Don't understand!

[Tony]

I have noticed my instructor has started teaching people other things such as Nunchuku and sword. And being a high grade he did not offer to teach me the sword but a much lower grade then me has been learning this. But I have to say this guy who is learning the sword form has already been practicing Tai Chi so I guess he may have some knowledge of it. But still I feel I'm missing out on things and probably I'll never get to learn them. Frustrated at this I have looked into learning the Nunchuku on my own from books and videos and have learnt really well. I found a great website for this which teaches a lot of stuff. I am also thinking of learning another Martial Art so I can work more on self defence and grappling, i.e Aikido and maybe some Wing Chun. But I also thought about tai chi. I would never question my instructor's methods as I guess I do need more work on fundamentals and forms. Right now I'm learning a very difficult Mantis form (Shaolin Long Fist). I definately need more work on my postures as I don't always go deep and low enough.
Only the other day a lower grade than me was helping me with a form as I guess she was more comfortable asking questions than me.
So does anyone here with a high grade have to miss out on a certain aspect of training while other lower grades get to learn it?

 

[Martial Tucker]

I have noticed my instructor has started teaching people other things such as Nunchuku and sword. And being a high grade he did not offer to teach me the sword but a much lower grade then me has been learning this. But I have to say this guy who is learning the sword form has already been practicing Tai Chi so I guess he may have some knowledge of it. But still I feel I'm missing out on things and probably I'll never get to learn them. Frustrated at this I have looked into learning the Nunchuku on my own from books and videos and have learnt really well. I found a great website for this which teaches a lot of stuff. I am also thinking of learning another Martial Art so I can work more on self defence and grappling, i.e Aikido and maybe some Wing Chun. But I also thought about tai chi. I would never question my instructor's methods as I guess I do need more work on fundamentals and forms. Right now I'm learning a very difficult Mantis form (Shaolin Long Fist). I definately need more work on my postures as I don't always go deep and low enough.
Only the other day a lower grade than me was helping me with a form as I guess she was more comfortable asking questions than me.
So does anyone here with a high grade have to miss out on a certain aspect of training while other lower grades get to learn it?

Tony,

I can't speak for if/how you should cross train in other disciplines, but your self-critique in your post may be answering many of your questions. One suggestion is to let go of your ego and not get so caught up in your grade vs. someone else's. We can all learn something from each other. If grade/status is that much of an issue with you, I guarantee your teacher has also noticed, and it could be a factor in how he is treating you. As for the nunchuku and sword lessons, rather than challenge your teacher as to why you are being excluded, I would simply tell him that you wish to learn them, and ask him if he feels that you are ready. Put in this way, I think you will either get the lessons you want, or you will get a good explanation as to why you are being excluded, which you should take to heart and think about.

 

[Tony]

Hi Martial Tucker

I don't believe i have an ego! I am one of the most unegotistical people you'll ever meet. I really didn't mind the lower grade helping me with a form but I guess I felt embarrassed because I'm suppose to be the one helping people with forms. If it appears to people I have an ego, its not the truth, I'm just shy and lacking in confidence and sometimes this can be seen as arrogant which is never the case as I'm always keen to learn and always listen to what my instructor has to say. I'm a very passive person and never start fights to the point where I allow myself to become a total doormat. Believe me when i say I have no ego, but i do notice other people in my class who relish entering tournaments and enjoy winning medals. This I feel fuels egos as it gives me a false sense of skill in a person's martial arts ability.
I remember my last grading I barely got my next belt because I feel even though i tried hard I wasn't performing well enough to my instructor's satisfaction. He also mentioned that for the next time certain people would not be graded because they need more work and although he was kind enough not to mention names I knew he was talking about me. I know I will not be entered in the next grading, and its ok because the higher i get the more responsibility I will have and I just can't deal with that as it would mean having to teach and thats something I don't enjoy. There are people who have been training the same amount of time than me and some even less who have already got their black sashes. I don't care if it takes me another 10 years because I want to earn it.

 

[Enson]

imo when its time for the baby birds to learn how to fly they all learn. even though some don't do as well as others. i would defenitly talk to him to find out whats up. ask him and maybe he'll tell you.

 

[Martial Tucker]

Hi Martial Tucker

I don't believe i have an ego! I am one of the most unegotistical people you'll ever meet. I really didn't mind the lower grade helping me with a form but I guess I felt embarrassed because I'm suppose to be the one helping people with forms. If it appears to people I have an ego, its not the truth, I'm just shy and lacking in confidence and sometimes this can be seen as arrogant which is never the case as I'm always keen to learn and always listen to what my instructor has to say. I'm a very passive person and never start fights to the point where I allow myself to become a total doormat. Believe me when i say I have no ego, but i do notice other people in my class who relish entering tournaments and enjoy winning medals. This I feel fuels egos as it gives me a false sense of skill in a person's martial arts ability.
I remember my last grading I barely got my next belt because I feel even though i tried hard I wasn't performing well enough to my instructor's satisfaction. He also mentioned that for the next time certain people would not be graded because they need more work and although he was kind enough not to mention names I knew he was talking about me. I know I will not be entered in the next grading, and its ok because the higher i get the more responsibility I will have and I just can't deal with that as it would mean having to teach and thats something I don't enjoy. There are people who have been training the same amount of time than me and some even less who have already got their black sashes. I don't care if it takes me another 10 years because I want to earn it.

OK, I don't know you, so I'll certainly take your word for it. Sorry if I offended you, but the "gist" of your first post was how you were upset that your teacher was offering weapons training to people in your school ranked lower than you. In my view you have two choices: 1. You can continue to focus on all of your weaknesses (note: we ALL have weaknesses) and assume for some
reason that the other students are more worthy than you (not true...you sound like a good, hard working student). 2. You can respectfully approach your teacher for a critique of "where you are at" in your training, and work on your weaknesses. I will close by repeating the last statement of my 1st post:

As for the nunchuku and sword lessons, rather than challenge your teacher as to why you are being excluded, I would simply tell him that you wish to learn them, and ask him if he feels that you are ready. Put in this way, I think you will either get the lessons you want, or you will get a good explanation as to why you are being excluded, which you should take to heart and think about.


Good luck, and Cheers!

 

[Tony]

OK, I don't know you, so I'll certainly take your word for it. Sorry if I offended you, but the "gist" of your first post was how you were upset that your teacher was offering weapons training to people in your school ranked lower than you. In my view you have two choices: 1. You can continue to focus on all of your weaknesses (note: we ALL have weaknesses) and assume for some
reason that the other students are more worthy than you (not true...you sound like a good, hard working student). 2. You can respectfully approach your teacher for a critique of "where you are at" in your training, and work on your weaknesses. I will close by repeating the last statement of my 1st post:

As for the nunchuku and sword lessons, rather than challenge your teacher as to why you are being excluded, I would simply tell him that you wish to learn them, and ask him if he feels that you are ready. Put in this way, I think you will either get the lessons you want, or you will get a good explanation as to why you are being excluded, which you should take to heart and think about.

Hi Martial Tucker

Its ok, I realise you only trying to offer me some words of advice but I read what you said but I don't think I could talk to my instructor, its not something I feel comfortable with. Tonight I really felt like I embarrassed myself. I was trying hard to perform the techniques my instructor was telling us to do but its like I could hear what he was saying but my brain sent my body a different message. So sometimes I do feel like I am really slow in picking things up. I am very flexible and I think I have good techniques but I feel my fitness could do with some improvement. Tonight we were going through some kind of drills with moves from certain forms taht my instructor just gave us to do really fast. He performed them fast to get us to watch him doing it fast without slowing down and we had to as best we can to copy. I was finding it hard, then we did some Chi gung which was part fo another form. But I was getting really light headed. I thought I was going to be sick so I asked if I could go to the toilet. I wasn't sick thank god but I did feel very faint and I just had some water. I feel really ashamed as I'm a high grade and I'm expected to work hard. All the time when I'm doing any technique, for example a hand strike, my Sifu will say "come on Tony faster"!
Tonight like always I was just tired and I was ind it hard to be fast, but I was trying. Then we had to do a different technique, and I think for some reason or other I must have misheard him or my brain just got totally confused, but my instructor had to explain the technique to me twice. But he told me in a sarcastic tone and I felt really stupid. But I know I'm not stupid, but I can be a little slow sometimes, I don't know why. The negative voices inside my head were saying to me to give up but then I reminded myself of why I'm doing this. I have always wanted to learn a Martial Art to protect myself and to gain confidence. Six years ago I decided to try and find a Martial Art I could study rather then trying to teach myself from books as I was too shy to join a club. Twice I tried entering the training hall of the first 2 Martial Arts Classes but I got a miled panic attack and just left without even iintroducing myself to teh instructor. I only found my present class my accident because the poster was on the wall outside the training hall of the tang Soo do class I tried to go to. But when i found this class I was so happy because I actually made myself go and thats not easy for a shy person like me with very little confidence. And I have a strong feeling I'm not going to be graded for the next grading but thats ok, I don't care if it takes 10 years to get my black sash or maybe I never will!
I have thought about giving up and starting another style, maybe Aikido, maybe another Kung Fu style but not letting the instructor know of my previous knowledge so I can be treated like a total beginner.
Sometimes I wish I could find my very own Mr Miyagi teaching me Martial Arts privately, but sounds silly I know. Yes I should approach my Instructor and tell him whats bothering me but I woudl never in a million years do that as I feel too nervous about doing that. I hate confrontations of any kind and even now I back off when even someone as weak as an old lady can instill fear in me! I'm a very sensitive person and I really don't take criticism very well. Right now I just feel like a failure and I can see my instructor telling me to stop training with him. Although its 50% likely, I wouldn't do anything about it even though I woudl hate for that to happen. But this really reminds me of school when I was put in lower groups in classes beacuse I was finding the work hard and again I was to shy to ask for help. And the teachers simply did not understand this so instead of trying to help me help deal with the problem,they just moved the problem somewhere else.
Look sorry i have rambled on but I' just feeling a bit depressed.

 

[Martial Tucker]

OK, I don't know you, so I'll certainly take your word for it. Sorry if I offended you, but the "gist" of your first post was how you were upset that your teacher was offering weapons training to people in your school ranked lower than you. In my view you have two choices: 1. You can continue to focus on all of your weaknesses (note: we ALL have weaknesses) and assume for some
reason that the other students are more worthy than you (not true...you sound like a good, hard working student). 2. You can respectfully approach your teacher for a critique of "where you are at" in your training, and work on your weaknesses. I will close by repeating the last statement of my 1st post:

As for the nunchuku and sword lessons, rather than challenge your teacher as to why you are being excluded, I would simply tell him that you wish to learn them, and ask him if he feels that you are ready. Put in this way, I think you will either get the lessons you want, or you will get a good explanation as to why you are being excluded, which you should take to heart and think about.

Hi Martial Tucker

Its ok, I realise you only trying to offer me some words of advice but I read what you said but I don't think I could talk to my instructor, its not something I feel comfortable with. Tonight I really felt like I embarrassed myself. I was trying hard to perform the techniques my instructor was telling us to do but its like I could hear what he was saying but my brain sent my body a different message. So sometimes I do feel like I am really slow in picking things up. I am very flexible and I think I have good techniques but I feel my fitness could do with some improvement. Tonight we were going through some kind of drills with moves from certain forms taht my instructor just gave us to do really fast. He performed them fast to get us to watch him doing it fast without slowing down and we had to as best we can to copy. I was finding it hard, then we did some Chi gung which was part fo another form. But I was getting really light headed. I thought I was going to be sick so I asked if I could go to the toilet. I wasn't sick thank god but I did feel very faint and I just had some water. I feel really ashamed as I'm a high grade and I'm expected to work hard. All the time when I'm doing any technique, for example a hand strike, my Sifu will say "come on Tony faster"!
Tonight like always I was just tired and I was ind it hard to be fast, but I was trying. Then we had to do a different technique, and I think for some reason or other I must have misheard him or my brain just got totally confused, but my instructor had to explain the technique to me twice. But he told me in a sarcastic tone and I felt really stupid. But I know I'm not stupid, but I can be a little slow sometimes, I don't know why. The negative voices inside my head were saying to me to give up but then I reminded myself of why I'm doing this. I have always wanted to learn a Martial Art to protect myself and to gain confidence. Six years ago I decided to try and find a Martial Art I could study rather then trying to teach myself from books as I was too shy to join a club. Twice I tried entering the training hall of the first 2 Martial Arts Classes but I got a miled panic attack and just left without even iintroducing myself to teh instructor. I only found my present class my accident because the poster was on the wall outside the training hall of the tang Soo do class I tried to go to. But when i found this class I was so happy because I actually made myself go and thats not easy for a shy person like me with very little confidence. And I have a strong feeling I'm not going to be graded for the next grading but thats ok, I don't care if it takes 10 years to get my black sash or maybe I never will!
I have thought about giving up and starting another style, maybe Aikido, maybe another Kung Fu style but not letting the instructor know of my previous knowledge so I can be treated like a total beginner.
Sometimes I wish I could find my very own Mr Miyagi teaching me Martial Arts privately, but sounds silly I know. Yes I should approach my Instructor and tell him whats bothering me but I woudl never in a million years do that as I feel too nervous about doing that. I hate confrontations of any kind and even now I back off when even someone as weak as an old lady can instill fear in me! I'm a very sensitive person and I really don't take criticism very well. Right now I just feel like a failure and I can see my instructor telling me to stop training with him. Although its 50% likely, I wouldn't do anything about it even though I woudl hate for that to happen. But this really reminds me of school when I was put in lower groups in classes beacuse I was finding the work hard and again I was to shy to ask for help. And the teachers simply did not understand this so instead of trying to help me help deal with the problem,they just moved the problem somewhere else.
Look sorry i have rambled on but I' just feeling a bit depressed.

Tony, first of all I feel for you because when I was younger, I was EXACTLY like you. I had zero self-esteem. How I turned things around is too long a story for here, but I will tell you that you are WAY more worthy than you think, and at some point you are going to HAVE TO take a leap of faith and stand up for yourself. When you do that a few times, and realize that you've lived to tell about it, you suddenly start to believe in yourself, as you should.

As for your teacher, sorry, but he sounds like a real ******* to me. I don't know what is the best style/art for you, but I really think you should consider another school. Any teacher worth a damn, when introducing a new technique, is going to insist his students repeat the technique SLOWLY thru many repetitions until they are comfortable with it. Martial arts is NOT a race. It's an individual marathon, and the only losers are those who put more emphasis on where they are vs. where other people are. The more important fact is where you are vs. where you were yesterday. Please, if you do nothing else, believe in yourself and your dedication and the effort you have already put in.

 

[Flatlander]

As for your teacher, sorry, but he sounds like a real ******* to me. I don't know what is the best style/art for you, but I really think you should consider another school.

Curiously, I mentioned this same thing to Tony in another thread.

Good post M Tucker.

 

[kenpo tiger]

Tony,

You shouldn't compare yourself to anyone but yourself. People learn at different rates and are skilled in and excell in different things. I think the guys have given you some really good advice.

Some instructors see depriving a student of what he wants as an exercise in making him stronger. Some do it because they feel the student isn't ready. Not knowing your instructor, I hesitate to make a judgment either way, but if you're that unhappy - talk to him and tell him. KT

 

[Ceicei]

What's the worst thing you think that could happen if you do go talk to your instructor?

If you don't talk to your instructor to explain why you have a struggle, that you have questions, or about your needs, he is not going to be able to help. Instructors are not mind readers. They are there to teach and to help you learn. Without that feedback from you about what you need and what you would like to learn, it will be harder for him to give feedback to you. The only thing your instructor has is from watching you, but watching you does not tell him what you are thinking. He needs to know also what you are thinking so that the learning environment becomes better for both of you. In fact, he may respect you more for doing this.

- Ceicei

 

[Baoquan]

Tony,

I've read a few of your posts, and understand your hopes of gaining confidence through studying MA. Good for you, its a worthy aim. However, a lot of the process of "gaining confidence" is just to have it, a little bit at a time, and a lot of gaining advancement in the MA is not about learning new forms and higher grades, but *self-improvement*.

The annoying thing about self-improvement is that you have to do it yourself. Instructors cant teach it. Authors can't enshrine it in books (despite the thriving marketing niche). You have to do it yourself.

Martial Tucker has given you some excellent advice. I second it, heartily. Stop telling yourself you "could never do that in a million years", because thats what we call a "self-fulfilling prohecy" - if you beleive it, it will be true.

On the other hand, if you tell yourself "I can do this today", that will be true.

As for your aerobic fitness - that's easy to take care of. Buy a skipping rope. Skip for a few minutes each morning - adding a little extra time each day - just an extra 15 seconds each day, and you'll see some dramatic improvements really quickly. There are also many simple techniques for remembering forms, and engraving good technique into your physical memory, so they'll be easier to do quickly.

However, they aren't gonna jump up and wave their arms in front of you. Ask, and ye shall recieve.

 

[Tony]

Thanks everyone for your advice! I think for the time being I will just carry on with my present style, just do my best and if there is anything I'm lacking in I will find elsewhere. It doesn't matter if my instructor isn't showing me some thing that other people are learning, I will merely consult books and videos because at the moment I'm learning to use the Nunchuku from a website I found and I think I'm doing really well! I will try to find more information on other Martial Arts. Any advice is welcome from those of you who teach.

 

[Tony]

Tony, first of all I feel for you because when I was younger, I was EXACTLY like you. I had zero self-esteem. How I turned things around is too long a story for here, but I will tell you that you are WAY more worthy than you think, and at some point you are going to HAVE TO take a leap of faith and stand up for yourself. When you do that a few times, and realize that you've lived to tell about it, you suddenly start to believe in yourself, as you should.

As for your teacher, sorry, but he sounds like a real ******* to me. I don't know what is the best style/art for you, but I really think you should consider another school. Any teacher worth a damn, when introducing a new technique, is going to insist his students repeat the technique SLOWLY thru many repetitions until they are comfortable with it. Martial arts is NOT a race. It's an individual marathon, and the only losers are those who put more emphasis on where they are vs. where other people are. The more important fact is where you are vs. where you were yesterday. Please, if you do nothing else, believe in yourself and your dedication and the effort you have already put in.

Hi Martial Tucker

Thanks for your kind words! To be fair to my instructor is must be really frustrating having to repeat information to a student who is still not getting what he is saying or it may appear that to him I'm not really listening to him.
I don't doubt his Martial Arts abilities or his experience and I really don't think there is anything wrong with his teaching. I guess its just me as I can be a little slow at times. Its interesting hw one guy who has been training in less time than me who I think began his training a year or two after me is already a black sash. I have had to miss gradings because I think my instructor felt I wasn't ready for them and my last grading was such a fiasco. I really don't think my instructor wanted to give me my as even though I tried my best I guess it wasn't good enough. But because there were parents of other students there I guess he didn't want to make the club look bad. I also remember during the grading I had a slight bad back and I had told one of my fellow students about it and when it came time to start my instructor asked if anyone had any injuries but we were meant to be facing the other way. But because I believe you should always be facing the person you're talking to I told him I had a bad back. And he replied in a sarcastic but agressive tone of voice "what part of face the other way didn't you understand?" I felt quite embarrassed as I didn't mean to be so defiant.
One part of the grading was working on the pads so we all had partners, lucky for me (yeah right!) I was with my instructor's assistant instructor who was trying to show me the proper technique and because I was still getting it wrong and then my instructor came to correct me. He got his assistant to show me what i was not doing and asked me what he was doing that I wasn't doing. I answered incorrectly his assistant laughed at me, because I guess he thought i was retarded or something. I felt upset and really p@ssed off and could quite easily have walked out but then I thought to myself all this would be for nothing if I did that. I have been one of the most dedicated students there and I have hardly missed as many classes as most people. I was even attending classes when I was seriously ill with anaemia and my weight had dropped considerably, I had no energy and I was always feeling cold. Before this I had no car to get there so I would use my mum's bike and cycle.
I think though I must be the only one who doesn't have the confidence to use what I have learned in a real life confrontation.
Now i could just stop going and I'm sure my instructor would think nothing of it and continue with one less problem to worry about. But if i did this I certainly don't want to give up on Martial Arts. I would probably try to find another class or go back to training myself. I have even looked into learning other techniques and tricks from other styles, especially the cool wushu stuff.

 

[Marginal]

Tonight I really felt like I embarrassed myself. I was trying hard to perform the techniques my instructor was telling us to do but its like I could hear what he was saying but my brain sent my body a different message. So sometimes I do feel like I am really slow in picking things up. I am very flexible and I think I have good techniques but I feel my fitness could do with some improvement.

I think everyone's hit that wall at least a few times while they're training. It really does help on a lot of levels if you train outside of class running, pushups/pressups and the like. Even the stuff that's not directly going into perfecting a form will still net you an improvement.

www.ringside.com offers a free beginning boxing manual. They techniques discussed in there may or may not apply to your training, but the exercise advice in the booklet's very useful regardless. Direct link: http://www.ringside.com/pdf_files/boxing_manual.pdf

I feel really ashamed as I'm a high grade and I'm expected to work hard. All the time when I'm doing any technique, for example a hand strike, my Sifu will say "come on Tony faster"!

As one of my instructors said, "All you can do is your best. Just aim to do a little more each time." Along those lines, you really can't do anything about past mistakes but improve upon them for next time, so dwelling on them endlessly isn't going to do much for you but drag your confidence down even more. The more stress you needlessly pile upon yourself, the more your cognition goes down and so on.

 

[Rob Broad]

Tony

Instructors have many reasons for teching people different things at different times. I do not know whether your instructor is a putz or not because I have never studied under him.

I might have a suggestion to to help you understand the concepts that seem to elude you. When you practice at home isolate your area of practice. if you practice 3 or 4 times at home that week work on everything you normally do but concentrate on 1 type of basic such as stances, the following week your blocks, and then some strikes etc... Continue to do a cycle of rotating your emphasis in your personbal practice and in a very short time you will find things starting to click a little better, and with the improved skill you will then have the backing to speak with your instructor about what he hasn't taught you.

I am not casting aspersions on your abilities, I am only replying to what you had wrote in a previous post.

 

[Tony]

Hi Rob

Thankyou! I really need to do more of that more often. Although I love to parctice my kicks outside of class I know I need more work on my forms and stances for sure. Its fine my instructor doesn't want to teach me certain aspects, I will merely seek out that information somewhere else. For instance I have been practicing with my Nunchuku and have got some good results.

 

[Tony]

Hi everyone

Tonight was actually a revelation. Because I wasn't sure whether I wanted to go but something inside fo me just can't let me give up and I'm glad I did as I'm getting much better at this Mantis form. My instructor has noticed and told me why he has left me on my own so much so that I can think for myself. He said I seem to forget forms easily, complimented me on my stick form as he said I took to it like a duck to water. So I now actually feel a lot better. I now understand why he was doing that and it was to help me. It makes sense, because why would someone of his skill and experience just neglect me? (20 years). Anyway thanks everyone for your input, your advice and support has been invaluable! May you all achieve what you want out of your training.


Tony

 

[Martial Tucker]

Hi everyone

Tonight was actually a revelation. Because I wasn't sure whether I wanted to go but something inside fo me just can't let me give up and I'm glad I did as I'm getting much better at this Mantis form. My instructor has noticed and told me why he has left me on my own so much so that I can think for myself. He said I seem to forget forms easily, complimented me on my stick form as he said I took to it like a duck to water. So I now actually feel a lot better. I now understand why he was doing that and it was to help me. It makes sense, because why would someone of his skill and experience just neglect me? (20 years). Anyway thanks everyone for your input, your advice and support has been invaluable! May you all achieve what you want out of your training.


Tony

Tony, you learned a VERY valuable lesson...Not about the form, but the fact that you often seem to be way too hard on yourself, underestimate your abilities, and for some reason, seem to think people look down on you when in fact, they really don't. Keep this in mind and build on this experience. Start to believe in yourself, and your whole world will change. I promise. As I said in an earlier post, I know this for sure because a long time ago, I was just like you.

 

[Tony]

Tony, you learned a VERY valuable lesson...Not about the form, but the fact that you often seem to be way too hard on yourself, underestimate your abilities, and for some reason, seem to think people look down on you when in fact, they really don't. Keep this in mind and build on this experience. Start to believe in yourself, and your whole world will change. I promise. As I said in an earlier post, I know this for sure because a long time ago, I was just like you.

Hi Martial

I think you're right! I probably do underestimate myself. A so called friend of mine who is much older and more aggresive than me who has been studying taekwondo for 2 years has made it clear I would'nt fare very well in a fight but then again how would I know myself if I have never had one since I was 17. Well I certainly felt better last night because now I understand why my instructor was leaving me on my own a lot. And I think also I will try some Tai Chi to help me relax as I am a very tense person, plus it would surely benefit my forms and postures.
I thank you again for your positive words, I really needed to hear that.


Tony

 

[Phoenix44]

Here's my suggestion. Talk to your instructor, and tell him the truth: that you're a little unsure of how you're doing, and what direction you're supposed to be taking. You ask him what HE'D like you to be concentrating on right now, and what direction he'd like to see you moving in for the next 6 mos to a year.

This should be helpful. He may say, eg, "Your kicks and punches are looking OK, but I'd like to see your kata a little crisper." Or, "You're a little stiff...when your kata flows a little better, we'll start doing some weapons work." It is VERY unlikely he'll say, "I think you should consider basket-weaving as an alternative."

Right now, you're second guessing yourself AND your instructor, and whipping up a lot of anxiety. You're completely at the mercy of your last lesson: if it goes well, you're happy with the art; if you had a bad session, you're floundering again, and it shouldn't be that way. Whether your lesson is good or bad, you should have some sense of direction, and you don't.

After years of training, if you can't even ask for a simple progress report from your instructor, then you really SHOULD be training elsewhere.