Blonde Ranchers

[Cryozombie]

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home." The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.

She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.."
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word." Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left, so she'll only be able to send her sister one word.
After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word "comfortable."
The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever
going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, 'comfortable?'" The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word's big. She'll read it slowly - "Com-for-da-bul".

 

[Seig]

I will refrain from making and sick and disgusting remarks about how she is liable to translate that!

 

[jfarnsworth]

I thought it was kind of funny.

 

[tonbo]

I will refrain from making and sick and disgusting remarks about how she is liable to translate that!

Uh.....thanks!!

Hehe



Peace--

 

[andurilking2]

as in an orgasm?

 

[andurilking2]

well she is blonde.....

 

[Randy Strausbaugh]

Following a tragic accident, a man finds to his extreme grief that his beloved wife has been declared brain dead. Unable to part with her completely, he asks the doctors if a brain transplant is possible, enabling him to at least retain the outer form if not the inner essence of his spouse.

The doctors reply that an experimental procedure is available, but it is very expensive. They explain that at that moment, in the ER, are two women, one a blonde and one a redhead, who have just been involved in a boating accident. While the damage to their bodies is irreparable, their brains are, for the time being, in working order.

"Just how much money are we talking about?" asks the man, knowing that his insurance would never cover such an unproven procedure.

"You can have the redhead's brain for $100,000," comes the reply, "but the blonde's brain will cost you $500,000".

"Why such a difference in price?" the husband asks.

"Because the redhead's brain is used."

Trying to avoid life's potholes,
Randy Strausbaugh

 

[KatGurl]

both those jokes are good!

 

[Disco]

From the Blonde Flight attendent: "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you for flying SW airlines and remember, nobody loves you or your more than us"..........

The airlines had a policy that after landing, the pilot or co-pilot will stand at the door to wish the passengers a thanks for flying with us as they exited the plane. After a really hard landing, the co-pilot hard a real hard time looking the passengers in the face as they were leaving, thinking that someone would have a really smart comment. Almost everyone was off except for this little old lady. As she approached the co-pilot, she stopped and said "can I ask you a question young man". The pilot smiled and said why of course, what is it? The little old lady smiled and said,"did we land or were we shot down"?

After takeoff, the pilot came on the intercom and started his announcements.
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain and welcome to flight number 293, nonstop from N.Y. to L.A. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now just sit back and relax.....OH MY GOD!.........then silence. After a couple of minutes, the pilot came back on the intercom and said, "I am sorry if I scared you earlier". While I was talking to you the flight attendent spilled hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants...... A passenger in coach yelled, "that's nothing man, you should see the back of mine".......

Now for truth in advertising - From the pilot at the beginning of his announcements. "Delta airlines is pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!".............
:rofl:

 

[arnisador]

Threads merged.

-Arnisador
-MT Admin-

 

[Randy Strausbaugh]

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks to speak to the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title, and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
The bank president and all its officers enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The blonde replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

 

[Cryozombie]

Heh heh. That was some smart thinking.

 

[Kimpatsu]

Why are blond jokes so dumb?
So that brunettes can understand them.