Self Defense for Women

[drop bear]

Maybe this is a little too philosophical, but if something is predetermined, is it controlled or uncontrolled? I guess it depends on whether you are the one who predetermined the outcome, or are being controlled by it.

In a terminator no fate kind of way?

 

[Steve]

In a terminator no fate kind of way?

Yeah. Exactly.

 

[JowGaWolf]

Maybe this is a little too philosophical, but if something is predetermined, is it controlled or uncontrolled? I guess it depends on whether you are the one who predetermined the outcome, or are being controlled by it.

I'm only speaking on the action and not the outcome. Outcomes can change even when the action is controlled. My actions don't guarantee what the outcome will be, things don't always go as planned regardless of if I throw a punch or not.

 

[Steve]

If your actions are predetermined, how much control do you really have over them?

 

[JowGaWolf]

Creating a rational to excuse your response is not the same as having control over your response

Definition of predetermine: to determine beforehand
Where is the excuse? what is the excuse? You create a "rational excuse" to excuse your response so are you telling me that you don't have control over how you handle yourself in a self-defense situation?

Control isn't determine by how gentile or how brutal someone responds in a self-defense situation. Control is about whether the person determines to take a specific action or not.

 

[JowGaWolf]

If your actions are predetermined, how much control do you really have over them?

Because predetermined is what you choose. Don't take "fate" definition of predetermined when some powerful force has already decided what will happen to you. That is totally something different than what I'm talking about.

 

[JowGaWolf]

For women, learn how to separate the self-defense mindset from the sporting mindset.

 

[drop bear]

Because predetermined is what you choose. Don't take "fate" definition of predetermined when some powerful force has already decided what will happen to you. That is totally something different than what I'm talking about.

When I use the term control. I mean you have some sort of finesse over how much force you are using. So that if it is a deadly threat you can respond with deadly force. If it is not a deadly threat you can respond with proportionate force.

So either you can't tell the difference between the level of threat or you can and you can't moderate your own actions to compensate.

You have one solution to every problem which is go full noise. This extremist response to self defence can create as many problems as it solves as it is not as versatile as a measured response.

 

[JowGaWolf]

You have one solution to every problem which is go full noise. This extremist response to self defence can create as many problems as it solves as it is not as versatile as a measured response.

Not correct because I've shown in multiple post that I don't have "one solution" in response to self-defense. You are not understanding me correctly. If I'm swinging my fist or using a weapon it means that everything else self-defense wise has failed. I've said many times I've stated how important being aware of one's surroundings is. How self-defense is not always about fighting and that most of it is about avoiding the fight.

Considering that I've been able to end or avoid the majority of the confrontations that I have had in my life pretty much shows a high understanding of threat and my ability to moderate my actions. But if I'm at the stage of where I'm physically fighting for my safety, then I'm not holding back.

Why should I hold back when I'm defending myself? Am I going to throw a half powered punch? Am I going to move half speed to avoid my attacker? Am I going to fight just hard enough to where the fight is going to break even? For people who have guns, what are they going to do? Pull the trigger half way? Pistol whip an attacker as warning and then shoot?

Just because I go full force doesn't mean that it's deadly force. I do however remember people getting bent out of shape because I don't have problems with punching someone, knocking them out, or breaking bone.

This extremist response to self defence can create as many problems as it solves as it is not as versatile as a measured response.

There is nothing extreme about about I'm saying.

 

[FriedRice]

What do you think is the best form of martial arts for women? One that can help them with assaults?

MMA is the best for real self defense. Try it out, ie. pay for a month's worth. If it's too rough, then downgrade to Krav Maga which is like, MMA Lite....usually works for people who can't handle full MMA.

There's no shortcut. Male attackers will usually always be much stronger than you. It takes years of dedicated training to close the gap and especially to overcome the greater strength of men. In the meanwhile, carry a gun, pepper spray and a knife for protection (wherever legal). Even if you're well trained and a fighter, you should still carry weapons that are legal. I'm very serious about self defense so I always carry my 9mm, at least 2 mags x10 rounds, a knife and mace.

 

[Tez3]

MMA is the best for real self defense. Try it out, ie. pay for a month's worth. If it's too rough, then downgrade to Krav Maga which is like, MMA Lite....usually works for people who can't handle full MMA.

There's no shortcut. Male attackers will usually always be much stronger than you. It takes years of dedicated training to close the gap and especially to overcome the greater strength of men. In the meanwhile, carry a gun, pepper spray and a knife for protection (wherever legal). Even if you're well trained and a fighter, you should still carry weapons that are legal. I'm very serious about self defense so I always carry my 9mm, at least 2 mags x10 rounds, a knife and mace.

No and no. I train MMA, have done for 16 years as well as TMA which I have trained for far, far longer and MMA isn't best for self defence for a number of reasons. In MMA we coach to win competitive fights, the mixture of martial arts is specific usually to a fighter and used to win ( hopefully) fights. Most MMA fighters can defend themselves when necessary when attacked in 'real life' of course but that isn't just down to MMA training, fighters are martial artists most have training in other styles. MMA doesn't teach ( nor does many other styles by the way) awareness and how to avoid fights and incidents. For proper self defence training you go to a place that teaches self defence, you don't go to the hairdresser for groceries so why would you go somewhere that doesn't teach what you need.

Krav Maga is not MMA 'lite' nor is it 'downgrading' to train it, it's a style on it's own. I think you are confused.

 

[harlan]

My POV after studying karate for 10 years, kobudo for 12, R.A.D. training, and surviving an armed home assault:

Best martial art? None.
Best self-defense? Fitness.
Best skill? Situational awareness.

 

[oftheherd1]

Respectfully to all, how do the legal definitions assist people at their moment of need of SD?

At that moment, what may be an indecent advance that is warded off by an assertive bark could escalate into what it was intended to be.. an attempted rape. There is not always clinical demarcation of one or the other. Legal definitions inform legal ramifications yes, though what thoughts of legalities are we meant to consider at that moment of unwelcome sexual advance??

And in cases where the victim is subjugated or perhaps inured to the repeated trauma of sexual assault the legalities they seem distant and rarely have I found people thus situated to be in a state of mind to take much of any action let alone physical SD technique mentioned here and there. What do you suggest constitutes self defence here??? let alone how it is legally defined???

This is an emotive issue, naturally it would be, we are all compassionate human beings though I think legalities, while we have a duty to know our standing and while wholly necessary in the aftermath, I wonder is discussion of legality not to digress away from what is of most importance to anyone in the situation??

Also, while it would seem untrue of today - statistically - specially among younger people of either gender (college/university ages), there is still unfathomable ignorance over what is acceptable sexual conduct.

Jxx

Bolded: An excellent point Jenna, and mentioned elsewhere as with Watergal. When I taught, or even when I have been asked about SD, I always try to get the questioner to confront themselves, and examine whet they think they are capable of doing. If I tell them to gouge out eyes, and their reaction is that they couldn't, I try to get them accustomed to the idea that they need to get their mind settled to do that. Practice it in their mind until they in fact can do it. It is all I can do. That is, I can't make them willing to do it, only try to get them thinking about how to accept it as OK in desperate situations. If it really looks like they can't, then I have to go to another technique. The problem in Hapkido, is that most simple techniques (that is, what can be learned quickly and easily), are going to damage. But how do you easily explain that is isn't a problem in a situation where a person would consider fighting to be the correct response?

Underlined: That has been a problem for a long time, but I think it is worse now as there is in my opinion, more acceptance of bad behavior, that when I was young, would not have been acceptable. About 12 or so years ago, I was walking on a university campus with my wife and daughter. There was a boy and several young girls behind us, but in earshot. The boy was using a lot of vulgar language. I put up with it for a minute or two thinking he would quit, and also wondering what to do. I didn't think it a good setting to get into a physical altercation with him. I finally couldn't take more of it and turned around and said "Language, there are ladies present."

He quit. But I overheard him justifying himself to the young girls by saying he didn't understand as he didn't think he was saying anything so bad, and besides he wasn't talking to me anyway. What really stood out in my mind and made me never forget, was that the young girls didn't seem to mind a bit how he was talking and the vulgar language he was using. They acquiesced easily. How then can he learn different behavior?

I have also talked to a lot of men who don't understand no means no. You cannot correctly assume a woman is just being coy, or trying to appear to be a goody-two-shoes while wanting sex as well, if they are saying "No.". It may be one of those things. But a man who pursues sex when a woman says no, risks serious trouble with the law, to say nothing of the mental anguish he may cause the woman, and the effects on her life from then on.

Anyway Jenna, thanks for bring up those points. I think we all need to keep them in mind.

 

[Jenna]

@oftheherd1, I wholly agree with your sentiments here oth1, regarding behaviours, I think if I were permitted to generalise, marketing for commerce has sexualised young people as possibly not previously, would you agree? I think this portrays a lifestyle ideal though horrendously misinforms those young folk as to what is acceptable - for me, music vids I some times am left without words to know that very young kids are exposed to this as normal and as worse, treat it and act it out as almost goal or ideal behaviour, boys and girls both. You make good points. I am glad your daughter has a father like you x

Lastly, when you say no means no, I think there is no simpler and but more pertinent mantra in all of this. I was surprised doubt - even jokingly - over its absoluteness even surfaced here on the board.. sad.. thank you though for giving your thought, wishes Jx

 

[BraxLimbo]

There is no one size fits all solution for self-defense. Self-defense starts of with awareness and fighting is what usually happens when all other methods fail. She should take a martial art that is focused on self-defense and not sporting. This will help her to not be scared. Predators can tell when a person is scared and they will take advantage of that if the opportunity presents itself. The next thing is to run some what if scenarios and come up with realistic plans. Know where the "exits" are. If she's on the street then she should have an idea of which businesses or shops she can run to in order to get away. Escape plans should be based on the environment and the footwear being used. Also try to see if anything in the environment can be used as a weapon or can be used to put some distance between her and a would be attacker. Carry a sharpen pencil or fine tip pen to use as a stabbing tool. Don't just depend on fighting. Also mentally prepare to do horrible things if necessary to stay safe. Some people here don't have the stomach to severely hurt others, but if she's ever in a situation where her life is in danger, then she will need to fight as if her life is in danger. The biggest issue that I see is that she's scared. If she's scared then she is probably reflecting that in her walk.

That's what I keep telling her. Don't let them know you're afraid. They can smell fear and they would love it. Always be alert and don't panic since it would always help you find the best answer.

If she never finds herself in a bad situation, she can at least participate in the sport aspect, which she may find enjoyable.
.

I do hope she never finds herself in those situations.

 

[oftheherd1]

@oftheherd1, I wholly agree with your sentiments here oth1, regarding behaviours, I think if I were permitted to generalise, marketing for commerce has sexualised young people as possibly not previously, would you agree? I think this portrays a lifestyle ideal though horrendously misinforms those young folk as to what is acceptable - for me, music vids I some times am left without words to know that very young kids are exposed to this as normal and as worse, treat it and act it out as almost goal or ideal behaviour, boys and girls both. You make good points. I am glad your daughter has a father like you x

Lastly, when you say no means no, I think there is no simpler and but more pertinent mantra in all of this. I was surprised doubt - even jokingly - over its absoluteness even surfaced here on the board.. sad.. thank you though for giving your thought, wishes Jx

Jenna, I think you are quite correct. Music videos, preteen TV shows, advertisements, all seem to throw sex at young people before they are fully capable of understanding consequences of yielding to actions dictated by newly surging hormones. The same videos, shows and advertisements often promote the extreme desirability of being in the "in group," and early yielding to sexual behavior is an OK path to that in-group acceptance. That is made easier by the fact that we are social beings, of a sort herd mentality. Parents, teachers, and society seem to have acquiesced to preteens and teens becoming their own teachers, with no adult involvement.

I believe the above to be true, and leading our society down a dangerous path. I would be interested in hearing others' opinions.

 

[ballen0351]

I agree with most of this, except for the carrying a gun part. Unfortunately, gun ownership has proven not to make anyone safer, and actually make people less safe, especially gun owners themselves. The myth of running to grab your gun when someone robs your house is exactly that. You're far more likely to kill yourself or a loved one than the evil gangbanger trying to rape your family.

In the end, if you whip out a deadly weapon, be prepared to use it. If a woman pulls out a knife, she better be prepared to kill or permanently injure that person, because if she fails with the knife, there's a very good chance that she's escalated the level of violence to the point of no return.

Absolute nonsense

 

[RTKDCMB]

MMA is the best for real self defense. Try it out, ie. pay for a month's worth. If it's too rough, then downgrade to Krav Maga which is like, MMA Lite....usually works for people who can't handle full MMA.

There's no shortcut. Male attackers will usually always be much stronger than you. It takes years of dedicated training to close the gap and especially to overcome the greater strength of men. In the meanwhile, carry a gun, pepper spray and a knife for protection (wherever legal). Even if you're well trained and a fighter, you should still carry weapons that are legal. I'm very serious about self defense so I always carry my 9mm, at least 2 mags x10 rounds, a knife and mace.

If your MMA is so great for self defense as you say then why do you still feel the need to carry so many weapons?

 

[Hanzou]

Absolute nonsense

The “Good Guy With a Gun” Is a Myth

 

[ballen0351]

The “Good Guy With a Gun” Is a Myth

yeah that's compete nonsense as well.