Comedy Belt Definitions

Bob Hubbard

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I've been playing with this idea a while.... The -real- meaning of a belt rank.

White Belt - I can go "HIYA!" real loud....then give ya my cash.

Yellow Belt - I finally leaned how to tie this thing. It got tiring tripping over it.


Can ya add a few more? :D
 
Why is it most orgaizations want you to stay at the "white belt" rank? Oh yeah, they want the cash!:mad:
 
Too True.

What is the fastest way to become a "Black" Belt?

Ans - do a lot of mat work, and never wash your "white" belt. :)
 
The university club I'm in is run by a TKD instructor who also teaches some of his own students before the club meetings. His organization recently added two new belt colors. There was no change in curriculum, as far as I know, just an addition of more belts.

Talking to one of his students, I found out that if she had tested just a week or so later, instead of earning her green belt, she would have gotten a lower ranked orange belt. I find this to be extremely ridiculous and see it as just a ruse to get more money from the students. Remarkably, I kept my mouth shut about that, seeing as it really wasn't any of my business.

I wish we'd go by the traditional Japanese system, with no belt ranks, but I don't see that working too well in North America...the U.S. in particular. The older ranking system of just white-green-brown-black would be just as well. I know Bujinkan ninjutsu used that system when my buddy was training in that style.

From what I've read, my system originally didn't have a colored belt ranking system as we know it now. There were simply white belted students and black belt instructors. Now, we have white-yellow-purple-blue-green-brown-black, which is quite a few colors, but nowhere near as many as I've seen elsewhere. There is a trace of the old ranking in the existing system in that black belts are allowed to teach and give rank, unlike most systems where only higher level black belts can give rank, though lower ranks can still teach. We're also a bit odd in that dan-levels were eliminated some time back. After getting a black belt, seniority is established by 'time served', the amount and types of kata learned, and overall understanding of the system.

But I've babbled yet again and there is nothing funny about my reply. So I shut up now.

Cthulhu
 
Was 1 of the belts that system added Pink with Purple Polka-Dots? :D

Now thats Funny.
 
I know of a local TKD school that has a buttload of belts. Right down to a camoflage belt. It's a cash grab for sure. But people seem to like the belts.

Another local Kenpo school divided the ranks up into half belts. Not bad to see where people are and also it makes more money too.

It's just a matter of the instruction. is it good or bad? A McDojo is not good for anyone.
 
McDojo? LOL.... Ronald the Clown as a martial artist.... whats he got? a "Mustard" belt in Fry-Yung-Foo? <G>

half belts, quarter belts, rainbow belts....all seems like simple greed to me. Like having reg. schedualed "test" nights, yet no one ever seems to fail these tests. Oh, but thats another $30 for the school. I prefer those that test when they feel you are ready, not when they need the beer money. :D

just my 2 cents. :)
 
Yeah, that my name for them. "McDojo." Where there are schedule test nights. Nobody fails. The fees get paid, people grade up and Sensei goes on vacation. Funny how a lot of people grade around vacation time.

For a lot of people it's a business. For a lot of people it's an art. The trick is to find the proper middle ground.
 
My instructor never tested us until he thought we were ready, or we told him we were ready.

Once, another student was testing, but I still had to do everything I knew as though I was being tested. Since I still felt uncomfortable about a few of my requirements, I had elected not to be tested. My instructor graded me anyway without telling me. After the test was over (the other fella passed), my instructor told me he graded me and asked me if I considered what I had just done was a test. If I answered no, the results would be ignored and he wouldn't let me know how bad or good I performed. If I answered yes, he'd tell me how I had done. For the hell of it, I answered yes and was surprised that I had done better than I had on previous tests. Guess the luxury of 'not testing' helped me perform without any anxiety which led to a better performance.

By the way, that TKD organization I mentioned? $45 per test every 8 weeks. They have their rainbow of belt colors, as well as 'senior' grades for each belt color. In my system, we had our belt colors, with two stripes per belt. However, belt tests were only $20 (whenever we were ready) and stripe tests were only $5. If you did well enough on a stripe test (essentially earning the next full belt rank), you just paid for the belt test ($20) and didn't have to pay for the two stripe tests you'd normally have to take. I seem to recall my instructor waiving the fee for one of my belt tests. Can't remember why. Our black belt test was free. The mentality was that you didn't pay for your black belt, you earned it, dagnabbit!:)

Which reminds me...I seem to remember reading that JKA Shotokan charges black belt candidates for each dan test, the costs (supposedly for registration and other fees...what, I have no idea) going up quite a bit for each dan rank. According to this source, pretty much anyone could take a dan test as long as they could prove they had been training for at least three years. I find that rather...odd. I dunno...maybe I'm just old, crotchety, and set in my ways.

Dammit, I've rambled again. So sorry.

Cthulhu
 
Originally posted by Kaith Rustaz
I've been playing with this idea a while.... The -real- meaning of a belt rank.

White Belt - I can go "HIYA!" real loud....then give ya my cash.

Yellow Belt - I finally leaned how to tie this thing. It got tiring tripping over it.


Can ya add a few more? :D
Orange Belt - This damned thing hurts the eyes so bad, no one can see how bad I really look.

Purple Belt -Hey! This blends with my fresh bruises!

Blue Belt- Hey! This blends with those fading bruises

Green Belt-Geez! Enough with the damned bruises

Brown Belt- Great, now that I have seen what happens to upper belts, I get a belt that blends with my underwear.
 
Originally posted by Kaith Rustaz
half belts, quarter belts, rainbow belts....all seems like simple greed to me.

This may not be the case here with you Kaith but a lot of people on this forum seem to badmouth any form of commercial martial arts.

Did Bruce Lee do his movies for free? If there were no commercial schools in the US then how many of us would be in a martial art? But I digress...

What I wanted to say is that our studio uses stripes as "half belts." They are "progress checks" and motivators as Gou pointed out, it helps you more readily see who is where/who knows what.

There is no charge for a Stripe test. Tests are regularly scheduled at our studio. People fail. You only test after you pass a pre-test that you are invited to take. Mr. Duffy does not make much money from a belt test and he does not make any money from a stripe test. This could be looked at as a free 1 hour review in some cases.

Just thought I'd chime in. Mr. Parker outlined his belt ranking system in Infinite Insights Book 1. They should be to measure progress, indicate your place on the roadmap, and motivate you toward a goal that you can be focused on. A lot of people on the board seem to think that belts=money.

I know TKD is bad about this. I have seen several examples. I just thought I'd chime in this time about the Half Belts. I think these stripes are also prescribed in Book One. But I'm not going to look.
 
Originally posted by ...
I know of a local TKD school that has a buttload of belts. Right down to a camoflage belt. It's a cash grab for sure. But people seem to like the belts.

A CAMO MA belt! Cool!! I want one of those!!! How much?
:eek: :idunno:

That sorta reminds me of the San Diego Padres' alternate uniforms that they wear on special occasions when they invite the military to their home baseball games... :rolleyes:
 
If it's Camo, then they won't see it. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I'm trying to find a school that has neon belts.....:D
 
Hey, now.....we have camo belts as part of our curriculum. Really.

They are for the Little Dragons--it's an intermediate belt between white and yellow. The little guys need to be able to do two techniques during their test, as well as demonstrate two kicks and two hand strikes, as well as the basic stances to earn the belt.

We do, however, carry them in adult sizes, just in case. :) I want to get one, because it will go so well with my camo ninja outfit.

As far as some of the "video dojo" schools are concerned:

Black = "Hey, my check cleared!!"

:D

Peace--
 

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