The Elite? The Blessed?

[Rich Parsons]

Based upon some random comments in threads recently and also in real life including getting food tonight at Arby's, I have noticed and know for a while that all are not the same.

Rich, What do you mean by these comments?

Well I mean that if you check the following thread: http://www.martialtalk.com/forum/showthread.php?t=12093&highlight=income one can see where they fall into the world's level for income. I am quite high and I have know this and realize I am blessed by that.

Yet there is no way I make even close to the income mentioned in the following thread: http://www.martialtalk.com/forum/showthread.php?t=21837&highlight=income

I also have a nice house and some nice vehicles and able to maintain them. While there are those out there that Lease one, not own multiple, or have much older used vehicles. So once again I am blessed.

Which means I am not one of the homeless discussed in the follwoing thread: http://www.martialtalk.com/forum/showthread.php?t=24285&highlight=income

I have been able to afford my training for Martial Arts, and let me say that most of the members here also fall into the elite when one actually thinks about it, they have the time and money to get online and also the time and money to train in a martial art. See this thread for a discussion on costs of Martial Arts: http://www.martialtalk.com/forum/showthread.php?t=32593&highlight=income


So while getting a roast beef sandwich this evening, the place was all screwed up. No one was following the general flow and processes, it all seemed out of order. Within seconds I identified the problem as the woman who was supposed to be running the cash register for those inside. She could not take multiple orders, each order had to be filled before she could take the next order. Even though there was only the two people in front of me, one who had placed an order already (* It was a large to go order for multiple people *) and one guy in front of me. The take out window had one car waiting for another very large order, and trying to work the current order. So while I was not thrilled over things that happened earlier in the day, mt minor irratation and frustration turned to pity and compasion for someone who was trying but was just so overwhelmed they could not handle the situation. As the managers finally got the big orders out and one was able to explain to her that he would get the orders ready all she had to do was to take them. This limited her state of being overwhelmed.

While waiting the manager who has seen me there before apologized a few times, I told him I understand and it is ok. This got me thinking, he was concerned that a person that stops by once every week to two weeks because a woman was having problems ringing up the orders and then getting them. She was not elderly and retired, she was in her late 40's by appearance and married. She was frustrated as the fast buttons confused her and was already out of sorts so she was trying to go fast and not reading and in the end making things worse.



So, here I am thinking that even with my Education of a Bachelors Degree and some Master's classes I am more educated than many, but within thsoe I work with I would say more than 50% have a Master's Degree. Yet, I am able to see patterns such as I mentioned above I knew the chaos was caused be her being out of sync with all the rest.

So I am thinking still, that here she is trying to work and do a job well, and was just overwhelmed, and maybe in the future she can do better as she get more familiar, but then I remembered her saying she was confused as the changed the buttons since she was last in three days ago. So she has been around for a while. (* Even though I had not seen her before, but like I said my timing in there could easily support that as a non issue. *)

I was not angry with her or those she worked with, I was wishing her the best, and hoping she would be able to handle the job as there are many I know who would have been all upset by the few minutes of wait time.


So once again it comes back to some others that have told me I too nice, or that I have some keen insight, or that I am smarter than others they know, but is not all just relative? I mean even though I argue with PhD's at work because I have the experience and they have theory does not mean I am smarter or able to think up theri new designs, but I am able to make them be implemented, and address real world situations.

So like I said we here are elite for we are online, compared to all those who cannot get online. We are elite for we have the disposable income to train in martial arts, while others try to feed their children and also pay medical bills for themselves or their family.

It just got me thinking about some stuff I have been thinking about in the back of my brain for a while.

What are your thoughts on relative elitism?

What are your thoughts on looking at where one came from and what you have to be thankful for?


Peace
:asian:

 

[Cruentus]

My short answer: It's all in your head.

How blessed someone is or isn't has more to do with their mindset and viewpoint rather then their situation. The person who struggles at an Arby's can go home to poverty but be happier and more content overall in her life then the executive that she is waiting on who has all the advantages in the world (by comparison). She could focus on the one or two positive things of the day (in comparison to the many negatives) and magnify them, and he could focus on and magnify the one or two negative things of the day (among many other positives). He might say, "I had a terrible day because my Manager gave me crap." and she might say, "The day today was wonderful because I got to walk home while the sun was shinning."

The above of course is hypothetical (not saying that she is a particular way or that you are a particular way). The point is that perception and mindset has more to do with how blessed you feel then anything else.

Now, as to objective societal advantage (like wealth or job or vehicle, etc.) or "success." This has to do with a Venn diagram of 3 things: 1. Skills 2. effort 3. opportunity.

"Skills" are both trainable and inborn to some degree; so how skilled you are can be both controllable and uncontrollable. "Effort" is completely controllable. Opportunity is mostly not in your control, but is controlled by socio-environmental factors.

So, "success," a relative concept anyways, is both controllable and uncontrollable by the individual. But all three parts of the Venn diagram have to be fulfilled for "success" to be achieved. So, I could be incredably smart and skilled in a field with a willingness to put forth effort, but if no jobs in my field are available the I don't have the opportunity and therefore can't achieve success in that field. If I have a lot of skills and there are a ton of opportunities out there for me, but I don't want to wake up in the morning to go to the job, then I lack the effort for success. If I want to be successful in a particular field and I have the willingness to do the work and the jobs are available, but I get into a car accident and have a closed head injury and no longer cognitivly perform the skills, then I lack the "skills" portion of the diagram.

All of this, however fine and dandy and informational, but what really matters? What I think matters is the parts that are under individual control; basically what you do with what your dealt, and ones mindset regarding these. This is what determines ones emotional/mental state, and the quality of ones life. But, that is just my perception.

As to "Elitism." Better described through a parable:

An attorney, a world leader, and the inventor of a new material that will make gasoline without oil are all on a private plane together. On the plane is also the pilot, and the attorneys son who is mentally impaired. Out of the 5, who is the most important person on the plane?

That is the question of elitism...who, or which group, is most important; the most valuable.

Now, what if I were to say that in the scenario, the pilot is dead. He has a heart attack and lumps over dead, no longer able to fly the plane. The only person who knows how to fly the plane and safely land it is the mentally impaired son of the attorney who had taken flying lessons from an uncle and who had flown and landed more then a dozen times before. Now who is the most important person on the plane?

The point is, who is "most important" is all situational and relative. Therefore, there is no one person better then another. One might say that the president is more important then my wife; but I would disagree.

So, elitism is all an illusion anyway; often created by the collective conscious. It isn't real unless you want it to be, and doesn't matter anyway.

Paul

 

[HKphooey]

Without santitation wokrers, we would have piles of garbage everywhere. Without farmers and grocery clerks, there would be no food on the shelves. Without the "grunts' in the foxholes, we wars would be lost. Like Paul's post, it is a realtive. Each person plays a key role in each of our lives.

I have always looked at each individual for their dedication to their job or skills.

And when it comes down to it, some of my best conversations have been with my parents' foreign immigrant friends. Some have no high school education, but are great tradesmen. They seem to have such a great outlook on life.

Like beauty, the answer is with the beholder.

 

[Andy Moynihan]

For want of a nail the shoe was lost.
For want of a shoe the horse was lost.
For want of a horse the rider was lost.
For want of a rider the battle was lost.
For want of a battle the kingdom was lost.
And all for the want of a horseshoe nail.​

 

[TonyMac]

I can't answer your question but I would like to say that you fit neatly into the catagory of people that I'm grateful to have been alive at the same time with.

 

[shesulsa]

I'm reminded of the Beattitudes.

I'm of the mindset that we all have some purpose. The pained, miserable and suffering, while they must learn enough to cultivate their souls to find meaning in their suffering, serve as opportunity for us who can help (even if only by lending an ear) to do so.

Rich, your phrase "relative elitism" is aptly worded. Those on the streets know things we who are not can never know. Those born with a silver spoon in mouth know things about society that most of us don't.

The most fascinating thing about living is that each of us - EVERYONE - has a story. We mustn't forget that when dealing with each other.

Living in compassion can be costly and the question is ... is the price worth paying? Hmmm ... "Better to have loved and lost ...."

I think rather than the word "elite" I'd prefer to use the word "blessed." For 'elitism' is not a status attained, rather an attitude subscribed to.

 

[michaeledward]

I have no doubt, she was trying the best that she knows how.

And while you, Rich Parsons, are careful to explain your patience with the situation, do we recognize that not everyone is as patient with such circumstances. I know there are times that I am not bothered by what I perceive to be incompetence, but there are times that it bothers me greatly.

A social experiment might be to buy your sandwich, and as you sit and eat it, observe the woman, her interactions with the customers, and the attitudes and actions of all involved.

Then realize, that woman is probably performing these tasks for about six bucks an hour, with no health benefits.

We don't know her circumstances ... you say apparently married, I am guessing from a wedding ring. Are you projecting onto her circumstances based on that wedding ring? Is there any other evidence for that?

It has been referenced before ... and it is an incomplete look at low-skill / no-skill labor ... but I recommend 'Nickeled and Dimed, on Not Getting By in America' by Barbara Einrech <s>.

 

[stickarts]

I agree about the importance of your own perception.
Do you wake up each day with a feeling of gratitude for what you have or do you wake up miserable because of what you feel you are lacking or missing out on?
As I go on my bike rides, I pass by several different elderly folks and I always say hi.
When I ask how they are doing, several of them tell me that they woke up above ground today so they are feeling pretty happy about that and life is good!

 

[Rich Parsons]

I have no doubt, she was trying the best that she knows how.

And while you, Rich Parsons, are careful to explain your patience with the situation, do we recognize that not everyone is as patient with such circumstances. I know there are times that I am not bothered by what I perceive to be incompetence, but there are times that it bothers me greatly.

A social experiment might be to buy your sandwich, and as you sit and eat it, observe the woman, her interactions with the customers, and the attitudes and actions of all involved.

Then realize, that woman is probably performing these tasks for about six bucks an hour, with no health benefits.

We don't know her circumstances ... you say apparently married, I am guessing from a wedding ring. Are you projecting onto her circumstances based on that wedding ring? Is there any other evidence for that?

It has been referenced before ... and it is an incomplete look at low-skill / no-skill labor ... but I recommend 'Nickeled and Dimed, on Not Getting By in America' by Barbara Einrech <s>.

I have had problems with stupidity, but those that are honestly trying I have patience for. So I am not a supra-human and above reproach.

Yes there was an engagement ring and wedding ring pair, of medium size main stone with a small colored (* blue *) stone on one side. I did not see the other. So based upon the size of the stone and most likely birth stones of at least one child, while worn on the left hand, yes I assumed she was married. Just like any woman who wears a ring on their left hand, I assume they are engaged or married.


Now I do not and did not think it was incompetence. I thought she was on over load. Meaning she had too many things to do at once in an unfamiliar situation. So, if she servives at this job for a few months she might be great at it having been through it so many times.

As to watching people, this is a pass-time event for me. Even at work I watch, there is one guy who is as tall as I am and twice as wide in the shoulders with about the same build as me but in a proportion, so he is a BIG MAN. Most people do not see him where I work. Why? He is one of the custodians, that is bus'ed in by a cleaning company to clean our buildings. Now imagine this guy being bigger than me and almost being invisible. Then one day he sees me actually watching him and he is surprised, for I would be the only other guy there who could give him a problem.

I like to watch the crowd, not only do I have history doing it for work, I like it to know who in the crowd is paying attention, and who is being obnoxious, who might be a danger, and how they react to each other and those around them.

And yes many a paper could be written on social behaviours there of.

 

[Kembudo-Kai Kempoka]

The old adage, "I've been rich, and I've been poor...rich is better."

So here I sit...a bachelors, Masters, and Graduate Health Science degree to my name, having made a series of poor management decisions around my own career and business partners, and I am in awe at how so many are able to get by on so little, as I ponder my own looming homelessness.

In the wine country, there is no middle class. There are the very rich, and the very poor. You are compelled by circumstance to either rise to the top, or join "the help". As Chrio-quacktor to some of the barons of the region, the amount of wealth controlled by a handful of folks is mind boggling. I find myself with an odd feeling towards these gratuitous "haves". It's not envy, but rather an odd form of respect: They have managed to marshall their own internal resources and organization to create mini empires. I admire the ability to do that, since my own raging A.D.D. seems to inhibit my ability to find my keys and get out the door, much less build a castle (literally...we got a guy out here building a friggin' castle in the hills of Calistoga...but he won't be living in it; it'll be his SECOND winery, as he expands his market reach). I admire their tenacity and organization.

As Chiro-quacktor to "the help" -- migrant workers and their families, and the socially/financially disenfranchised locals who were not as lucky as the rest -- I am awe struck at how one might raise a family of five while saving money to buy a house, on a $10.00/hr job. I could barely pull that off as a youngster in college (when ten bucks was worth more), living alone in a lousy bachelor pad, with cash injections from student loans or the Bank of Mom & Dad. I admire their ability to take stock of what they have to work with, and so efficiently organize a viable life-plan within those means that not only meets their immediate needs, but plans so well for an unknown future. I admire their discipline and persistance, perhaps because I see myself as lacking those traits at the deepest level in which they embody them so well.

I don't belong to either social strata here; not elite enough to sit at the wine baron's sprawling table, or close enough to the bone to fit with the struggling families at their intimate picnics. Yet, as I peer through the windows into each of their lives, I see strength to challenge adversity: different adversities, needing different strengths. I see loyalty and love, each expressed in it's own way, depending on the circumstance. I see cause in each window for laughter and tears; joy and heartache. They all break their bones (2 patients currently in arm casts, one worth millions who complains about $10.00 co-payments, one worth maybe 20 bucks on payday so I treat him for free); they all have victories and wins to celebrate, and losses to grieve.

Still - sitting in the middle, wondering which way I'll slide over the months to come - I can appreciate differences in simple ways, and am grateful for the small luxuries I've been able to afford thus far in life. It was 112 degrees F here on Saturday. I saw have-nots driving to their destinations in uncooled cars, while the haves tooled down the road in oblivious enclosed, air-conditioned comfort. Why I noticed at all: The thermostat in my car is shot (requiring me to run the heater when I drive the hills, to prevent overheating), but the AC works fine at the office, and well-enough at home.

I might not be elite, but I am blessed. I got out of my hot car to sit in AC'd office or home, while they got out of theirs to labor in the sun or in restraunt kitchens for tourists, enjoying a lifestyle most of them will never know. And for a whopping 6 bucks and hour, as Michael points out.

I have a computer, with which to surf the web for opportunities to exercise better judgement in the future. I have friends who care about me enough to encourage me through rough times. I have mentors who will show me better ways; all I have to do is show up.

There was a new age fad going around for a spell that bugged me, about living with gratitude. It bugged me, because the people I knew who were "practicing gratitude" were Newport Beach, CA, trophy wives of the well-to-do who had never worked a day in their lives, and drove from one pampered experience to another. Somehow, they forgot to be grateful for it. After my projected cynicism and disgust settled down (post leaving L.A. and living in a muddy AirStream with no plumbing for 3 months), I'm learning to be grateful. I'm appreciating being blessed, even if I'm not yet truly, relatively elite. I'm examining my beliefs about success vs failure, having vs not having, and about loving each moment of life, because you just never know when it's either going to take a turn for the worst, or simply end right out from under your feet.

Hopefully, with the grace of god, I'll find true humility without disaster, and learn to be truly grateful without first losing it all. Hopefully.

Blessed elitest,

Dave

 

[Rich Parsons]

I can't answer your question but I would like to say that you fit neatly into the catagory of people that I'm grateful to have been alive at the same time with.

Do you mean I am an "interesting" person?

OR something else?

 

[stickarts]

By the way Rich, Great thread!

 

[TonyMac]

I very simply appreciate kind intelligent people.
Actually it's my wifes' concept. People whom we are glad to have been on this planet at the same time with.