Before making an assumption, I would like some further information. Tatanga your background indicates that you also list Judo as being studied. What is your feeling about self defense in regards to Judo? Do you feel the same as with the Hapkido(?) you are presumed to be learning?
What elements of instruction do you feel are limiting you, aside from the sparring you referenced, from realizing the self defense posture that Hapkido in noted for. Understand, that many venues of Hapkido don't have sparring and yet they teach and understand the facets of self defense. Sparring unto itself, does not formulate a true self defense mindset, so it is not a proponent to learning self defense.