Best piece of office equipment in a self defense situation?

[Rich Parsons]

Well Paul Trumped me with the "Gun".

I used to have some conduit piping in my cube. It made for a nice training stick. Problem is that it kept disapearing.

 

[MardiGras Bandit]

The blade from a paper cutter would be nice, if you could wrench it off. A powerstrip swung above the head could make a nice flail, or at least a silly one...

A pinkslip?

 

[masherdong]

Throw your boss at them. lol

 

[still learning]

Hello, Just wanted to add this...Paper weights...most time they are small and heavy....great to throw at someone to slow them down.....Aloha

 

[bobster_ice]

A pen made out of titanium!!!!

 

[bobster_ice]

Throw your boss at them. lol

lmao!

 

[Jenna]

Ok sitting at the office has led me to the idea of if I had to grab one piece of something quickly from my desk to defend myself..what would it be?

Looking around there are some many fun things.

1) Scotch tape dispenser. Has a nice little teeth thing on the front for grinding into someone and a nice weight to it for a good old smack.

2) Inbox: Nice a sturdy wire mess that could be a nice shield or deflector

3) Inner office memo envelopes: Bright and yellow, so could be good for throwing up to distract.

4) Rubber stamp: Nice and sturdy fistpack with the added bonus of leaving a guaranteed mark. Nothing like a big PAID or RECEIVED stamp to show you mean business.

5) Scissors: Need we go on?

6) Staple Remover: Just a little pinch of that bad boy will do a lot of damage.

7) Stapler: Open that guy up and use as a nice baton while giving your attacker a nice staple in the *** to remember you by.

What others can you guys think of?

Hey Beau ya big samurai of the stapler , what the h3ll sort of office do you work in?? If these martial thoughts like yours constitute part of normal office life: using your boss as a human shield, your ballpoints as throwing darts and your Coca Cola as makeshift pepperspray, then all I can say is thank the lord I work a proper job AND I'd love to be a fly on the wall in your weekly team "meetings", any disagreements must be, um... eventful, ha!

Just jokin wid ya! You just keep practising that coffee cup kata, you never know who's lurking at the coffee machine waiting to garotte you with their mouse cable *sideways glances*

Yr most obdt hmble srvt,
Jenna

 

[MJS]

I wouldn't escalate it to throwing objects when you don't have to. Using you fists and kicking is more effective than throwing hole punches anyway.

Throwing something can serve as a distraction to buy you some time for an escape.

As for the topic of discussion...I can't really think of anything that hasn't already been mentioned. It really is amazing at how many everyday items we have around us as potential tools to use!:ultracool

Mike

 

[beau_safken]

Hey Beau ya big samurai of the stapler , what the h3ll sort of office do you work in?? If these martial thoughts like yours constitute part of normal office life: using your boss as a human shield, your ballpoints as throwing darts and your Coca Cola as makeshift pepperspray, then all I can say is thank the lord I work a proper job AND I'd love to be a fly on the wall in your weekly team "meetings", any disagreements must be, um... eventful, ha!

Just jokin wid ya! You just keep practising that coffee cup kata, you never know who's lurking at the coffee machine waiting to garotte you with their mouse cable *sideways glances*

Yr most obdt hmble srvt,
Jenna

When you work for a .com, its one nightmare after another . I like the title thou... Sweet...

 

[Rich Parsons]

The blade from a paper cutter would be nice, if you could wrench it off. A powerstrip swung above the head could make a nice flail, or at least a silly one...

A pinkslip?

I did not mention the paper cutter as I do not want anyone to remove it from my office.

 

[Lisa]

Pot of hot coffee in the face would be good if you can get to it.