How do you relax?

[JamesGarr]

So my two sons (14 and 11) and I earned our first sashes the other night in lai tung pai kung fu. I'm very proud of them (and myself); we all love it. After the test, I asked for feedback, and Sifu told me I need to relax and try to use my lower body more with my movements. I think I understand what he is saying; I think I understand the state of mind and body that I need to be in, but I'm having trouble getting there. I wasn't particularly nervous testing, but of course I was to some degree, as that is part of the process. Nervousness and even fear I can shake off, but even in situations where I'm not nervous in the least, I am told that I tense up.

It occurs to me that even though I am far from a type A personality, I have a hard time being in a relaxed state 24/7. For instance, I have to practice some deep breathing at night or I'm up for hours before I fall asleep. I'm always busy doing something or thinking.

How do you relax when practicing kung fu? I know it's possible because my sons can do it. My youngest one almost looks bored!

 

[Bill Mattocks]

I don't know the answer to that (although I am a karateka, the 'relax' advice is the same). I happen to be fairly relaxed and my body shows it. I just do it, I do not know how. We have some beginners in our dojo who are stiff and stilted and they bend over when they punch or kick instead of just sinking down into their stance and they know it. They want to change but don't know how. I don't know how to tell them to do it. Hopefully, it just comes along; all the martial artists I know who have been doing it for awhile just relax and flow. I guess I just don't get keyed up about it. Just let it happen, man. It might help me that I'm both fat and old. Nothing much to get uptight about.

 

[Xue Sheng]

How do you relax when practicing kung fu?

Breathe

 

[yak sao]

I had never heard of this particular style, so I researched it a bit....sounds like a fantastic style to train in.
As a general rule, going for slow and smooth execution of your forms will help you to relax. Don't be in a hurry to add power or speed to the movements, first make sure you are doing it correctly.
Pay attention to what muscles are involved in a particular movement and "shut off" the muscles that aren't required.
And as stated by Xue, breathe.

Keep at it...it just takes a little time.

 

[mook jong man]

I don't know what your particular system is , but let your movements be like that of a "dead weight".
Let your stance sink into the floor , and then find the bare minimum of muscular force you have to use in order to still be able to execute the technique properly.
Relaxation will come from many repetitions as the body becomes more efficient and learns to accomplish more with less effort.

 

[JamesGarr]

Thank you for the replies so far. For those interested in more information, you can find a description of Lai Tung Pai at http://www.mhkungfu.com/styles/lai-tung-pai.php.

 

[JamesGarr]

Breathe

I do focus on this, especially when sparring, but I think I tend to inhale and exhale sharply. Perhaps I'm not breathing deeply enough.

 

[JamesGarr]

I don't know the answer to that (although I am a karateka, the 'relax' advice is the same). I happen to be fairly relaxed and my body shows it. I just do it, I do not know how. We have some beginners in our dojo who are stiff and stilted and they bend over when they punch or kick instead of just sinking down into their stance and they know it. They want to change but don't know how. I don't know how to tell them to do it. Hopefully, it just comes along; all the martial artists I know who have been doing it for awhile just relax and flow. I guess I just don't get keyed up about it. Just let it happen, man. It might help me that I'm both fat and old. Nothing much to get uptight about.

The beginners you speak of sound exactly like me. I do try very hard to excel in class, but perhaps I'm trying too hard and need to stop trying to be a perfectionist and just try to detach myself a bit.

 

[JamesGarr]

I had never heard of this particular style, so I researched it a bit....sounds like a fantastic style to train in.

I love it. It has so much variety, but there is also a strategy to it that makes sense to me.

As a general rule, going for slow and smooth execution of your forms will help you to relax. Don't be in a hurry to add power or speed to the movements, first make sure you are doing it correctly.

I think I'm good in this area. I try to move slowly until I get it perfectly, and only then start to go faster.

Pay attention to what muscles are involved in a particular movement and "shut off" the muscles that aren't required.
.

That's something I haven't considered, thanks!

 

[JamesGarr]

I don't know what your particular system is , but let your movements be like that of a "dead weight".
Let your stance sink into the floor , and then find the bare minimum of muscular force you have to use in order to still be able to execute the technique properly.
Relaxation will come from many repetitions as the body becomes more efficient and learns to accomplish more with less effort.

Repetition is no problem, I love practicing. I will have to focus on efficiency. It is very likely that I am using a lot of muscles unnecessarily or with greater force than I need to.

Ironically, thinking about relaxing makes it hard to relax. It's driving me crazy; but I'm going to try to be patient, I know I can overcome this.

 

[oaktree]

Try letting go. Relaxation is a paradox it is not something
doing it is something not doing.

 

[Xue Sheng]

I do focus on this, especially when sparring, but I think I tend to inhale and exhale sharply. Perhaps I'm not breathing deeply enough.

Just Beathe normally.... nice relaxed breathing

 

[WC_lun]

Breathing is good for relaxation. I see so many people hold thier breath when performing kung fu and doing exactly what you say you are doing, tensing up. Pick one part of your body to focus on. Since your Sifu says you are having problems connecting lower and upper, perhaps focusing on your hips would be good. Go through your form and drills while exploring what is going on with your hips and how they feel when you do something in a correct manner. It'll help you keep from tensing and help you gain a little insight. Finally, understand even martial experts mess up occasionally. Try your best, but don't hang onto the fear of "not doing it right." That puts a ton of pressure on your shoulders and suprise, causes a person to tense up. You are not expected to be perfect

Good luck to you and your boys in your training.

 

[mograph]

All good advice.
We often try to make too many things happen, when we should be letting more things happen. (along the lines of what Oaktree wrote)
One manifestation of this would be, as Yak Sao wrote, to relax the muscles you don't need. Maybe not completely, of course.

Less making, more letting.
In time you'll find the right balance between them.

 

[JamesGarr]

Since your Sifu says you are having problems connecting lower and upper, perhaps focusing on your hips would be good.

Good luck to you and your boys in your training.

This makes sense. Thank you!

 

[JamesGarr]

I'm still struggling with this, but I thought I'd update you all that I've made progress. I was doing hu bud drills with my son and noticed I was doing better than normal. At some point during the drill I realized that when I let my hands relax my blocks were much faster. A few minutes into it I received praise for being relaxed.

My forms are still too tense and fast, and I have plenty of room for improvement, but I feel like I'm making progress on this, and that realization that I'm not hopeless is helping me relax even more. I think making a conscious effort to relax is paying off in the long run, even though sometimes it is counterproductive and gets me worked up.

I've used every bit of advice in this thread. Thank you all.

 

[J W]

Relaxation is something I have been thinking about a fair bit lately. We have a couple new students at our kwoon who are having a tough time relaxing. I find myself working with them fairly often, and trying to find new ways get them to relax. I had a difficult time with relaxation as well when I first started, and now I'm trying to explain how to overcome this to people who are where I was only about a year ago.

First, I think it is a long process. When I work with these new, stiff sidai, they comment on how relaxed I am during my movements. So I've made plenty of progress since I was in their shoes. But when I work with my sihing, they will often tell me that I'm still too stiff, so I guess I'm still not yet where I need to be. I spend plenty of time playing my Siu Nim Tao form (not sure if your style has something similar) very slowly to try and improve my level of relaxation.

Second, I think it comes back to your mindset; you can't relax physically unless you are relaxed mentally. I can see on the faces of these new students when they go from a mentally relaxed state to emergency mode- that is, if I go from a slow, rythmic pace where they are comfortable to a quick broken rythm, their eyes get big and they hold their breath as they mentally try to deal with what is coming at them- and of course this mental tension turns quickly into physical tension.

Anyway, just throwing a couple of thoughts out there. It can be a deceptively difficult thing, this relaxation. Just keep at it a don't let it frustrate you.

 

[JamesGarr]

I do believe we have a form similar to Siu Nim Tao, but I have not yet learned it. I will keep your advice in mind when I do learn it, and I will also try to do the forms I do know more slowly, or at least at a more even pace.

I was doing our Sup Ji form with my usual vigor last night and then at the end slowed down when I got to a part I was still learning. But Sifu pointed out that I wasn't really slowing down enough. He suggested I do the entire form at the same pace, so I should go as slow as my slowest part from beginning to end. The concept of thinking about the entire form at once is new to me, but I think I get what he's saying there. It was also pointed out to me that as I get tired, I get sloppy at the end, and need to pace myself and to focus more at the end.

It really is a test of patience and perseverance, but I am enjoying the journey.

 

[Flying Crane]

Sifu told me I need to relax and try to use my lower body more with my movements.

This is important and it is my impression that many (most?) people have a lot of difficulty with this. I even see a lot of people who seem to have no concept of it at all. Does your system have a method for developing this ability? Are there drills that you do that help develop this skill? They may be drills that are completely separate from martial technique application, but help you understand how to connect the body as one unit and drive your technique from the power of the legs and the ground.

My system does have a very specific method for doing this, and before I trained in my system I had trained in some others. It wasn't until I had the hindsight that I understood the difference and I realized that in the past I had no concept of how to do that and no method for helping to develop it.

I suggest you specifically ask your sifu how you can go about developing that understanding and that ability, what method of practicing it or what drills might he recommend. Hopefully there is something in the teaching methodology that he can teach you and get you working on. I find that it is something that takes constant practice. Much of my training, every time I train, is taken up with this kind of drill, working to reinforce that full body connection. Without that, everything is weaker.

 

[Doomx2001]

I would say just breathe, and empty your mind. Don't try to do your forms or techniques, just do them. Allow your arms and legs to have 'bend' in them. Use more of your body and focus on your breathing.
Do not be afraid to fail and don't try to win, just do. Sort of like when a ball player gets in the 'zone'.