What do you call it when you can't get yourself to train?

[watching]

Ugh... I don't know if it's laziness, a little depression, or something else. But I can't seem to motivate myself to train... it's been about a month. I have a lot going on right now, like a giant wild fire burning just about 20 miles from my house, weird stuff coming up and keeping me out of class, and just regular family obligations. But seriously, I'm in a real funk right now!
Does anyone have advice or can share something that helps with this type of thing? Aside from the obvious, just do it! I fully intend to wake up and make "today the day" that I get back at it... but every morning I find some excuse not to. In all honesty, I think it's because I've started drinking again after over a year of not drinking. I'm not like a hard core alcoholic but it seems even a glass or two of wine in the evening squashes my spirit and leads me away from training. Can anyone here relate?

 

[Headhunter]

If you think you're depressed go to a doctor. Otherwise there really isn't anything else to say apart from just go. If you think it's th drink then stop drinking. There's not much else that can be said

 

[Kung Fu Wang]

If you feel depressed, try to think about what you have instead of what you don't have.

- Can your eyes still see?
- Can your legs still walk?
- Do you have any missing finger?
- Do you have serious pain on your body?
- Do you have cancer that you only have 6 months to live?

If you don't have any of these issues, you are already live in heaven. You should enjoy your life when you still can.

Even when I'm tired, I'm afraid to skip even one day of my training. Why? If I skip one day, I may skip another day. I may then stop my training some day.

The fear of stop training just force me to continue my training. Not sure this make any sense to you or not.

 

[skribs]

I am semi-qualified to help out! (I have a bachelor's in psychology, so really I know a little bit but I'm not really qualified at all). Here are some questions and thoughts. You don't have to tell me the answers, but I hope they at least help you think.

1. Are you depressed because you're not training, or are you not training because you're depressed?
1A. If it's the first, and you're depressed because you're not training, then you need to actualize. You have your real self and your ideal self. Right now your real self isn't training and your ideal self is. One option here is that you can kick your real self in the caboose and get back to training. That takes away the tension.
1B. However, maybe it's possible your training schedule doesn't match with what your life can afford. If that's the case, then you need to adjust your ideal self. Maybe you take some time off and go in when you can. Or maybe you need a different school that will match your schedule or meet your motivation. It's possible you've just been too busy to train this month, and you feel guilty when you shouldn't. You should definitely make an effort to get back, but if it doesn't happen, then don't feel bad.
1C. It might also be that whatever art you're taking or school you're going to just isn't jiving with you right now. Maybe you need to mix it up. I'm going to guess you're doing Kenpo (based on some of your other posts). Maybe it's time to try something else?
1D. Martial arts can be a very good anti-depressant. They get you moving, and you quite often get to hit things or throw people, which can be cathartic.
1E. If I was wrong in 1A, and you are not training because you're depressed, follow the advice and go see a doctor. Not a bachelor-in-psychology.

2. If "today is the day" make it be the day. Force yourself to go. If today is the day, don't let tomorrow be the day. But, as I said above, if today won't work, then don't plan on today. In that case, plan on tomorrow.
Let me put it this way: if I have no plans after work, then today is the day. But if I have my nephew's birthday after work, then tomorrow's the day. And I commit to that.

3. There is no such thing as a hardcore alcoholic. There's alcoholic and not. Forgive me because it's been a long time since I studied this, but it's not about how much you drink. It's about how your body reacts. Someone can drink every night or get plastered every weekend and not be an alcoholic, but someone can go for years without alcohol and touch one drink and instantly relapse.
3A. Alcohol is a depressant. Now, contrary to how some read that, it doesn't make you depressed, but to a degree, it does calm you down. (This is compared with a stimulant, like caffeine, which brings you up). So if you go home and have a few, this is what you may expect:

• Loss of energy, less desire to go train
• Loss of self control, less motivation to get out and go train
• Not able to legally drive to go train

My recommendation is if you don't think you're an alcoholic, save the booze until after class. If you do think you are an alcoholic, that would be an opportunity to go to AA or go to a doctor.

 

[Kung Fu Wang]

1D. Martial arts can be a very good anti-depressant.

I like to run uphill and downhill. When I run uphill, I go through all the poems that I can remember in my mind. It takes my mind away from my hard work. When I run downhill, my mind keep repeating, "Enjoy my life, Enjoy my life, ...".

This way when I run uphill, I'm looking forward to my downhill running. My running won't be boring at all. When the flesh air go through my lung, that just feel so great.

 

[jobo]

Ugh... I don't know if it's laziness, a little depression, or something else. But I can't seem to motivate myself to train... it's been about a month. I have a lot going on right now, like a giant wild fire burning just about 20 miles from my house, weird stuff coming up and keeping me out of class, and just regular family obligations. But seriously, I'm in a real funk right now!
Does anyone have advice or can share something that helps with this type of thing? Aside from the obvious, just do it! I fully intend to wake up and make "today the day" that I get back at it... but every morning I find some excuse not to. In all honesty, I think it's because I've started drinking again after over a year of not drinking. I'm not like a hard core alcoholic but it seems even a glass or two of wine in the evening squashes my spirit and leads me away from training. Can anyone here relate?

You ether want to do it or you dont, at the point your trying to make yourself do it, it's clear you dont, take a break of a few weeks or a few months, till the point you wake up and think, " I really miss martial arts" stuff the kids birthday party in going !

Or if that day never comes, then ma wasn't for you, get an x box or a mountain bike or what ever, life's to short to force yourself to do something you don't Want to do and definitely to short to spend time beating yourself up for not doing something you Don't want to do

 

[JR 137]

Do you ever leave the dojo thinking it was a waste of time? Have you ever left the dojo thinking you shouldn’t have gone (unless you genuinely should’ve been somewhere more important at the time, like a family function)?

I’ve never regretted going to the dojo. Ever. I have regretted not going though.

Regarding stress, I find the dojo is the only place in the world that gets me away from it all. I don’t have the time to think about all the crap in my life when someone’s trying to beat me up. The outside world doesn’t exist for that brief hour and a half. Once I’m back in the car and on my way home, that crap doesn’t seem nearly as bad as it was beforehand.

I don’t know if this helps or not, as I really can’t relate to not wanting to go to the dojo. I’ve asked myself once or twice if I should go because I genuinely didn’t feel well or was genuinely too tired. Other than when I had Lyme disease, I went. Moving around and getting a good workout in has always helped me feel better when I’m sick or tired. The only thing that’s kept me from going are family commitments or other pressing things. I couldn’t go last night (my normally scheduled night and my favorite night) because I had to fix my car and it took longer than I wanted it to. I got sick of filling the power steering reservoir every other day, so I sucked it up and fixed the car.

Other things, yeah, it’s pretty difficult to get myself to do them; not karate though.

 

[_Simon_]

Ugh... I don't know if it's laziness, a little depression, or something else. But I can't seem to motivate myself to train... it's been about a month. I have a lot going on right now, like a giant wild fire burning just about 20 miles from my house, weird stuff coming up and keeping me out of class, and just regular family obligations. But seriously, I'm in a real funk right now!
Does anyone have advice or can share something that helps with this type of thing? Aside from the obvious, just do it! I fully intend to wake up and make "today the day" that I get back at it... but every morning I find some excuse not to. In all honesty, I think it's because I've started drinking again after over a year of not drinking. I'm not like a hard core alcoholic but it seems even a glass or two of wine in the evening squashes my spirit and leads me away from training. Can anyone here relate?

I can absolutely relate. Not so much the alcohol, but the lacking in motivation bit.

I think we've all experienced slumps in one way or another, and I do not recommend you just try to distract yourself from it or force yourself to go.

Time for some real, genuine, raw honesty with yourself I reckon. Self-reflection will really help, and asking yourself questions like,

"What is it that I don't want to do?"
"What do I truly want to do/devote my life towards? "
"What's this really about?"
"Is this just a slump or do I feel it's time to move on?"
"Is there something deeper here that needs addressing?"

Try to let your heart answer, and not craft some clever answer with the mind. Not what you should answer, but what your real answer is. Listeing to that inner voice. Writing helps heaps, just writing questions and answering them.

I spent the best part of maybe a year and a half to two years on and off in a big slump in training. I would take months off just unable to get myself there, all motivation just gone. There were times when I did force myself, sometimes it helped, sometimes it just really didn't. Sometimes I'd feel better afterwards, other times I'd be left feeling drained and unfulfilled.

I found that I had to be brutally honest with myself, and asking why I keep going. It turned out I was going through quite a shift inside, and part of the process of letting go of shoulds in my life and of being kinder to myself meant losing interest in things that were not in my best interests. I was training just because I felt obliged to, and I can tell ya it just absolutely zapped me... it was not good. It was all to do with all the immense pressure I put on myself and carried, and trying to appear strong training in a "hard" style. So letting go of that and also any guilt I felt for not following what insane standards I set myself to. Easing up on myself and being kinder.

It was like my heart was screaming out to me "you don't have to do that to yourself anymore, it's okay," yet I continued to constantly repress and ignore it time and time again until eventually I had no choice but to acknowledge it.

So as hard as it was I left my old style. And I knew that I still had such a drive towards martial arts and I'm now listening to myself, and trying a bit of this and that style and seeing what I really vibe with. I'm doing a real service to myself and not training because I think this is the best style or it's what someone else said was the best, but what really jumps out at me.

It's obvious you've got a bit going on in your life at the moment, and we can't tell you what you need, only you'll know that. But I really recommend you asking yourself some honest questions and looking at your underlying motivation and what you truly want. It could be the universe's way of telling you it's time to move on, or it could be calling your attention to something else.

Let us know how you go

 

[drop bear]

You have no purpose.





Get one.

 

[watching]

You ether want to do it or you dont, at the point your trying to make yourself do it, it's clear you dont, take a break of a few weeks or a few months, till the point you wake up and think, " I really miss martial arts" stuff the kids birthday party in going !

Or if that day never comes, then ma wasn't for you, get an x box or a mountain bike or what ever, life's to short to force yourself to do something you don't Want to do and definitely to short to spend time beating yourself up for not doing something you Don't want to do

The thing is I do want to do it and it's my happy place.

 

[watching]

Do you ever leave the dojo thinking it was a waste of time? Have you ever left the dojo thinking you shouldn’t have gone (unless you genuinely should’ve been somewhere more important at the time, like a family function)?

I’ve never regretted going to the dojo. Ever. I have regretted not going though.

Regarding stress, I find the dojo is the only place in the world that gets me away from it all. I don’t have the time to think about all the crap in my life when someone’s trying to beat me up. The outside world doesn’t exist for that brief hour and a half. Once I’m back in the car and on my way home, that crap doesn’t seem nearly as bad as it was beforehand.

I don’t know if this helps or not, as I really can’t relate to not wanting to go to the dojo. I’ve asked myself once or twice if I should go because I genuinely didn’t feel well or was genuinely too tired. Other than when I had Lyme disease, I went. Moving around and getting a good workout in has always helped me feel better when I’m sick or tired. The only thing that’s kept me from going are family commitments or other pressing things. I couldn’t go last night (my normally scheduled night and my favorite night) because I had to fix my car and it took longer than I wanted it to. I got sick of filling the power steering reservoir every other day, so I sucked it up and fixed the car.

Other things, yeah, it’s pretty difficult to get myself to do them; not karate though.

No I never regret going to the dojo, it actually is one of the only things that makes me "feel alive." It's kind of like the feeling you get when you leave church... if you're a religious person.

 

[now disabled]

No I never regret going to the dojo, it actually is one of the only things that makes me "feel alive." It's kind of like the feeling you get when you leave church... if you're a religious person.

Do you not have possibly a training buddy who could act as possibly your pick me up and get you moving so to speak

 

[watching]

I want to say that quitting has never occurred to me. MA is part of who I am in my core. I mostly feel like I am betraying myself with drinking again. I think deep down, that is what has been killing my motivation to live positively and in a healthy way.

 

[watching]

Do you not have possibly a training buddy who could act as possibly your pick me up and get you moving so to speak

Oh I'm sure that any number of people at my dojo would do this... if I could get myself to reach out.

 

[watching]

I just woke up and am planning on training this morning. Even if it's only for 30 minutes... I think I just need to get the ball rolling and regain the progress I've lost the past month....

 

[now disabled]

Oh I'm sure that any number of people at my dojo would do this... if I could get myself to reach out.

That only you can do unfortunately ...I know it may be hard to but well life is full of things that we do not want to do or are fearful of at first but after the initial hurdle is crossed then it becomes easier

 

[now disabled]

I just woke up and am planning on training this morning. Even if it's only for 30 minutes... I think I just need to get the ball rolling and regain the progress I've lost the past month....

Your looking for excuses of why not to then trying to weigh that up against why to ...and in doing that you are losing the moment as the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other are to busy fighting each other that you are losing your focus lol thereby as I said the moment has passed

 

[watching]

Your looking for excuses of why not to then trying to weigh that up against why to ...and in doing that you are losing the moment as the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other are to busy fighting each other that you are losing your focus lol thereby as I said the moment has passed

No, I am training this morning! But not before coffee...

 

[now disabled]

No, I am training this morning! But not before coffee...

Caffeine boost lol well ya drink enough ya certainly be wired lol

Ask at the dojo for a buddy and or mentor talk to your instructor is he/she is worth their weight they will help you ...take the first step when your in an upbeat state (oh and full of caffeine lol)

 

[oftheherd1]

I want to say that quitting has never occurred to me. MA is part of who I am in my core. I mostly feel like I am betraying myself with drinking again. I think deep down, that is what has been killing my motivation to live positively and in a healthy way.

Well, did you? I hope so. If so I hope you can continue to train and let go of the drinking.

Hang in there!