Advice, guidance, motivation...

[Elbowgrease]

So I have a serious question, or maybe several serious questions. I'm not totally sure how to say it, where I should put it, maybe even what it is I'm trying to ask.
I'm going to apologize, first, if this sounds like a sob story. It is. I'm probably going to leave out a lot of details, because they really just don't need to be thrown out in public.
I'm having a hard time staying motivated, getting motivated. Keeping going. I had a really incredible Sifu, and he died about year ago. Every time I start to question him, things I think might have been lacking, things that maybe could have been different, I find something somewhere that jumps up and smacks me. He covered that. Covered it pretty extensively. It might not have ever been said or talked about, but it got beaten to death in training a thousand times. At least with what we did. Some of it we didn't do at all. No sparring, no grappelling. We trained on a waxed concrete floor in cotton soled shoes, who is trying to get thrown onto that?
Most of the last year and a half I haven't been training, for a lot of reasons. I've been travelling out of the area, for one, and some others I'm just not going to talk about. I have practiced, but not the 3, 4, 5, 6 hours per day I was doing before.
His wife keeps the gym open. Believe it or not, he physically stopped her from going to turn the keys in to the landlord (even though he's dead...). I'm out there every day, but among the countless students that have trained there in the past, there are only four of us now. And none of us ever qualified to teach. I don't even see the other people who still train. I know that they've been there, but we just don't actually cross paths. So motivating myself to workout for hours on end and do the Tai Chi form for hours on end on top of that every day alone is getting difficult.
I really have no reason to be in this area other than to be there every day, but I don't know if it's worth it right now. If I might be better off heading out to somewhere else to see what else I can add to what I've got.
Just not really sure what to do now.
If this is all too much, let me know. Or delete this post, or whatever. I'm really not looking to create an issue. What would you do?

 

[donald1]

I'm going to start off by saying that must have been a tragic loss, he sounds like a great person ; may he know peace

If your still able to talk to the remaining students it would be wise to find another Sifu to train with. I'm sure your sifu would want you to continue and further your training. Don't give up believe in Your Self and the others around you. A good start for motivation find a specific thing you can always trust maybe that is with family or friends. For me my motivation is what I've done, I've been in martial arts for 5 years and know a lot more than before I started i know I've made progress and will keep making more progress (that is my motivation)
But the funny thing is the stuff that motivates people comes in all shapes and sizes ; or another way of putting it some things motivate some people, others things motivate others
Don't beat up on your self! There's no bad posts, you learn from all of them :uhyeah:
Just one last piece of advice, don't focus on negative, think positive find your self a good dojo and sifu maybe even bring your friends

 

[Instructor]

I would organize the remaining students and get the one who has done it the longest and designate him the club leader and then set up a training schedule and get everybody together and practice. You have a space, you have people, now just make it happen. You could locate another teacher and have them in occassionally for refresher seminars.