Fla. sheriff seeks portly 'ninja' in theft attempt

Monadnock

2nd Black Belt
Joined
Jan 2, 2006
Messages
717
Reaction score
15
Location
Land-of-the-self-proclaimed-10th-Dan's
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090111/ap_on_fe_st/odd_potbellied_ninja_2

Sun Jan 11, 3:01 pm ET
WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. A ninja, or at least someone dressed like one, is lurking in the shadows of Palm Beach County.
The Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office says a heavyset man with a visible potbelly and a ninja costume unsuccessfully tried to steal two different ATMs over the past two weeks.
 

exile

To him unconquered.
Lifetime Supporting Member
MTS Alumni
Joined
Sep 7, 2006
Messages
10,665
Reaction score
251
Location
Columbus, Ohio
They do relize Nnjas have stealth and cannot be cought.

I agree 100%, Terry. Ninjas are invisible at will...

... but an ATM is not! And I strongly suspect that an ATM machine being lugged around by an invisible Ninja would attract enough attention that the invisibility of the Ninja would be pointless. What good is it to be invisible if you're hefting several hundred pounds of very visible hardware around that virtually screams its identity as a money machine to everyone and his dog??
 

seasoned

MT Senior Moderator
Staff member
Lifetime Supporting Member
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
11,253
Reaction score
1,232
Location
Lives in Texas

grydth

Senior Master
Joined
Jan 13, 2007
Messages
2,464
Reaction score
150
Location
Upstate New York.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090111/ap_on_fe_st/odd_potbellied_ninja_2

Sun Jan 11, 3:01 pm ET
WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. A ninja, or at least someone dressed like one, is lurking in the shadows of Palm Beach County.
The Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office says a heavyset man with a visible potbelly and a ninja costume unsuccessfully tried to steal two different ATMs over the past two weeks.


Nobody is taking this terrible threat seriously enough!

At the height of ninja power during the Tokugawa Shogunate, one could not find a single ATM machine in all the realm.
 

JBrainard

Senior Master
Joined
Jun 27, 2006
Messages
2,436
Reaction score
17
Location
Portland, Oregon
I agree 100%, Terry. Ninjas are invisible at will...

... but an ATM is not! And I strongly suspect that an ATM machine being lugged around by an invisible Ninja would attract enough attention that the invisibility of the Ninja would be pointless. What good is it to be invisible if you're hefting several hundred pounds of very visible hardware around that virtually screams its identity as a money machine to everyone and his dog??

Using his super ninja strength and blinding speed the ATM would be nothing but a blur...
 

Cryozombie

Grandmaster
MTS Alumni
Joined
Feb 11, 2003
Messages
9,998
Reaction score
206
I agree 100%, Terry. Ninjas are invisible at will...

... but an ATM is not! And I strongly suspect that an ATM machine being lugged around by an invisible Ninja would attract enough attention that the invisibility of the Ninja would be pointless. What good is it to be invisible if you're hefting several hundred pounds of very visible hardware around that virtually screams its identity as a money machine to everyone and his dog??

Look. What I do when I steal ATMs in my Ninja Costume is I dress them like a Woman and Tell the people who see them that its my prostitute... Then they all say, "Hmm, she looks like an Atm" and I hit the button and she says "Please select transaction" in that female voice and they go "Oh Ok, sorry to have bothered you"
 

exile

To him unconquered.
Lifetime Supporting Member
MTS Alumni
Joined
Sep 7, 2006
Messages
10,665
Reaction score
251
Location
Columbus, Ohio
Look. What I do when I steal ATMs in my Ninja Costume is I dress them like a Woman and Tell the people who see them that its my prostitute... Then they all say, "Hmm, she looks like an Atm" and I hit the button and she says "Please select transaction" in that female voice and they go "Oh Ok, sorry to have bothered you"

Hmmmm.... could land you in trouble with the authorities, though... have you considered maybe telling them it was a captive Dalek that you were taking back to the tardis for a chronospatial rebuild? I'm dead certain they'd leave you alone if you explained it to them that way...:D
 

Cryozombie

Grandmaster
MTS Alumni
Joined
Feb 11, 2003
Messages
9,998
Reaction score
206
Hmmmm.... could land you in trouble with the authorities, though... have you considered maybe telling them it was a captive Dalek that you were taking back to the tardis for a chronospatial rebuild? I'm dead certain they'd leave you alone if you explained it to them that way...:D

Maybe... if I could convince the ATM to say "Exterminate!" I based my story on the more plausable speech that the ATM used.
 

Lynne

Master of Arts
Joined
May 4, 2007
Messages
1,571
Reaction score
30
Location
Northeast, USA
You sillies. He is overweight and wearing black just like 90% of the rest of the American population. He will blend in effortlessly.
 

grydth

Senior Master
Joined
Jan 13, 2007
Messages
2,464
Reaction score
150
Location
Upstate New York.
You sillies. He is overweight and wearing black just like 90% of the rest of the American population. He will blend in effortlessly.

God bless you for this idea!

Now when my wife na-, er, reminds me I should be losing weight more quickly, I will tell her this current width is all part of my martial arts training regimen!:angel:
 
Top