How to avoid the Flab Food in Fat City!

R

RCastillo

Guest
• You tell the waiter you're in the mood for finger food, and he brings you chicken fingers.

• Most of the menu specials look like stuff you've seen bobbing around during the Will It Float? segment on David Letterman.

• There's a machine by the front door you can stick your finger in to check your blood pressure on the way out.

• A Hefty Bag is a description of the women sitting at the counter.

• The place has two kinds of to-go bag: doggie bag and body bag.

• Management pays EMS to keep a van in the parking lot in case somebody needs a quick after-lunch heart transplant.

• You order a light dessert like Jell-O, and the waitress says, "I thought that was for wrestlin'."

• The clientele has been complaining about the split pea soup because the peas are too small when you cut them in half.

• When you stop at a convenience store and ask directions, the man says, "Hang a left when you get to the fat guys."

• When you holler, "Hey, Tiny," three guys at the counter try to turn around simultaneously but run into one another.

• You can rent a seat-belt extender to keep from falling off your counter seat.

• Everybody on one side of the room rushes to the other side, and the pies slide out of the case and onto the floor.

• Instead of smoking and no smoking, seating areas are marked "load" and "no load."

• On All U Can Eat night, the fire department's seating capacity drops from 250 to 65.

• You can't get a T-shirt advertising the place any smaller than a double X.

• You ask for a drink, and the waiter just hands you the bottle.

• Velveeta is listed on the menu as a vegetable.

• Your car is safe in the parking lot, but some fat guy keeps trying to drive off in the dessert cart.

Borrowed from the Austin American Statesman Newspaper!
 
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