I think the answer to this is the reason why it's so much easier to de-escalate if you're trained in martial arts than if you're not. If you've trained for enough time, you've seen enough situations to have a general idea of what
could happen in a fight, and have trained responses for those.
Someone who's never trained and never been in a fight is usually going to base their strategy on what they've seen in Kung Fu movies or Shonen anime. The problem with that is there's a recognition that what happens in those shows are usually not realistic, and so the question becomes what
could happen, what would be an appropriate response, are you capable of performing that response, and if so how? It's a lot to think about every possible action and every possible reaction to each action, which takes brain power away from de-escalating the fight.
On the other hand, take someone who is trained. They're keeping an eye out for the shot or the jab, managing their range so no haymakers or anything with a windup will catch them off guard, and this is all happening subconsciously due to training. That frees up a lot of brain power to find a way out of the situation.
When someone drops in on our BJJ gym, I roll with them how I roll with anyone else that I already know their game. I apply my fundamentals to take or create openings for attack, and to reduce the likelihood of their attacks being successful. I try to play the game I normally play. If I can force them into my game plan, then I have a much easier time controlling the round.
There are some simple if-then statements I'll run. If I can tell they're a wrestler, I pull guard. I'd rather take bottom position on my terms. If I can tell they're not comfortable with the standup, I'll pressure them into giving me the take down or into pulling guard.
- If they're a wrestler and I pulled guard, I'm going to play a game that seeks to eliminate their ability to pressure me. My legs and frames are key. These fundamentals would apply even if the other person weren't a wrestler.
- If I get on top early, then I prefer attacking where I'm climbing over my opponent's legs with a knee cut, body lock, or stack pass. I'm going to do this regardless. If I have outside position on the legs, I tend to purposefully cross through in order to set up the passes I'm more comfortable with, rather than go around with a toreando or something similar.
In Taekwondo sparring, I have a set of techniques I like to use to set up reads for combinations. For example, I will throw a crescent kick to see how my opponent defends. The two most common defenses are to slip back or to block high.
- If they slip back, I can follow up the crescent kick with a side kick. Instead of dropping the foot to the ground, I chamber the foot for a side kick and then snap it out when my opponent straightens back up. I have quite a few knockdowns from that.
- If they high guard, I can turn the crescent kick into a sharply-pivoting roundhouse kick. It's kind of the opposite of a question mark kick. It looks like a head kick, turns sharp into a body kick.
Note that these responses aren't immediate. I'll throw a few head kicks that I know will probably miss in order to learn my opponent's tendencies, and then I'll throw the combination when I've got a high confidence it will land. This isn't a strategy I come up with on the fly for each individual. It's a rote pattern I've concocted before-hand and put into practice in sparring.