Training stories...

Bob Hubbard

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Stupid Martial Arts Accidents/Embarrassing Moments
This section taken from the responses on the rec.martial-arts newsgroup. No posts have been changed other than to make them anonymous.


Oh, there are soooo many.... But this time I'll just go with the time that I split my gi in front of the class. I tried to keep on doing the form so the tear just propagated... Mercifully the instructor allowed me to stop once the parents started smirking.

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When I was about 12 I threw a guy in judo randori and his pants came right off as he when over my shoulder.. I went right into matwork and couldn't figure out why everyone was laughing. Until I looked up, or down, or I guess it was sideways. I gave a little yelp which brought the house down. I was about twice as embarassed as he was.

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Ah, so many to choose from. Here's one that was not only embarrassing, but quite frightening as it happened. . .
A friend and I assisted our Sensei with several demonstrations, and we had worked out a choreographed "fight" between Bo and Tonfa. I had the Bo. For a demonstration at a public school, my Sensei gave me his special competition Bo (I forget why). Shortly after we began the demo, my friend struck a particularly strong blow with the Tonfa, and snapped my Bo in half.

Uh-oh.

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of Sensei: he did *not* look happy. The other demonstrators stood there with their mouths hanging open. This was the frightening part, in case you're wondering. The kids watching the demo loved it, of course.

My friend and I had practised this routine endlessly, and managed to continue, making it look like this was *meant* to happen. I had to improvise a bit, of course, but it was working out great. Until I blocked another strike that snapped the end off one of my mini-Bo's and sent it flying across the gymnasium. It bounced off the wall beside Sensei.

Uuuh-oh.

We pressed on. A few moments later . . . another piece of Bo flew across the room. Yep, it was from the other half. Luckily, we were near the end of the routine, so I took my friend to the floor and finished him off by pummeling him with my remaining pieces of firewood.

I'm so glad that I study a traditional Japanese karate. By bowing really, really low, I didn't have to look Sensei in the eye as I passed him the sorry remains of his lovely former-Bo. . .

And then there's the other demonstration in a public shopping mall, when I hooked my friend's tonfa out of his hand and sent it sailing across the Food Court and straight towards the glass case of coffee beans in The Second Cup . . . but that's another story.


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Ever been in a demonstration? Most of my bad moments happened in demonstrations. Early in my training we were doing a demo for a cub scout group. We were only part of the evening's entertainment (I hate demos). We came on after the magician and before the "Boom-Bah" band. For those who do not live in Pennsylvania, a "Boom-Bah" is a kind of rhythm instrument invented by a demented musician on PCP as revenge against the uncaring music industry. It is a stick with tambourines, bells, and cymbols mounted on it, and it is played (mostly) by banging it against the ground. It is every bit as silly as it sounds. We were seated on the floor, and there were about 30 of these monstrosities leaning against the wall behind us. (You are there already, aren't you?)Right. I demonstrated a form, (nicely, I might add), bowed to the crowd, returned to my seat, and in sitting down I lost my balance, knocking over all of the Boom-Bahs. I believe that the noise registered on seismographs all around the world. Truly one of my very best days.

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Doing a staff form in a Chinatown demo several years ago, I slammed the staff down and watched half of it sail up and over my head and clatter to the ground somewhere behind me. Flustered and adrenalized, I reached out and took another staff from a student, whacking him in the face with the staff as I turned back to the audience. I was so psyched, I didn't notice as he retreated behind the curtain to find out if his nose was broken.

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I was demonstrating kendo kata for a chinese cultural association a few years ago. We were using steel swords. My partner moved into waki-gamae, which is the position with the sword held low and behind you. We were in very tight quarters, so as a result he stuck the point of the sword into the wall behind him. There was this slightly puzzled look on his face, then a visible effort as he yanked the sword out of the wall to continue the kata.

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When I tested for sankyu. I was asked to demonstrate hani-goshi, and executed a perfect throw tossing my uke right into the center of the aluminum table being used by the judges and completely demolishing it.
Their response: "Good technique. Poor control." :)


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When I was practicing Kendo, we used to have fights at the end of the class. Being in the south of France in summer, you can imagine how much we were sweating under the Men (helmet in Kendo). I too was sweating pretty hard, and some was running down my nose. .. Of course, no way I could take the men off, wipe my face and put it back on... so I slipt my lil finger through the grid and started scratching my face as much as I could... boy, what a relieve... That's when the sensei called me to fight... Problem was, by then, my finger was stuck in the grid, so here I am, in the center of the mat, one hand holding the shinai in a desperate guard, shaking frenetically the other hand to get this finger unstuck.... The other guy did not show one ounce of patience and of course *charged*, I got wacked on the head a couple of time and trust me, I managed to get this damm finger out of the helmet really fast after that...almost broke it actually, and was really embarassed when the laughters in the dojo started to cover the sound of our Kiais...

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Working on elbow strikes on a heavy bag, I almost knocked myself out with the palm of my hand. The worst part wasn't the pain... it was explaining the busted lip to friends.

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I remember when I was sparing with a friend of mine I suddenly did a knife hand block right out of a form without even thinking. I was so pleased with my self (or suprised or something) that I just kind of stood there and grinned and then ate fist. I would have found it funnier at the time if it didn't hurt so much

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At one of my first tournaments I was really pumped about sparring. Got into the ring, head judge said to begin, I charged in with a beautiful side kick to the head. Unfortunately I put a little too much into it and instead lifted my entire body off of the ground, landing clean on my left hip and sliding into my opponent, knocking us both into the head judge and knocking him over as well. Needless to say I got a stern warning about fighting under control.

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Do they do "Cup Checks"? I had a few students who didn't wear a cup, thinking it was "cool". Needless to say, after scoop-kicking everyone in the class, they decided "cool" ranked somewhere below breathing normally.

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In one of my testings, a couple of my classmates were doing one-step sparring techniques. One of them accidently (I think) kicked the other soundly in the groin with a snap kick. The poor fellow just stood up, put his hand up, turned around, then COLLAPSED. It was the funniest thing I had ever seen because of the timing...

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About a year after receiving my Black belt, I was preparing to perform Kata in a tournament. When my name was called by the head judge, I turned around, adjusted my uniform, and ran across the gymnasium to stand and give my presentation of the kata. While running, I realized that I had not tied my gi pants tight enough and as I neared the judges, they began to slowly work their way down my hips. By the time I reached the head judge, I was forced to request a moment for adjustment of my uniform as the pants had fallen down to about mid-thigh. Thankfully, a fellow Black Belt came out to hold my top up while I retied the pants. I didn't score too well on the kata due to the judges' eyes being shut while stifling their laughter. I did redeem myself later in the day, however, by winning the Kumite Grand Championship.

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This happened about a month ago - we had a class which consisted solely of three black belts and the Instructor. We were lined up so that we took turns wheel-kicking a pad held by the Instructor. I was at the back of the line, and the guy in front of me was doing a half-speed low wheel-kick in the line to try to perfect his technique before he kicked the pad. He was concentrating so hard that he didn't see where his foot was headed, and kicked the (female) student in front of him squarely in the butt. I was laughing so hard, I had to pretend to turn around and adjust my uniform - fortunately when I turned back, the Instructor (and the other two students) were cracking up too; he said it was a really good thing there were no yellow belts there that day to witness it.

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About after a week at the school I train at now, I did some light sparring with another student, a beginner as well though he'd been there longer than I. We're going along fine, doing basic techniques. I see him chamber a rear-leg roundhouse...and for some strange reason, I think he's going for my head, not realizing he doesn't have the flexibility. So, I ducked...right into the kick, effectively blocking it with my face. Luckily it was light sparring, and all I did was get my lips busted. Dopey me.

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In a pattern competition, ~2 years ago, I mannaged to punch myself 5 cm abowe my right eye. How this happened - well It's not always easy to do a upward elbow strike- when your focused on something completly different :) Well, I managed to finish ..... Last!

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I had two brothers (8 and 9 years old) sparring in class, with everyone else sitting around the ring. The younger one threw a roundhouse kick to the groin, and we all heard this incredibly loud POP! that echoed in the room. Broke his own brothers cup. My eyes still water thinking about it.


[Ed. note: OW!]


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A few years ago my instructor was demonstrating some hanbo (short staff) techniques with a fukaro (sp?) shinai. For those of you that don't know, this type of shinai is very flexible. Anyway, he was showing us a techniques that involved shifting to one side to avoid a knife strike while making an upwards strike to the groin. Needless to say, the shinai flexed a little more than he thought it would, catching his uke square in the gonads. Everyone laughs about it now, including the gentleman that got nailed, but I can still remember the surprised look on his face..

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I remember once in practice a particularily lanky fellow managed to kick himself in the groin. I still haven't figureed out what happened, I was looked away for a second and then he was on the floor. I imagine that he threw a knee and his heel went a little high. I think he was more embarassed than anything else.

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My sensei is 62 and just had both knees replaced 6 months ago. He's really like a new man, and he MOVES again, quickly for a big guy. So one day, (since I am the senior assistant he demonstrates techniques on me) he's showing a punch roll (don't ask, it can't be explained in text) that is followed by a shoulder bar and then a knee to the face. Well, he's not quite used to the new knees yet and thier actually very lightweight. So as I'm going down, I feel this WHAM on the right cheekbone that is LITERALLY like being hit with a hammer. Turns out, his new knees are titanium and some polymer plastic and HARD AS HELL. Almost knocked me out.

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once, as a mid-level kyu student in karate, i was holding a shinai hori- zontally for a brown belt to run and leap over. my grip was light, and as he crossed over, his toe caught the shinai, knocked it free, and as he began to land, it tumbled into a vertical orientation, whereupon he proceeded to impale himself in the jewels..|:O..i never knew how deadly a shinai could be...i always hold with both hands now. he's okay, but he won't let me forget it..;)

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Well, I once did a side kick in sparring when I wasn't very experienced, so I sort of "hopped" round to twist my hips over, taking the weight off my feet. Instead of flexing the foot I was kicking with I flexed the foot I was landing on (now THAT's malcoordination for you) and sprained my ankle. I went down on the floor and the sifu started to reprimand my sparring partner (who was considerably senior to me). Then I had to explain what had happened. Their laughter haunts me still...

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A friend of mine went to a karate tournament and was watching a men's senior belt kata division. One of the competitors began his kata, which involved motions done with dynamic tension (I believe the kata was Nisei shi sho). About five moves into the kata, the competitor just passed out! He hadn't been breathing properly during his kata and just keeled over. He was fine after a couple of minutes.

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One time I was a bit late rushing to a training session. I ran out into the garden and quickly grabbed my karategi. I made the class ok...but I managed to train for 10-15 mins with a white plastic clothes peg attached to the top-half of my karategi! My sensei - who spotted it- thought it was hilarious - luckily!

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have one for you....During one class, Sensei called one of the senior students up to help demonstrate the next technique. Now this guy is know to be...shall we say miserly....so his gi was way past its prime and had shrunk until it was really too small for him. Sensei starts to demonstrate the technique which ended in a throw. I am so intent on the technique that at first I don't really notice anything except what Sensei is doing. But suddently, I realize that my husband who was sitting next to me is shaking so hard from laughter that he is about to fall over. I watched again and realized that the senior student's gi had slipped down on his hips so far that he was pretty much mooning us every time he was thrown. Pretty soon, the whole class was basically in tears from trying to hold in the laughing. I don't really know how Sensei kept a straight face! Anyway, needless to say, Sensei stongly recommended to him after class that he purchase a new gi.....

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in a bar fight I watched someone apply Ude-osai, god I'm mangling the spelling today, or your common wrist lock from a lapel grab. I guess the guys snapped it on good, because when the person droped to his knees to avoid the lock he actually bouced his head off the floor knocking himself out. Very neat technique.

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I had a student, nick-named himself "Freight Train" Frank. Well, as most of the younger students liked to do before class, he would do running kicks to our 200lbs punching bad. One day, as I sat with my instructor in the studio office, we watched him cross the room, and we figured what was about to happen. He ran full speed across the room, put his head down, and proceded to ram the bag with the top of his head. The bad swung, the frame it was attached to pulled itself from the floor, and the whole thing went through the wall into the beauty supply store next door. We got bigger bolts for the frame that night. Oh yeah, Frank was fine. Just stood there and almost soiled his Gi, with the damage he caused and all.

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A few eons back, we were practising the first kendo kata. The attacker cuts men (the top of the head) and the defender steps back, avoiding the cut, which swishes almost to the floor. I was defending, and I jumped back more than stepped. A certain sensitive part of my anatomy swung up as my opponent's sword came down. The downswing met the upswing, so to speak, and I was on the floor. Luckily, we were using shinai. This ties in to the underwear thread, because ever since then I've worn briefs under my hakama to prevent another painful incident.

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The stupidest accident I've had was when I was a red belt in Taekwondo. I had seen a 2nd dan black belt hold a pine board in his left hand and neat as you please, he broke it in half with a right hand shuto. One day while practicing alone I decided to see if I could do the same thing. I was completely successful, but the top half of the board came off and flew right up and smacked me between the eyes, opening a fair sized gash, and leaving me with a nice goose egg. To add insult to injury, both of my eyes were blackened.
 
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This reminds me of something in class I'd forgotten about. A small third dan (maybe he was a second dan then) was going to do a jumping roundhouse kick to a board held at head height of a tall second dan. The kicker tried once and kicked an inch or two too high on the board. He tried again and this time kicked an inch or two too low. Finally he jumped again, kicked right in the center and- the middle piece of the board went flat back against the holder's nose while he was left still holding the top and bottom pieces! "Punch out at the perforation!"

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One of my instructors once, during a 'anything can and will happen' talk, told us about a particular grappling match in which he went twice attempted a cross body arm bar (jugi gatame?). The first time the sweat on the guys armmade him lose his grip as he was thrusting his feet into position and he went flying back about 8 feet or so. Later in the match he had the same opportunity, grabbed the arm and pulled, lost his grip and proceed to drive his finger up his own nose - which promptly began to gush blood everywhere.

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We were doing a show for the Ontario Winter Games a few years ago. The opening ceremonies was being broadcast live on local television stations. One of our BBs was doing a break of two concrete slabs with his head. Unfortuantely, instead of htting with his forehead he hit with his face. He broke his nose and began to bleed all over the stage as the cameras did a close-up. Gotta love live TV :->

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I did something similar, I'm sorry to say. While still a white belt, I was throwing my (male) partner with ouchi gari (major inner reaping throw), but lost my balance while sweeping his leg. He fell on his back, legs spread, and _I_ fell forward between them, landing on his cup with my knee... you bet it cracked! The poor guy said he saw his life flash before his eyes. He was a good sport about the accident though (once the pain wore off), and proudly showed his cracked cup to people for about a month afterwards. My nickname for about a year in the dojo was "The Headhunter".

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I've witnessed a woman break her own nose with a front kick above her head during a demo at a seminar. I almost wet my pants I was laughing so hard. Afterwards I heard her tell her instructor, "You didn't say _that_ could happen!"

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The stupidest move ever performed in a tournament I was an orange belt at the time and had won quite a few tournaments. As a result, my ego was inflated much more than it should have been. I was fighting this guy frm Northern Karate in Toronto who was able to read people better than anybody I had every seen. He could predict the moves of someone so well that he had ample time to perform any block or whatever, the guy was phenomenal. Anyways, I was fighting in the final match against him and was down 2-0 (fights go to 3). I knew that I had no chance to best this guy, basics were not working so I decided to try something that had worked quite well in the dojo. I got some distance between us and performed a front roll, intending to come up into a jumping side kick (hey, it worked the one other time I tried it). Unfortunately, the guy did not step back but side stepped and placed his foot in my chest as I was starting to come up out of my roll. There I was back flat on the floor, foot in chest, and the guy grinning at me. I felt like a fool. What was worse is there was a girl from Northern, video taping the match. After that match I disappeared REAL quick. You know, have not tried that since.

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I was competing at a karate tournament last summer; for the first time my girlfriend, who is fairly apathetic about my budo madness, came along to videotape my matches. I really wanted to impress her so I had trained my *** off. When it came time to fight, I came up against one of these incredibly irritating asses who fights with his leg cocked up, jumping around on one foot. He was quick though, and caught me with his mae-geri front kick twice. Knocked me on my *** because my fighting stance at that time was very square and aggressive. Needless to say, I lost the match because my shots were deemed excessive contact (joke!). Sitting up in the bleachers, I was hoping that the guy would go on to win so that I didn't look like I was eliminated by some nobody. Up there, sitting beside Ange, I watched only half-interested until buddy came up. As we watched, he attacked with a penetrating front kick. The opponent side stepped and buddy went sprawling to the floor, hit his head on the floor, and knocked himself out. I got eliminated by someone who knocked himself out. As we walked out of there, the only thing more injured than his bald head was my rapidly deflating ego.

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This one reminds of a student in our dojo. He was a yellow or oragne belt (don't remember) he had pick up a 3-sectional staff somewhere and was trying to figure out how to swing it. Nobbody in the dojo really knew how to use them very well so he was experimenting on his own in the middle of the dojo. Anyways, as he was swinging it on section swung up and struck him in the back of the head, knocking him out. After we brought him back to consciousness and dtermined that he was ok we left. Not 10 minutes later there he was again, face flat on the floor. He had knocked himself out again with the staff. Twice, in less than 30 minutes. This time we took him to the hospital tocheck for a concussion, luckily he did not have one.

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It was after class at night in the parking lot and I was playing with a heavy five foot staff, making passes over my head and behind my back as I turned in front of my friends.On end of the staff caught the ground as I was twirling away and it messed up my rotation but the speed of the staff caused it bounce up to meet my face in a lovely smaking sound! It was sort of dark but The blood spray hit one of my buddys about six feet away . Well they stiched my lip back to my face , about a half inch was hanging down in front of my mouth. That was a long night , ten stiches in my lip , lucky I have always worn a mustache, hides the scar real good

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I was doing a drill with one of the girls in my class where you were supposed to inside crescent kick a target hand of your partener. anyway, i don't know what the hell she was thinking but her 'arc' for the crescent ended up straight up between my legs...needless to say i collapsed in a big heap and didn't move for a little while.

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Yes, an amazing amount of those ended up with people being nailed in the groin. Well, it's funny if it happens to someone else...

Kinda like standing in class watching someone else get mangled in a lock, and laughing and groaning at the same time while watching them grimace in pain...
 
The first story in Part 2 was me!!! :rolleyes:

Cthulhu
dead serious...didn't remember that post until I read it. Very embarrassed.
 
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Ow.....my sides hurt.....too much laughing...:D
 
Yeah, sure...laugh at my pain.

Man...that was years ago. If I remember correctly, I made that post several years ago and the incident in question occurred several years before that.

I feel so old.

:moon:

Cthulhu
 
Hmmm....pants go down, but I didn't see a grappling art on your profile.....:rofl:
 
Dunno if we're on the same page here. The post that was from me is the first one under Pt. 2 (your 2nd listing of stories). It's the one where I ducked right into a roundhouse kick, catching it in the kisser.

I've never had my gi pants pop off (THANKFULLY). However, at one point, we had three sisters in the class, ages ranging from 15 to 20. Of course, one day when it's just me, the instructor, and the three girls is when my gi pants decide to split down the middle and also partway down one leg. And I didn't know. Everybody else thought it was pretty funny. Me, I had to endure the rest of class like that, plus get to my car in the gym parking lot.

Cthulhu
 
Was refering to the mooner smilie my friend. :) Not where you "Block wif head" ...a favorite move of mine, I must add... :D

I always make sure to wear matching underwear when I train...this way, pants split, let chance of noticing... :)
 
Heh...the tear was so bad, my leg was showing. Matching underwear wouldn't have helped. It wouldn't have been so bad if the three sisters weren't there. :D

Cthulhu
 
I dunno....some gals might like the "advertisement". <EG>
 
A few years ago I was asked to help demonstrate to some junior students the advantages of putting your hips into the strike. So I'm standing there slightly side on to the senior student who was doing this demo, and he is moving slowly adjusting his stances, explainijng every little detail of what is going on, and what effect these actions will have on an unfortunate opponent.
Then he throws the punch, twisting his hips and getting an unbelievable amount of penetration. Unfortunately for me he was looking at the juniors, making sure that they were all paying attention, so he didn't see me walking around in circles, so badly winded, I couldn't even suck air. I looked like a fish out of water. Worse than that though, when he hit me it felt like my rib cage had gone flat under the pressure, and two days later I developed a bruise down the length of my sternum, man what a punch.
--Dave
:rofl:
(not laughing.... trying to breathe)
 
I was watching the head instructor spar with Ray. Ray was an orange belt at the time but Ray was one of those guys who had great natural ability and heart. Even sparring with Ray was a chore for most people because Ray never went "light" (I don't think he understood the concept) and he wouldn't back up unless you backed him up. Difficult for most of us but fairly easy for the head instructor. Anyway, The instructor went to front kick Ray in the stomach and Ray stepped rignt into it and caught it right between the legs at what sounded like full power. Everyone in the room had the immediate response of covering your eyes, saying "OOOWWCCHHH" and looking away for a second. As soon as I looked back, there's Ray still standing. He reaches down and pulls out two halves of his cup. Any more penetration and Ray would have had serious trouble. It didn't seem to hurt him at all.

Jim
 
one night i decided to introduce a few of my students and fellow black belts to the three section staff which i had been working on at a local mantis school... at once one of our young black belts wanted to try it out. being more than happy to let him figuring it would be good for a laugh seeing him attempt to use the weapon. well imagine my suprise as he began doing a figure eight motion and pretty well until he turned and everything seemed to go into slow motion as i saw him rise the staff slightly and the tip strike two 8 foot long flourescent light bulbs on the ceiling... needless to say i was picking glass out of my hair for a couple of days not to mention the mats the were stabbed... after that i decided not to bring new weapons to class for a while lol.

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scariest things ever seen at a tournament.... a group of 5 tae kwon do black belts walking around wearing their jock strap on the outside of their gi's.... also seeing a guy going to the hospital for having a cup shattered from a miss placed front kick
 
Originally posted by TLH3rdDan


scariest things ever seen at a tournament.... a group of 5 tae kwon do black belts walking around wearing their jock strap on the outside of their gi's.... also seeing a guy going to the hospital for having a cup shattered from a miss placed front kick
There is a cup you can get from adidas, that you wear outside your gi. They are marketed at TKD people, but the Kenpo school, where I used to train, used and recomended them

--Dave:asian:
 
lmao i know what your talking about but this was not it lol this was the old school wal-mart Bike brand jocks lol it was funny as hell
 
We had this girl come pratice jujitsu, and she didn't were a t-shirt under her gi. It worked out fine for a while, until one day we were going to do a defence against a dobble hold on the front of the gi. Well, to make a long story short and get to the point, after trying to hit the oppents hands away, it wasn't the hands that lost gri疇, but the gi flew open. If you can't guess the rest your not old enough to know :D

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One time I praticed in another city once in a while. one time a year had passed. But I came to the dojo, and this young eager guy comes over and askes me if I wanted to try arnis. Yeah I said, and took gi pants on, and a t-shirt. In arnis I don't go so much into formality, even though I'm an 1 degree black belt. He starting telling me that I shouldn't be afraid of the sticks , and that I'll get used to it. If I had any questions I could just ask. That's when I told him "nope, no questions. I've seen all the videos, and know all the moves". He looked at me and said that wasn't a good attetuide. I answered that I could learn it all on video. He went away shaking his head. When class started and we paired off, and started doing our stuff, this guys eyes were falling out. Our sensei then had to tell him. But the look on his face was worth gold!

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I have this freind who said that he could hold my hands no matter what. I said OK, but mayby it'll hurt I said. No problem he said. He took hold of both my hands , and I stared him in the eyes, and roared a BIG kiai, he was so scared that he let go. See that was easy I said.....

Enjoy

/Yari
 

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