Anger Issues

[Steve]

Sigh, I have you on ignore Steve but it seems I still have to see your 'dislike', I can't think why you would dislike it but for your information when you work in the public eye, have CCTV watching as well as the people you may have to arrest you'd better be polite and calm because things are going to go very badly for you if you don't. It's part of the training to stay calm, to be the one in control and most police officers I know, even if they are bricking it, can 'fake' that calm exterior needed to do a successful job.
As for being angry, I can only assume you are still angry at me for whatever you think I did. Please tell me what it was............ so I can do it again. Actually I'm joking, I still don't read your posts.

Dear @Tez3 I'm actually quite glad to learn that you can still see when I dislike a post of yours, because surely that means you can see all of the times I "like" or "agree" with your posts, too (which is most of the time). In general, I think you're a force of nature, and a person I would quite like to meet (but understand the feeling isn't mutual). I think you're a terrific role model for kids, and I generally appreciate your stubborn, curmudgeonly nature.

I "dislike" your post above, as I explain, because I think it's pretty mean spirited to intentionally escalate a situation and make people angry. Manipulating people like that is not okay, in my opinion, and it undermines your position to say that and then assert you are in control of your own emotions. Intentionally baiting or trolling people in real life is not the behavior I would expect to see from someone who is "in control."

But, and surely you of all people can appreciate the truth in this as you say it all the time, I'm not angry with you at all. It's easy to ascribe emotion to posts. You chastise others for doing it to you. I wish you'd reciprocate and stop doing so to others.

 

[Steve]

Speaking for myself, joking aside, I know that I can lose my temper, online and in person. Snide jibes and verbal sparring have been my stock in trade for a long time; I'm really trying to tone that down and just not be a butthead quite as much.

I have taken two semi-long self-imposed sabbaticals from MT in the past. Both were due to the same individual who really knew how to get under my skin in a way that most people can't; I have a pretty thick hide generally. I left because I didn't want to be the person who got into it with that jackhole and made life on MT miserable for everyone.

I'm having a much better time now because of the ignore feature. Yep, if I never click like on any of your responses to me, it's probably because I'm ignoring you. And brother (or sister), you earned it. Sometimes I actually do look to see what was said when there are 'ignored content' messages, but since they are 'ignored', I find I can just let them go by, no matter what obnoxious thing was said.

Maybe some of you have me on ignore (and therefore won't be reading this). I want you to know it's perfectly OK with me and I totally get it. I can be a handful. But I am trying to get better. Maybe if someone would give me a nudge from time to time if I say something not-so-nice, and I'd be more aware of it and better able to fix that flaw in my personality.

I could have written that myself. I think I might be on Bill's ignore list (I hope not). But as you say, Bill, if I am, I get it.

 

[Brian R. VanCise]

As a ginger this is actually true. lol

 

[Brian R. VanCise]

All kidding aside this is just a really great forum dedicated to martial arts. Honestly, I never get upset or lose sleep over posting here. I appreciate every poster whether I like what they post or disagree with it and every individual I have met in person from MartialTalk has been a wonderful person!

 

[Swagmaster2993]

I have to agree, when you train, you must be able to control your anger.

 

[Mou Meng Gung Fu]

When I first joined this forum last month, I didn't know anything about it. I was having problems learning how to navigate, how to send PMs, pictures, videos and emoticons/emojis (in fact I still haven't figured out how to post videos from my phone, but whatever). I didn't know I could follow people or ignore people. This is all still new to me as I'm not really a computer geek, but I am learning slowly. I'm curious though as to where DaleDugas went after I reported him to the mods. Did he get banned? If so, can I get him unbanned? How do I petition to get him back on this forum? I was upset with him before, but I'm over it now. If I knew I could ignore people's posts, then I probably would've never even reported him in the first place. I blame the internet.

 

[Jenna]

People have the right to be a lot of things, no argument there, Jenna. But anger isn't good for you. Or those around you. What I find so strange, I believe if all the people that post here were out together, or in a training environment together, everyone would likely get along just fine. And if they didn't, I think a lot of us here who've run all kinds of Martial gyms, would deal with that issue the same we we always have. (with hugs and bunny rabbits)

Professionally, I deal with angry people on a regular basis, nearly everyday. It can be a pain in the A, but a good thing is it keeps me calm. It's like seeing someone with an arrow through their head and thinking, "Sure glad that ain't me".

I think you have a calm disposition yes? would not like to think of you feeling frustration at posters online.. I mean, some people are angry like you say and but that is ok for them to be that way.. I have work with people whose anger is result of their status as unassimilated refugee, it get directed at me, physical yes.. I only believe responding with equal vehemence do not diminish their anger.. some time we cannot see arrow through our head because there is not mirror to see in x

 

[Headhunter]

When I first joined this forum last month, I didn't know anything about it. I was having problems learning how to navigate, how to send PMs, pictures, videos and emoticons/emojis (in fact I still haven't figured out how to post videos from my phone, but whatever). I didn't know I could follow people or ignore people. This is all still new to me as I'm not really a computer geek, but I am learning slowly. I'm curious though as to where DaleDugas went after I reported him to the mods. Did he get banned? If so, can I get him unbanned? How do I petition to get him back on this forum? I was upset with him before, but I'm over it now. If I knew I could ignore people's posts, then I probably would've never even reported him in the first place. I blame the internet.

He's not banned

 

[Steve]

He's not banned

How do we tell whether someone is banned or not? Is there some indication on their profile?

 

[Headhunter]

How do we tell whether someone is banned or not? Is there some indication on their profile?

Maybe I'm wrong here but if you go on there profile there's an error message. Maybe I'm wrong here but that's what I think

 

[Brian R. VanCise]

How do we tell whether someone is banned or not? Is there some indication on their profile?

It used to be that you could tell very easily with the old system that a member was banned. As of this time there is no way for a member to know if another member has been banned.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

Yosemite Sam?

You know, that's the voice I heard, too.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

there are times when it is actually very helpful and even essential to let someone see you are angry. I wouldn't say that it's helpful or positive to lose control. But I disagree with the blanket statement that anger isn't good.

Anger, from a pure physical health perspective, isn't good, except as a protection from physical danger (that's what it actually comes from - it's a maladaptation of the "fight" response). However, when the anger exists, suppressing it (the original meaning of "Type A" personality) is more unhealthy than expressing it.

 

[DanT]

I find that when I train hard I'm much calmer. It's good catharsis. Especially the heavy bag and kicking pads. People wonder why I'm smiling. It's cuz I get all the anger out the night before.

 

[TSDTexan]

Speaking for myself, joking aside, I know that I can lose my temper, online and in person. Snide jibes and verbal sparring have been my stock in trade for a long time; I'm really trying to tone that down and just not be a butthead quite as much.

I have taken two semi-long self-imposed sabbaticals from MT in the past. Both were due to the same individual who really knew how to get under my skin in a way that most people can't; I have a pretty thick hide generally. I left because I didn't want to be the person who got into it with that jackhole and made life on MT miserable for everyone.

I'm having a much better time now because of the ignore feature. Yep, if I never click like on any of your responses to me, it's probably because I'm ignoring you. And brother (or sister), you earned it. Sometimes I actually do look to see what was said when there are 'ignored content' messages, but since they are 'ignored', I find I can just let them go by, no matter what obnoxious thing was said.

Maybe some of you have me on ignore (and therefore won't be reading this). I want you to know it's perfectly OK with me and I totally get it. I can be a handful. But I am trying to get better. Maybe if someone would give me a nudge from time to time if I say something not-so-nice, and I'd be more aware of it and better able to fix that flaw in my personality.

Hope it wasn't me Bill.

 

[TSDTexan]

For full disclosure: I'm part Ginger

I have ginger dna. My beard used to be red.
What hair remains on the head is dark dark Auburn.

 

[Bill Mattocks]

Hope it wasn't me Bill.

Nope. I think highly of your commentary.

 

[Bill Mattocks]

I have ginger dna. My beard used to be red.
What hair remains on the head is dark dark Auburn.

My beard was brown and red mixed, hair was black. Hair is gone (hair today, gone tomorrow) and the beard is white.

But gingers have never 'recognized' the gingerness of redbeards. We're treated like the rest of the non-red population.

 

[TSDTexan]

Nope. I think highly of your commentary.

Thank you. I usually spout nonconforming BS, and opinions. But I do it from the heart.

I maybe 100 % wrong, but I am open minded enough to be persuaded by fact, or good logic, to reverse positions or statements.

But I have a strong personality ( macho alpha male was the latest insult hurled at me by a women's studies prof ) and I do clash at times.

 

[Tez3]

LOL, more disagreements on my post, love it. I love when people disagree with what you experience as if they have walked in your shoes, seen what you've seen and done what you've done, 'oh no' they are saying 'you didn't experience that at all, you are lying' because of course they were with me, by my side every minute of my life,oh well, it made me laugh anyway.
Of course they could be disagreeing with me just to be nasty, but no one here would do that would they?