Female patrons

ilhe4e12345

Green Belt
Joined
Apr 5, 2011
Messages
105
Reaction score
1
Location
NEPA (North Eastern PA)
for female customers, we treated them jsut like the guys...if your gonna act like a guy, your gonna get treated like a guy. One of the new recruits before i left had to deal with a female patron who was...lets jsut say that "special" kind of drunk and she kept making out with the strippers and really trying to go beyond that. At first everyone cheered and laughed and we let it go because it was jsut a kiss....but then she climbed on stage and pulled a stripper down and could have gotten hurt....he went over and told her that she cant do that trying to b as nice as he could. Without any real warning she booted him right in the Jimmy......poor guy dropped and we ended up physically picking this girl up and throwing her outside. Her boyfriend tried to act tuff and swung at me.....i popped his wrist into a lock and dragged him out.....

all in all just remember....just because shes a girl doesnt mean she gets special rules (accept cheaper entrance fee lol) thats about it....
 

Tez3

Sr. Grandmaster
Supporting Member
Joined
Oct 13, 2006
Messages
27,608
Reaction score
4,901
Location
England
for female customers, we treated them jsut like the guys...if your gonna act like a guy, your gonna get treated like a guy. One of the new recruits before i left had to deal with a female patron who was...lets jsut say that "special" kind of drunk and she kept making out with the strippers and really trying to go beyond that. At first everyone cheered and laughed and we let it go because it was jsut a kiss....but then she climbed on stage and pulled a stripper down and could have gotten hurt....he went over and told her that she cant do that trying to b as nice as he could. Without any real warning she booted him right in the Jimmy......poor guy dropped and we ended up physically picking this girl up and throwing her outside. Her boyfriend tried to act tuff and swung at me.....i popped his wrist into a lock and dragged him out.....

all in all just remember....just because shes a girl doesnt mean she gets special rules (accept cheaper entrance fee lol) thats about it....

So, where can we find these male strippers?
 

ilhe4e12345

Green Belt
Joined
Apr 5, 2011
Messages
105
Reaction score
1
Location
NEPA (North Eastern PA)
So, where can we find these male strippers?

we actually use to do random "male stripper nights" and let me tell you....that was jsut...it was different. Im straight and not freaked out by seeing another dudes junk or anything but the first time we did that, there must have been about 100 women at the club.....and the male strippers that the owner had in for that night where probably the most well built men i have ever seen in my life....not super muscles, not fat just lean and built...sorry no pictures, as thats not my thing :) sorry
 

punisher73

Senior Master
Joined
Mar 20, 2004
Messages
3,959
Reaction score
1,056
When they become a problem, they lose the privileges I might ordinarily give their gender. When they become violent or combative... they get dealt with.

I'm old fashioned; I respect women. But I don't let that respect keep me from doing my job, whether that's using force to control them or conducting an effective search. Given a choice, I like to have someone else with me (reduces allegations...) and ideally, a female officer conduct the search.

Before I started in Corrections and then later LE, I always said I wouldn't hit a woman. After working in the field for close to 15 years now, I have altered my stance and view and say "I would never hit a lady". A lady is NEVER going to act in such a manner that I would have to put my hands on her.

As a side note. Most of the injuries I saw that occurred in uses of force in the jail were from women because people didn't want to control their behavior and didn't do what needed to be done and it kept escalating and someone got hurt.

Come along wrist locks are a nice way to escort someone out of a place without looking violent. Especially if you can work as a team with another co-worker to help control.
 

sfs982000

Master Black Belt
Joined
Oct 14, 2009
Messages
1,090
Reaction score
40
Location
Woodbury, MN
I worked briefly as a bouncer, but learned very quickly that I'd much rather deal with 10 drunk guys than 1 drunk female. I also learned very quickly that for the most part that you cannot be the "nice guy" when dealing with either drunk females (or males). I've had to drag more than a few out kicking and screaming from the bar, I just chalked it up being part of the job.
 

Tez3

Sr. Grandmaster
Supporting Member
Joined
Oct 13, 2006
Messages
27,608
Reaction score
4,901
Location
England
I've dealt with drunken violent women before and really don't like it but the worst women ever to deal with were the Greeham Common lot. Far from being the peaceful protestors they claimed to be they were actually quite violent. They actually cut of a soldiers fingertip with a bolt cutter when they were trying to break into the camp by cutting the wire, he had his hands on the wire and they snipped his fingertip off. They were also very dirty and smelt to high heaven. They would also stand in front of the troops guarding the camp ( joint American and British) lift their skirts and pee. Nice. They were totally awful to deal with.
I don't want to alarm those of you concerned about the Wall Street protestors but the Greeham Common lot didn't finish until 2000, 19 years after they started!
 

drop bear

Sr. Grandmaster
Joined
Feb 23, 2014
Messages
23,337
Reaction score
8,070
Necroing threads all over the place.

One thing that was not mentioned. Use two guys. Either grab both her arms is a technical ninja hold. ( I have a figure four arm grab thing)
Or just grab her arms. Walk her out. Then she can't hit you and that does not start an escalation which winds up making you look bad.

I do have a one up escort but it is difficult to explain.
Get around to her back. Overhook both arms. Use one arm to grab her elbow. So you have one arm controlling both of hers. Walk her out.

It looks nice and you have good control.
 

wingchun100

Senior Master
Joined
Sep 2, 2013
Messages
3,300
Reaction score
525
Location
Troy NY
You will have to treat them the same as if they were male. If they are kicking off they have to be treated in the same way, as seasoned said the restraints work on limbs not limbs by gender.
However women will often fight more than men so be prepared to be kicked in the groin (learn to avoid), they will go for the eyes as well as scratch and bite. You also have to keep an eye out for males who want to 'defend' a female. Often though you will find it the other way around, you will be dealing with a bloke and his female will start on you as well. The worse scenario is when you try to separate a warring couple often where the woman is being hit and the pair of them turn on you, that's a bit weird and very off putting.

Drunk women are awful, I always get them as my male colleagues pass them on to me. Try to have a colleague with you when you deal with women, not always possible but always good to have a witness.

I think in this day and age a bouncer has to worry more about what might happen AFTER the female patron was removed. By that I mean, "He grabbed my boob. Is that necessary to get me out of the club?" LOL
 

Transk53

The Dark Often Prevails
Supporting Member
Joined
Apr 19, 2013
Messages
4,220
Reaction score
836
Location
England 43 Anno Domini
I worked briefly as a bouncer, but learned very quickly that I'd much rather deal with 10 drunk guys than 1 drunk female. I also learned very quickly that for the most part that you cannot be the "nice guy" when dealing with either drunk females (or males). I've had to drag more than a few out kicking and screaming from the bar, I just chalked it up being part of the job.

Sorry, I have to disagree with the "cannot be the nice guy" If you take charge of the situation even before you respond, you approach and offer a friendly ear. I have defused many simmering situations and walked them out without further incident. If they have kicked off, then yes being nice is not going to work, but the job is not just being heavy handed.
 

Prostar

Green Belt
Joined
Jul 28, 2012
Messages
106
Reaction score
37
Location
Baltimore
If the problem has already escalated to the physical, then you are already late to the game. My favorite bar, back in the day, had a simple policy. Once the arguing started, the "public relations people" went over and said that the manager would like a word over here where it is more quiet. "Over Here" was always near the door. Once there, the noisemakers were escorted out the door. They were not allowed back in to get anything. Someone else had to bring it out.
My son just finished working at a bar/restaurant as the door person. He was always accompanied by an armed police officer outside the door. I never got to see him work but it basically involved a bum's rush where you get them up on their toes and moving forward till you get out the door.
 

Transk53

The Dark Often Prevails
Supporting Member
Joined
Apr 19, 2013
Messages
4,220
Reaction score
836
Location
England 43 Anno Domini
If the problem has already escalated to the physical, then you are already late to the game. My favorite bar, back in the day, had a simple policy. Once the arguing started, the "public relations people" went over and said that the manager would like a word over here where it is more quiet. "Over Here" was always near the door. Once there, the noisemakers were escorted out the door. They were not allowed back in to get anything. Someone else had to bring it out.
My son just finished working at a bar/restaurant as the door person. He was always accompanied by an armed police officer outside the door. I never got to see him work but it basically involved a bum's rush where you get them up on their toes and moving forward till you get out the door.

Yeah normal MO as to how you deal with the initial confrontation. It is not difficult to deal with females in the main. Sadly a lack of female door staff over here, so it makes it difficult to do the job politically, rather than anything else.
 

Mad_Dog

Yellow Belt
Joined
Apr 22, 2015
Messages
35
Reaction score
4
I don't know what to tell you bro, I never have any problems with the ladies. The sight of my 6'3" muscular body is enough to turn the troublesome female patron into a quivering plate of jello.
 

Jenna

Senior Master
MT Mentor
Joined
Apr 30, 2006
Messages
3,470
Reaction score
713
Location
Cluj
I don't know what to tell you bro, I never have any problems with the ladies. The sight of my 6'3" muscular body is enough to turn the troublesome female patron into a quivering plate of jello.
Irrespective of whatever else you are up to on here.. thank you for giving me a proper laugh today :) x
 

Mad_Dog

Yellow Belt
Joined
Apr 22, 2015
Messages
35
Reaction score
4
Irrespective of whatever else you are up to on here.. thank you for giving me a proper laugh today :) x
Uhhh...thanks I guess. I'm not sure what's supposed to be funny in my post, but perhaps you could explain it to me over a drink some night.
 

drop bear

Sr. Grandmaster
Joined
Feb 23, 2014
Messages
23,337
Reaction score
8,070
Good professional restraints work on girls. And honestly if you can package the girl up well so it doesn't get silly. Nobody really cares.

One of the tricks with girls is not to show aggression. So even if you are scrapping with them smile,laugh play the crowd off as if it was a joke.

I wrestled a girl last night who snatched my radio because I had refused her at the door.
 

RowdyAz

Orange Belt
Joined
Jun 17, 2015
Messages
69
Reaction score
17
Women get treated as equal, gender doesn't come in to play when rules are broken
 

JP3

Master Black Belt
Supporting Member
Joined
Dec 19, 2015
Messages
1,388
Reaction score
701
Location
Houston
The advice given above about speaking to them and reminding them that the courtesy given to a woman has reached its end is very good. The optimum time to get involved in a problem is right when it is starting, which is easier to say than to do, I get it. Simply "arriving" on the scene (they generally don't notice anyone except the person who is offending them or working them up, male or female), and simply stating something non-confrontational like, "Is everyone OK over here?" Works well, even if it sounds dumb. It gives them the opportunity to turn something which was about to go physical into a verbal thing wherein they plead their respective cases... hopefully to someone they look on as a person with authority.

But, sometimes that doesn't work or you are not in time to get it to work and the physical is required. I always found that if someone moved in the slightest way aggressively towards me when I was working the floor - and I had established who, or rather What, I am while working (paid security) and I immediately moved in, quartered them, and simply took their balance with something unexpected (do NOT swing) the situation was almost always over, right there. It's difficult to fight when you are sort of standing on one leg, off balance and bent one way or the other just a bit. If they try to flail, you control them and apply pain, but try very hard to not injure, you expose your establishment to lawsuits - which are expensive to defend even if they do not win.

But, treat female patrons just like male ones when they get out of line. Perhaps, with even a bit more respect as women simply don't react as men do, they are not trained in bluff/reaction cycles the way men, rather boys, are in early school.
 

drop bear

Sr. Grandmaster
Joined
Feb 23, 2014
Messages
23,337
Reaction score
8,070
I will have to video my funky girl lock. It works a treat.
 

Millie Sable

White Belt
Joined
Jun 26, 2016
Messages
5
Reaction score
0
Being a woman myself, I don't like seeing women who misbehaves. Approaching them with respect can help tame them, avoid using harsh words as it would provoke them more and avoid touching or physically assaulting them as much as you can cause you'll be in a lot of trouble if you do so.
 

Latest Discussions

Top