I may have mentioned this before. Onetime a MA instructor asked me to punch him in front of his students. I knew he was going to use me as his demo dummy to impress his students. I'm not going to let that happen.
If I throw a
- slow, weak punch, and freeze my punch in the thin air, I will make myself a fool.
- fast, powerful, controlled punch, and stop my punch 1/2 inch in front of my opponent's face, my opponent may not appreciate my kindness. He may throw a punch and knock me out.
- punch with full speed, full force, and knock him down, I may over do it.
- fake punch and then kick his groin, I may not be honest.
What should I do? The "striking art" just doesn't give me much options to choose from.
I've got to log off and get some things done, but I'll say this: It would piss me off more than anything, when I'd tell someone to do an attack, and it was half ***! A 2 hand choke was a ****ing shoulder massage. A punch that in reality, I wouldn't even have to block, let alone move, as it would never have reached me in the first place. I'd love the look on the students face when I'd say, "No, go ahead, really squeeze my neck." or, "No, really, throw that punch and try to hit me!" I looked at it like this...in the beginning, the slow, compliant stuff is necessary. Why? Because in every art, that's the way things need to be taught. Gradually introduced with more resistance, aliveness, etc added in. But afterwards, wouldn't it be nice to see the tech really work? Hey, if I got hit, it was MY fault for not doing something right.

And yes, many times, the student wouldn't 'punch right' (God, I HATE that phrase!) and whatever they did, messed me up a bit, but when all was said and done, I adapted, and adjusted, and made it work.
Please don't mistake this for me sounding like some Superman. LOL. I'm not and that's not the case at all. I went thru the same things that you mention, and eventually, I ran into some training partners, who led me down the right path.

Of course, even when doing Kenpo, before I moved on to much greener pasture..THANK GOD!!!...I felt that given that there was a lot of violence in the techs, that some situations just didn't warrant breaking/hyper extending the guys arm, so, I'd always like to look for other options, when I'd work my techs. What else could I do? Those were the things that I'd look for. I was at a point in my training where I really didn't need or want another tech or kata...God knows there were morethan enough..lol. I wanted to look at things from a different perspective.
IMO, there are options in the striking arts, but sometimes, they're not as out in the open as other things.