Crapping all over your dreams...

She just saw me spar, and opened her big mouth after to tell me that I suck.
True, more constructive criticism would be better. As in 'your guard work sucks' or 'you suck because your footwork is too linear'.

Unfortunately, even this level of criticism, is too much to ask of most people. Let it go. The most important type of criticism is the stuff you seek out from those who know the subject.

Criticism is useful if it helps you learn, and useless if it just cuts you down. Still, 'Your great' is the worst type of criticism if you think about it ....
Originally posted by jfarnsworth
It probably happens more than you know. I always hear; won't you quit that crap already or my favorite; what are you ever going to do with this stuff. Just my pet peeves.
When I was growing up, I used to hear that from my Dad all the time...."Why don't you quit wasting your time with that Karate crap..." The statement always diverged from there. Now here we are, 20 years later and he is now not only supportive but brags to his friends when I can't hear him.......
Originally posted by Seig
That, sir, is a lie.
We encourage you every chance we get.

Gee, I don't know. I 've received so many" Boots to the Groin" that my memory's been affected:(
In my third year of engineering school (long ago in a place far, far away) I had an English teacher/counselor tell me I wouldn't make it through to graduation. I have forgotten why. I remember walking home to my apartment. I usually took the bus. I was so pissed off that I broke my mechnical pencil flexing it in my fingers.

I finished my degree, have licenses as a Professional Engineer and a Professional Land Surveyor and have always wondered if she read me and knew this was my motivation trigger.

GO FOR IT. You will never regret the attempt.

"I will not blame the monk. I will blame the nun when the monk can hear, then he will feel his shame"

This works with praise too. I caught my son out of the corner of my eye once, when I was bragging about him. You should have seen him puff up. He was about 7 years old. Now he is a 6 foot 2 inch Eagle Scout/ Honor Student. Yeah I brag him up a little.
i was testing for my green belt in shotokan karate (many moons back..LOL), and the judges failed me. one of the instructors said my moves "looked like crap". man was i devistated. i thought this was the best test i had performed so far. what i really couldn't understand is how the head instructor said to the testing brown belts that he should not have passed them but he did anyway.

i was like.... hello!!! green / brown... big difference in my book! i know how you feel. being that i thought the school was rather unfair i switched to a different one, but i continued my studies. i proved them wrong in my opinion as i now hold a 2nd dan and it was not given to me by someone who didn't think i should pass, but passed me anyway!
Originally posted by chaosomega
This 'freind' of mine was driving me home this one day after watching me spar with some buddies. She told me that I should forget about my dream of competing in the mixed martial arts. She didn't think I could cut it.

:rpo: :snipe2: :rpo:

But instead of discouraging me, this only made me angry, then it gave me motivation to prove her wrong.

Has anybody else had an experience like this? How did you deal with it?


Ignore 'em, or just move on. Nobody has the ability to tell you that you are not "cut out" for anything. Sometimes some things will come harder than other things, and maybe that's true for you in MMA, or for me in Capoeira, or for x person in anything. But I've seen disabled people become brown and black belts, not because they were pitied or looked down upon, but because they CHOSE to soldier on and become the best.

My point, then, is to say that while this friend of yours may not think you are cut out for MMA, that does not mean that you are not cut out for it. You can turn it around, and keep going, and suceed. It's a matter of mind, not matter (pardon the pun). So ignore 'em, work your butt off, and become the best, man, 'cuz if you want it, you can do it, if you're willing to work at it.

All the best, don't worry about what she said, or just sit down and try to work it out with her, if it's what you really want to do, and try to reach a compromise. Maybe "no fights with Tank Abbott" or something? :p

Seriously, though, you've got all our support behind you, man. One of the things you gotta love about MT.
Let's face it, some people live to be wet blankets. While some offer useful criticism, others offer what they claim is useful just to give themselves an outlet for their negativity. My advice (freely given and worth every penny) is to set your own course, and stick to it as long as YOU feel it's right. It's your life, after all. If you need help in fending off the emotional vampires, try a book called "Thick Face, Black Heart".

Trying to avoid life's potholes,
Randy Strausbaugh

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