A police officer pulls over a speeding car.
The officer says,
"I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, Sir."
The driver says,
"Gee, Officer, I had it on cruise control at 60.
Perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly, Dear, you know that this car
doesn't have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket,
the driver looks over at his wife and growls,
"Can you please keep your mouth shut for once?"
The wife smiles demurely and says,
"You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."
As the officer makes out the second ticket
for the illegal radar detector unit,
the man glowers at his wife
and says through clenched teeth,
"Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"
The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not
wearing your seat belt, Sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."
The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see, Officer,
I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over
so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."
The wife says, "Now, Dear, you know very well
that you didn't have your seat belt on.
You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
And as the police officer is writing out
the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks,
"WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"
(I love this part . . )
"Only when he's been drinking."
The officer says,
"I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, Sir."
The driver says,
"Gee, Officer, I had it on cruise control at 60.
Perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly, Dear, you know that this car
doesn't have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket,
the driver looks over at his wife and growls,
"Can you please keep your mouth shut for once?"
The wife smiles demurely and says,
"You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."
As the officer makes out the second ticket
for the illegal radar detector unit,
the man glowers at his wife
and says through clenched teeth,
"Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"
The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not
wearing your seat belt, Sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."
The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see, Officer,
I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over
so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."
The wife says, "Now, Dear, you know very well
that you didn't have your seat belt on.
You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
And as the police officer is writing out
the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks,
"WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"
(I love this part . . )
"Only when he's been drinking."
