This is probably more of a question for the wrestlers or jujitsu people. But I'm starting to learn some grappling and I find it so awkward! How can I get more confortable with the close contact required for grappling? My guess is to just do it more, but maybe there's some tips to alleviate my discomfort quickly?
Getting comfortable with grappling
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frank raud
Master of Arts
Well you're right doing more will help you get used to it. Concentrate more on what you should be doing in the grappling situation, and less on the fact you are in close body contact with another person.
Headhunter
Senior Master
I mean this is in the best of ways but my advice is if you're going to do it just suck it up and get on with it
Let your instructor know. Only work with people you trust.
Assuming you are in some kind of striking art and have worked your way up to where they introduce grappling...
A good instructor should be able to work out some drills for you:
Once you can do the drills, start to introduce light resistance, once the pin is made. Then slowly increase the resistance.
This way the grappling comes in small chunks that get a little longer. Once you start introducing the resistance, soon you will just decide to skip the get up again and just start over from the pin.
If you just signed up for a BJJ or wrestling type school... well, this is what you signed up for and it will just take time. Still, let your instructor know. You won't be the first, and your instructor should know how to introduce you to the grappling. (actually, in both cases your instructor should know how to more comfortably introduce you to grappling)
At the end of the day, never forget that you still have the right to say "No." If you are uncomfortable, for any reason and would rather skip it... the techniques are not going anywhere... they will still be there when you are ready. For example, if you are on the third drill above and you start feeling uncomfortable, just let your partner know you want to go back to drill 1 or drill 2 for the remainder of the time... since you already let your instructor know what was going on, it should be ok, maybe next class number 3 will be ok. This way you are still in control.
Finally, talk to your instructor. (I said that a few times for a reason
)
Assuming you are in some kind of striking art and have worked your way up to where they introduce grappling...
A good instructor should be able to work out some drills for you:
- Block, strike, take down, pin, start over
- Block, strike, take down, pin 1, transition to pin 2, start over
- Block, strike, take down, pin, submission, start over
- Block, strike, take down, pin, escape, start over
Once you can do the drills, start to introduce light resistance, once the pin is made. Then slowly increase the resistance.
This way the grappling comes in small chunks that get a little longer. Once you start introducing the resistance, soon you will just decide to skip the get up again and just start over from the pin.
If you just signed up for a BJJ or wrestling type school... well, this is what you signed up for and it will just take time. Still, let your instructor know. You won't be the first, and your instructor should know how to introduce you to the grappling. (actually, in both cases your instructor should know how to more comfortably introduce you to grappling)
At the end of the day, never forget that you still have the right to say "No." If you are uncomfortable, for any reason and would rather skip it... the techniques are not going anywhere... they will still be there when you are ready. For example, if you are on the third drill above and you start feeling uncomfortable, just let your partner know you want to go back to drill 1 or drill 2 for the remainder of the time... since you already let your instructor know what was going on, it should be ok, maybe next class number 3 will be ok. This way you are still in control.
Finally, talk to your instructor. (I said that a few times for a reason
)
skribs
Grandmaster
Is your problem with touching in general, or being worried about a bad touch? For example, is it that you don't like to be touched or that you just don't feel sweaty people should be touching each other, or is it that awkward "if I do a hip throw then our hips are too close together" type of awkward?
At my school the awkward isn't usually with grappling techniques, but more with the kiyhaps. The more you do it, the more used to it you'll get.
At my school the awkward isn't usually with grappling techniques, but more with the kiyhaps. The more you do it, the more used to it you'll get.
hoshin1600
Senior Master
lots of people are uncomfortable both men and women ...your not alone
Rice Nachos
White Belt
The answer is probably just "keep doing it" if you have competent instruction and decent partners.
Perhaps you could elaborate on the techniques you're training and the difficulties you're having.
hoshin1600
Senior Master
The OP is female. The difficulty with grappling with men should be self evident.
hoshin1600
Senior Master
The women I have grappled with always seemed to be very focused on the competitive mindset; winning, being better than the guys and really trying to kick their butts.
Maybe if you focus your mind in a more aggressive competitive way your mind will not have time to think about anything else.
Not sure it will work but it is all I can come up with.
Kind of the third scenario you brought up. I'm ok with some contact, especially when the goal is to strike in some way and create distance. But the prolonged and very close contact that is part of grapplng, well I just find it awkward and it makes me panic a little, even though I do largely trust my training partners. I guess it will just take some getting used to.
Deafdude#5
Green Belt
Yes, just keep practicing. You’ll adjust to it.
It’s mental conditioning since most people are trained to have space & not touch.
Are you training with partners of the same sex? If not, perhaps that is the source of your discomfort. I would talk to your instructor.
It’s mental conditioning since most people are trained to have space & not touch.
Are you training with partners of the same sex? If not, perhaps that is the source of your discomfort. I would talk to your instructor.
frank raud
Master of Arts
When I responded, I didn't realize the OP was female. My previous advise still stands. I just wanted to add that at a judo club I used to train at, we had 10 black belts as instructors including one female black belt. I enjoyed grappling with her as there was less of a strength component ( I outweighed her by about 80 lbs) and more focus on technique. In many ways, I found it more challenging to grapple with her, both standup and on the ground, than with the males. She bested me the majority(high majority) of times we matched up.
Find the guy(s) in your club who don't have an issue with training with someone who is probably not as strong as them, and let the techniques work for you.
CrazedChris
Green Belt
I understand what you mean with it being awkward. I try to focus more on the technique and getting it right than the fact that there is someone way to close to me for comfort. It is usually awkward for both people involved. I have had my training partner, usually a much younger guy, back up and regroup, because he was uncomfortable as well.
GreatSayiaman
Yellow Belt
One word of advice when it comes to grappling and getting comfortable, Practice. If you feel uncomfortable with certain aspects or you need to work a certain aspect speak with you Coach/Teacher and training partners on how they can help you out with your progression.
Last word of advice never ever be afraid to Tap, As Royler Gracie says, The more you Tap, The more you Learn.
Last word of advice never ever be afraid to Tap, As Royler Gracie says, The more you Tap, The more you Learn.
CrazedChris
Green Belt
Yes, if my partner or I get weirded out or something, we look at each other, acknowledge it is weird, then get back to it. If I am having trouble, the Sensei is quick to answer questions, or show me again.
CrazedChris
Green Belt
Yep, my oldest daughter still has trouble with this. It helps that now if Sensei catches you not doing it, you get pushups.
skribs
Grandmaster
Yep, my oldest daughter still has trouble with this. It helps that now if Sensei catches you not doing it, you get pushups.
By the time they're purple belt, they usually kiyhap most of the time. It's just that some people have a very quiet mumble and others have a loud shout.
I try different things here and there. I've found if I push too hard on something it can shake their confidence and make things worse. One thing I do every so often is I mirror the volume of their kiyhap when I encourage them on their kick. So if they have a very quiet, short "ha" then I say "good kick." If they have an ear-shattering roar of pure intensity, then I yell back "nii-iii-iiice!"
CrazedChris
Green Belt
She is very shy and quiet, in most situations. MA is helping her gain confidence though.
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