bully her around. She went on for almost 5 minutes yelling and screaming at me. I apologized.... but from that moment on, when I sparred with her... I stayed back, never took her bait... I forced her to come to me and all I would do was evade and keep distance. She would tell me and everyone else after class how terrible it was to spar with me, because I made it so boring, that she avoided me to spar other people. This worked for me.... as I did not have to deal with her very much.
Sometimes, you just have to adjust. Only give what you are willing to take. Respect that not everyone is will to take the same as you.... lower your output to match theirs. You will find people that give more than they want to take.... find ways to avoid them (I got great training and practice with my footwork keeping distance from her.... that I continue to rely on today) or just change the game.
Mistakes will happen. We are training to hurt people. Own up to your mistakes, apologize and move on. You will be on the receiving end soon enough.... remember to give them the same break for their mistake as you wanted for yours.
Prince_Alarming74 10
Senior Master
For bonus points, the cake should be in the shape of a chipped tooth
Prince_Alarming74 10
Senior Master
Seems more feasible and will likely make for a better cake. The sad reality is that a lot of fancy shaped cakes are actually just a sad lump of bread hidden inside tens of inches of fondant
punisher73
Senior Master
I would say that both of you are too low a rank for that type of sparring without a LOT more supervision and safety gear. The person at fault is the instructor for putting you guys into that situation.
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- #13
he had a mouth gaurd but spit it at some point somehow
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- #14
his emotions and mine were in check neither were mad or upset with the other. I do agree with you that a spinning backfist was dumb I wasn`t thinking when I threw it how momentum adds so much more power. Luckily he doesn`t need any dental work. He had a mouth guard in but it came out at some point.
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- #15
He did it just came out and I hadn`t realized.
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- #16
I love this
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- #17
we were wearing gloves and mouth guards his just fell out and I didn`t realize.
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- #18
We had plenty of gear on head gear, mouth guards, hand gear, and foot gear and we had plenty supervision but things get out of hand quickly sometimes. Just my opinion on the supervision
Was there an idea with this or was it to cut electricity bills?
Let me guess - the first strike made him spit out hte mouth guard, then you got an opening to finish him off guard! Seems tactically correct!
I think **** happens in sparring. It can happen to anyon. Next time its your turn, then your even.
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