Doctor, Can I get HIV from . . . . ?

[hardheadjarhead]

Problem: HIV virus is not self-ambulatory. Rides piggy back on particles that are larger than it is...too big, it turns out, to seep through the glove. It is also later discovered that merely laying viral shells against a tissue layer is insufficient for infection. Takes a "vector force injection" beyond a voilated tissue barrier to cause infection.

Well, not to brag, but some of us just might HAVE that vector force injection, pal.

Seriously, though...condoms are made of latex. Balloons are made of latex. The helium atom is, I suspect, somewhat smaller than the HIV virus. Note how long it takes for the latex helium balloons you got on your wedding anniversary to deflate.

If you're wearing a condom, therefore, and assuming it doesn't break, you'd have to leave the condom on and remain inserted in your partner for about a dozen hours before the virus somehow crossed the membrane in any appreciable numbers to cause infection. All this of course without the pressures of inflation that helium exerts on latex...or for you lesser men, the pressure of vector force injection.

Now...I don't know about you, but the women with whom I've been intimate aren't all that keen about leaving the male member thus inserted for most of the weekend. And don't think I haven't tried.

Remaining thus joined is somewhat incapacitating when trying to carry on with one's daily affairs. Shopping in Kroger's is exceedingly difficult and at the very least raises a few eyebrows.


Regards,


Steve

 

[rmcrobertson]

OK, THAT was f-uped and brilliant enough a post--complete with Kroger's reference!--that I wish I'd made it.

And previously, I had only been gladsome to read this thread and discover that wadded-up toilet paper is a soverign cure 'gainst all ills.

 

[Kembudo-Kai Kempoka]

Is it dangerous to be the butt of jokes on an HIV-related topic thread? Could it be contagious?

Butt seriously...I'm glad to see Robert tickled.

D.

 

[michaeledward]

From some of the posts ... and from the Distinguished Gentleman's Comments, you might be led to believe that HIV is a new and unknown infection. About which we know so very little.

We don't know if it can be transmitted via human tears or persperation.

We don't know if it is safe to use a public toilet.

And hell, if it's not safe to have continuous sexual relations for the weekend, what the hell did they make See Alice for?

Doesn't anyone remember Hawkeye Pierce fighting the premise that 'It's in the Blood' ?

Oh well.

 

[Feisty Mouse]

Is it dangerous to be the butt of jokes on an HIV-related topic thread? Could it be contagious?

Butt seriously...I'm glad to see Robert tickled.

D.

:lol:

and me too

 

[LT2002]

I'm still pretty sure that holding hands can make you pregnant.

Regards,

Dr. David W. Crouch

Only if the girl forgets to jump up and down after they are finished holding hands

 

[Feisty Mouse]

Only if the girl forgets to jump up and down after they are finished holding hands

*gasp*!

:xtrmshock

:roflmao:

 

[hardheadjarhead]

OK, THAT was f-uped and brilliant enough a post--complete with Kroger's reference!--that I wish I'd made it.

"Theng yew," he said in an affected cultured accent.



Regards,


Steve

 

[Gin-Gin]

Well, not to brag, but some of us just might HAVE that vector force injection, pal. Seriously, though...condoms are made of latex. Balloons are made of latex. The helium atom is, I suspect, somewhat smaller than the HIV virus. Note how long it takes for the latex helium balloons you got on your wedding anniversary to deflate. If you're wearing a condom, therefore, and assuming it doesn't break, you'd have to leave the condom on and remain inserted in your partner for about a dozen hours before the virus somehow crossed the membrane in any appreciable numbers to cause infection. All this of course without the pressures of inflation that helium exerts on latex...or for you lesser men, the pressure of vector force injection. Now...I don't know about you, but the women with whom I've been intimate aren't all that keen about leaving the male member thus inserted for most of the weekend. And don't think I haven't tried.
Remaining thus joined is somewhat incapacitating when trying to carry on with one's daily affairs. Shopping in Kroger's is exceedingly difficult and at the very least raises a few eyebrows.
Regards, Steve

Oh Steve....:rofl:

Is it dangerous to be the butt of jokes on an HIV-related topic thread? Could it be contagious?

Good one, Dr. Dave...:rofl: