Well, they can get kinda heavy, man! Far out.
Bad Joke thread.
- Thread starter bydand
- Start date
Little girl to little boy: "Can I touch yours?"
Little boy to little girl: "Hell no! You broke yours off!"
Little boy to little girl: "Hell no! You broke yours off!"
Then she runs home crying to her mom about how she doesn't have one and her mother says, "Don't worry; when you're older you can have as many as you want."
A priest, a rabbi, and George Bush walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"
thardey
Master Black Belt
That's because they are really bad!
In fact, they are so bad, I can't even explain them.
Lynne
Master of Arts
Since the kids are in grade school:
What's the biggest pen in the world? Pennsylvania
Young ones find that amusing. Honest.
What's the biggest pen in the world? Pennsylvania
Young ones find that amusing. Honest.
Lynne
Master of Arts
Depending on their ages and if you think it's appropriate, they can try saying this rhyme. The key is to say it very fast. I'm sure they will die laughing for years. My nephews thought it was hilarious. Boys!
One smart fella and he felt smart
Two smart fellas and they felt smart
Three smart fellas and they all felt smart.
If you are from the south, it makes more sense to say "feller."
Oh, if you can't figure it out, trying saying it aloud fast
Don't tell your wife that some lady at Martial Arts planted this one.
One smart fella and he felt smart
Two smart fellas and they felt smart
Three smart fellas and they all felt smart.
If you are from the south, it makes more sense to say "feller."
Oh, if you can't figure it out, trying saying it aloud fast
Don't tell your wife that some lady at Martial Arts planted this one.
Kennedy_Shogen_Ryu
Blue Belt
This honestly has to be one of the worst jokes ever as told to me by my manager at work.....
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
Hey, Where's my tractor!?
Terrible I know!
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
Hey, Where's my tractor!?
Terrible I know!
lulflo
Blue Belt
Two cannibals were eating a clown, one said to the other, "does this taste funny to you?"
Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
To hide in cherry trees...
Why are elephant's feet flat?
From jumping out of cherry trees of course.
What do you call the dirt between elephant's toes?
Slow natives.
Two fish were in a tank...
One said, "you man the guns, I'll drive"
Be well and Farang - Larry
Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
To hide in cherry trees...
Why are elephant's feet flat?
From jumping out of cherry trees of course.
What do you call the dirt between elephant's toes?
Slow natives.
Two fish were in a tank...
One said, "you man the guns, I'll drive"
Be well and Farang - Larry
Why does Michael Jackson like 28 year olds?
Because there's 20 of them.
(from Robin Williams Live In New York): "... remember, at Neverland you must be THIS high to ride Michael."
How's that for bad jokes?
Because there's 20 of them.
(from Robin Williams Live In New York): "... remember, at Neverland you must be THIS high to ride Michael."
How's that for bad jokes?
A gas station owner in Fox Lake was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a sign that read, "Free Sex with Fill-Up."
Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly he would get his free sex. The redneck guessed 8, and the proprietor said, "You were close. The number was 7.... sorry, no sex
this time."
A week later, the same redneck, along with a buddy, Bubba, pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again asked him to guess the correct number. The redneck guessed 2 this time. The proprietor said, "Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time."
As they were driving away, the redneck said to his buddy, "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex." Bubba replied, " No it ain't, Billy Ray. It ain't rigged. My wife won twice last week.
Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly he would get his free sex. The redneck guessed 8, and the proprietor said, "You were close. The number was 7.... sorry, no sex
this time."
A week later, the same redneck, along with a buddy, Bubba, pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again asked him to guess the correct number. The redneck guessed 2 this time. The proprietor said, "Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time."
As they were driving away, the redneck said to his buddy, "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex." Bubba replied, " No it ain't, Billy Ray. It ain't rigged. My wife won twice last week.
CoryKS
Senior Master
Why was 6 scared?
Because 7 8 9.
Why yes, I do have an eight-year-old.
Because 7 8 9.
Why yes, I do have an eight-year-old.
To the dungeon you go! :btg: :whip:
JBrainard
Senior Master
A guy walks into a bar and sits down next to another guy. He looks over and sees that in the corner there is a dog sitting there licking it's nuts. He says to the guy next to him; "Man, I wish I could do that." The other guy replies; "Well, if you go over there and pat him on the head, maybe he'll let you."
A piece of string walks into a bar, the bartender was angry and shouted: "Hey! We don't serve string in here" and stomps on the string and throws it back out on to the street. The string gets picked up by a street cleaner and manages to get itself loose two blocks later. As it limps back into the bar the bartender notices and shouts: "Hey aren't you that string that I just tossed outta here?"
"No," said the string, "I'm a-frayed-knot!"
"No," said the string, "I'm a-frayed-knot!"
