Some reflections and decisions.........brain dump......

Flatfish

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I started training TKD with my son at a Kukki school a bit more than 3 years ago. The kid was done after that time and I tried to keep it up but am having schedule difficulties and issues with my expectations and the reality of TKD in our school (TKD as a whole?). Sparring is fun but there is only a small group of people in my school who spar regularly. Few adults. A few weeks ago, we attended a tournament that was billed as "bigly" and I was excited to get to spar against some strangers. A 12 hour wait later I only had one exhibition match because there are apparently just not that many idiots my age (>42) who like to get on the mat.....very disappointing. Plus even for the kids/teens, the divisions were broken into so many categories that basically everyone walked out with a trophy.......participation prizes at their worst. It left me very discouraged.

So why do I train? Obviously not for competition even if I wanted to. Self defense? Not much emphasis in our training. I sat down with my instructor and talked with her about my "MA midlife crisis" and she basically agreed with me. She is discouraged as well that she can't teach TKD the way she wants to because it's a small commercial school that depends on kids' tuition and the majority of parents don't want little Jane or Johnny to spar, get a boo boo, or god forbid being a bit harshly talked to after misbehaving. In fact she said she might even consider closing the school when the lease is up next year. A good talk and a bit surprising to me how much we agreed on things and it helped my thought process quite a bit.

Of course where does that leave me now? Not interested in another Kukki school because things would likely be pretty much the same plus I would feel like I am disrespecting my current instructor. Decided to try out some other things, a Chung Do Kwan school, which was interesting, very different, not focused on sport, but suffers from the same lack of adults. Then I decided to try out some grappling, visited a BJJ school and really liked it. Adults, some younger, some old farts like me. Intense training and overall a really good vibe. So I have pretty much decided to give grappling a try. I'll see tonight if I can get my son interested in "wrassling" and that will determine which school I join (due to schedule).

So it's a mixed bag, on one hand I'm sad to leave TKD and the folks at the school behind for now, but I'm also really excited to try something new.

I'm also not sure why I'm writing this but I guess this community here would understand the thought process the most.... I don't have any friends who are into MA. Any thoughts are welcome.
 

Jenna

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So why do I train?
Did you figure out an answer to your question?

If you ask your self some question like this maybe it could help to show you a good direction or show you how to adjust your current position to make it suit you best :)

I wonder can you engineer the mind in your self that it is no bad thing that you are giving your self opportunity to reassess what you are doing?? wishes to you xo

and thank you for sharing as I imagine there are others who might read in similar circumstance
 

Reedone816

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There was a saying if i'm not mistaken.
"Master and disciple meet by fate".
Just keep rolling, might be in one of those, something will click.
At least for me my system seems to attract adult instead of teenager, so it easy to train since the students are from similar build.

Sent from my Lenovo A7010a48 using Tapatalk
 
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Flatfish

Flatfish

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Did you figure out an answer to your question?

If you ask your self some question like this maybe it could help to show you a good direction or show you how to adjust your current position to make it suit you best :)

I wonder can you engineer the mind in your self that it is no bad thing that you are giving your self opportunity to reassess what you are doing?? wishes to you xo

and thank you for sharing as I imagine there are others who might read in similar circumstance


I'm not the most philosophical person, so I also know that I'm not looking for any type of Zen, spiritual peace or whatever in my training. I want it to be good for something beside just exercise ( I do that anyway). I do think MA is cool and fun but I would like it to be useful should I ever need it. Nothing against TKD as a MA at all BTW.....it's the watering down that I find around here that I don't like very much.

Reassessment is a good thing, no problem there but it's kinda hard to break up ;)
 

Jenna

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I'm not the most philosophical person, so I also know that I'm not looking for any type of Zen, spiritual peace or whatever in my training. I want it to be good for something beside just exercise ( I do that anyway). I do think MA is cool and fun but I would like it to be useful should I ever need it. Nothing against TKD as a MA at all BTW.....it's the watering down that I find around here that I don't like very much.

Reassessment is a good thing, no problem there but it's kinda hard to break up ;)
I get how you mean break up be hard after 3yr of your time and effort and it sound like there is mutual respect for your instructor too yes?

You would say you know clearly in your mind what would be an ideal solution for you now? or you are still figuring things?
 
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Flatfish

Flatfish

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I get how you mean break up be hard after 3yr of your time and effort and it sound like there is mutual respect for your instructor too yes?

You would say you know clearly in your mind what would be an ideal solution for you now? or you are still figuring things?


No, I know what I want to do. The question is, with or without the kid, which will determine which school I'll join
 

Danny T

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If you want sparring time how about going to other gyms, schools, groups that do spar and ask about participating in open gym/mat times. Most all the schools in my area have open mat times for sparring, rolling. Take a look at the mma gyms in your area most all I have visited have open mat times every month.
 

Gerry Seymour

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This sounds like some good, honest soul-searching. And it sounds like you've come to a reasonable conclusion. I hate that for the instructor, though. I hope she finds someplace to enjoy her own training again.
 

Headhunter

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As long as you enjoy what you do that's all that matters. It's a shame your instructor feels she has to soften the classes to get people but maybe in the end it'll be better for you
 
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Flatfish

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Well, tonight was encouraging.....the little one enjoyed himself against all my expectations and his sister surprisingly decided to tag along at the last minute and had a good time as well......so now we'll have to have a little talk about commitment before we proceed......me? I got mangled and enjoyed every second of it....it also turns out that some of my judo training from 30 years ago stuck....was able to get two americanas out of side control.:shamefullyembarrased:
 

kuniggety

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I'm a pretty non-competitive person except when it comes to myself. I still enjoy rolling just for the sake of rolling. It's exhausting and it's fun to just constantly be testing yourself. Win or lose it's still a win.

It sucks about your TKD experience. If you're into striking it might translate well to a local karate school that spars more or even an MMA gym where you can do some striking and some wrasslin.
 

BuckerooBonzai

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No, I know what I want to do. The question is, with or without the kid, which will determine which school I'll join

For me my MA training has gone 180 degrees from when I started. I started training in college at age 20 and was all about being as fast as possible and competing and sparring, etc. Over the years I have slowly lost my enthusiasm for the sport aspect and grew to love the spiritual/mental aspect. Then I transitioned into loving teaching. And now that I am 45, over the last 4 years, it has been all about family time. Two of my kids started to train 4 years ago with me and then slowly over those four years, my three other kiddos have started training as well. Now we train at least twice a week, every week, and it is the single BEST family time that I have with them, especially as the older three kids are now teenagers and "old Dad" does not have as much in common with them.

Depending on where you are in life will dictate a lot of your desire but being able to train with my kids has been some of the most special times that I have ever spent with them in their lives.
 

JR 137

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For me my MA training has gone 180 degrees from when I started. I started training in college at age 20 and was all about being as fast as possible and competing and sparring, etc. Over the years I have slowly lost my enthusiasm for the sport aspect and grew to love the spiritual/mental aspect. Then I transitioned into loving teaching. And now that I am 45, over the last 4 years, it has been all about family time. Two of my kids started to train 4 years ago with me and then slowly over those four years, my three other kiddos have started training as well. Now we train at least twice a week, every week, and it is the single BEST family time that I have with them, especially as the older three kids are now teenagers and "old Dad" does not have as much in common with them.

Depending on where you are in life will dictate a lot of your desire but being able to train with my kids has been some of the most special times that I have ever spent with them in their lives.

This, all day.

The 2 best days of my Karate life...

The day I taught my then 5 year old daughter how to put on her gi, tie her belt, then gave her a kiss as she walked onto the floor for the first time.

Tied for first with the above is there was a day where I brought her to class, and my then 3 year old daughter came to watch. My 5 year old was the only student (summer holiday weekend), so my teacher invited my 3 year old to train alongside her (we don't have a 3 year old program). By default, I went onto the floor too. The absolute best class I've ever had.

Like a lot of 6 year olds, she got bored because it wasn't a new toy anymore. She'll be back. Both of my girls love hitting the focus mats and kicking shield at home. I just got a BOB XL a few weeks ago, and they love that too. I just found a pair of gloves they can wear so their hands don't hurt when they hit him. Gotta break them in.
 

JR 137

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Sorry @Flatfish, I got sidetracked...

It sucks that that's the current state of the dojang. But in the end, we train because we love it. If you're not enjoying training, what's the point? There's so many facets to the arts and what makes our training enjoyable. If your heart's not truly into it, find a new place.

Hopefully this will be the long term place.
 

Tony Dismukes

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At the start of your post I was going to suggest that if your instructor really wanted to teach at a more serious level then maybe she could set aside a special class time for those few adult students who want more dedicated martial training. Maybe having that option available would attract more serious adult students. If not, at least she could get more personal satisfaction out of it.

Then I read you decided to switch to BJJ. Welcome to the dark side!
 

Jenna

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This, all day.

The 2 best days of my Karate life...

The day I taught my then 5 year old daughter how to put on her gi, tie her belt, then gave her a kiss as she walked onto the floor for the first time.

Tied for first with the above is there was a day where I brought her to class, and my then 3 year old daughter came to watch. My 5 year old was the only student (summer holiday weekend), so my teacher invited my 3 year old to train alongside her (we don't have a 3 year old program). By default, I went onto the floor too. The absolute best class I've ever had.

Like a lot of 6 year olds, she got bored because it wasn't a new toy anymore. She'll be back. Both of my girls love hitting the focus mats and kicking shield at home. I just got a BOB XL a few weeks ago, and they love that too. I just found a pair of gloves they can wear so their hands don't hurt when they hit him. Gotta break them in.
This all day! dads like you that show their girls (or sons!) how to fight to look after their selves.. I like this all day! xo
 
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Flatfish

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At the start of your post I was going to suggest that if your instructor really wanted to teach at a more serious level then maybe she could set aside a special class time for those few adult students who want more dedicated martial training. Maybe having that option available would attract more serious adult students. If not, at least she could get more personal satisfaction out of it.

Then I read you decided to switch to BJJ. Welcome to the dark side!



Actually she did talk about the idea of putting mats down in her barn and just having a TKD club.... that would be fun....I'm confident we'll stay on good terms and she knows I'm a fairly serious student...
 
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Flatfish

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It sucks about your TKD experience. If you're into striking it might translate well to a local karate school that spars more or even an MMA gym where you can do some striking and some wrasslin.
 
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Flatfish

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No worries, I have absolutely no regrets about TKD. Had a blast learning and training but it's just time to reassess what I want out of MA. I do like striking and will work on keeping the skills I learned. Who knows I might still tackle MMA once I have some grappling under my belt......MMA is a recommended geriatric activity, no?
 
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