Slap in the Face!

[agemechanic03]

Just curious as to how you all feel.

We have a guy that is TDY here in Korea, who was stationed here about 5yrs ago that did MA with my instructor then. Well, like I said he is here for only 3 months and hasn't done any MA since he left here and my instructor is bumping him straight past me and I am green belt myself. I will be the one teaching this guy all of the forms so he will be at "MY" level. I don't have a problem teaching someone that hasn't been to class in a while, but someone who hasn't done anything in years and doesn't remember the forms that is getting put in front of me makes me feel like I am getting slapped in the face. So what he did it five years ago. I did MA 3yrs ago and started off as a white. Do you see any of that happen in your schools? To me it seems like he does it based on how long you've done it. I don't really like it b/c it will be the second guy he's done this with since I've been there.

Just wanted to know your thoughts and to see if it happens with your schools too? Maybe I am looking at it too far. I mean I enjoy the training, it's that one thing that kinda slaps me in the face along with another guy my class thinking the same thing.

 

[Ninjamom]

I think your Instructor is right to honor the rank and accomplishment that the man has already achieved. I think it is great that your Instructor is giving you the opportunity (and the trust) to be part of helping this man get caught up and current in his knowledge/ability.

I guess what I am saying is that I don't see your Instructor 'dissin' you in any way, but recognizing and honoring the accomplishments of the other man. If I am right, than he would do the same thing for you, if you had to move away, and then came back years later.

 

[Kacey]

I think, given that this person has a history with your instructor, that I understand why he was place ahead of you. He earned his rank with this instructor, and that is being recognized; had he earned it elsewhere, then I wouldn't have reacted the same way. Even though he is rusty, and has forgotten alot, this still holds true. Several of my instructor's students have left for a long time (for one married couple that had kids, for 12 years), and both came back with the rank they had when they left (1 was a 2nd gup red belt, the other a III dan BB) - but they had to relearn everything before they could test - which I also think is fair. I've helped both of them with relearning things - and odd sensation, as many of the things I'm helping the III dan with are things he taught me when I was a I and II dan.

I do understand why you're upset - but you need to take your emotional response out of the equation and look at the situation objectively. No matter how you dislike it - it's your instructor's choice and getting upset won't change what he's chosen to do, so it's in your best interest to roll with the flow.

 

[qi-tah]

Just curious as to how you all feel.

We have a guy that is TDY here in Korea, who was stationed here about 5yrs ago that did MA with my instructor then. Well, like I said he is here for only 3 months and hasn't done any MA since he left here and my instructor is bumping him straight past me and I am green belt myself. I will be the one teaching this guy all of the forms so he will be at "MY" level. I don't have a problem teaching someone that hasn't been to class in a while, but someone who hasn't done anything in years and doesn't remember the forms that is getting put in front of me makes me feel like I am getting slapped in the face. So what he did it five years ago. I did MA 3yrs ago and started off as a white. Do you see any of that happen in your schools? To me it seems like he does it based on how long you've done it. I don't really like it b/c it will be the second guy he's done this with since I've been there.

Just wanted to know your thoughts and to see if it happens with your schools too? Maybe I am looking at it too far. I mean I enjoy the training, it's that one thing that kinda slaps me in the face along with another guy my class thinking the same thing.

I can understand yr reaction, i've had to deal with a similar thing myself. I guess in the end it's simply a function of rank - what you have to do is decide how much you have invested in your ranking system and why. If one of the pre-requisites of gaining a certain rank is the length of time you are associated with the school, then you have to decide whether that is a good measure of your own progress as a martial artist. Rank is a convenient and visible yardstick of skill, but as you have pointed out, it may not be terribly accurate. This doesn't mean that you have to throw away rank as being pointless, but it might be a heads up to find other ways to evaluate yr progress.

 

[Hawke]

I can understand your frustration. If possible do not let outside factors control your emotion (not always easy and most times very challenging). You can use this "slap in the face" as an opportunity to be humble (sounds like dorky pop zen psychology).

When training, work to improve yourself and not to compete with someone else. Some people are stronger, faster, more flexible without the hard work you have put in. Move at your pace.

There is a thread about rank here on the forums. In some styles people get rank because the instructor believes the student will eventually live up to it. Others get rank through the internet, make their own martial art, or just buy a black belt with stripes at a local martial art supply store. Do some of these people deserve their rank? Probably not.

Can you imagine if you had to train somebody at work the skills you knew so that they can make $50,000 more than you for doing the same work and then being let go?

In your training you will face many obstacles that will try to derail you. Do you wish to continue? How badly do you want to learn this art? Are you at a good school? Some people have left their dojos because they thought the grass was greener on the other side only to find out that things there were a whole lot worse. You always have the option to leave and after doing your research find a training hall you enjoy.

Peace.

 

[agemechanic03]

Hey thanks all! All good words and I have been sitting on it this weekend. I have a problem with letting LITTLE things get to me here lately and that just happened to be one of them. I am really trying to get rid of a lot of stress b/c being away from my wife for this whole next year is getting to me and allowing the minor things to assist in the stress. I have, however, come to realize more about the situation that I am in with the class and I am going to try and look at it more with a positive attitude. Thanks again to you all!

 

[theletch1]

Unaccompanied tours of duty can really suck. Been there. These types of deployments are one of the many reasons that your fellow soldiers and Marines become your family. Thank you for doing what you do.

As for persons returning after a long hiatus and keeping their rank, yes, we have one individual that was gone for almost 7 years before his return. He was in the process of testing for his blue belt when he was involved in a horrendous car crash. After teetering on the brink of death for a couple weeks he eventually come out of his coma and began the long and arduous trek back to normalcy. Seven years after the accident he felt that he was ready to come back to the training. He didn't have to restart at white belt. He simply had to review everything he already had before the wreck and then he was able to begin the testing process. I looked at this as a triumph of his ability to recover and his love of the art that he would return after so long. Instead of seeing the return of your classmate as any sort of disrespect to you try looking at it as someone who loves the art as much as you do and is willing to return to training after a long hiatus.

 

[MBuzzy]

Hey thanks all! All good words and I have been sitting on it this weekend. I have a problem with letting LITTLE things get to me here lately and that just happened to be one of them. I am really trying to get rid of a lot of stress b/c being away from my wife for this whole next year is getting to me and allowing the minor things to assist in the stress. I have, however, come to realize more about the situation that I am in with the class and I am going to try and look at it more with a positive attitude. Thanks again to you all!

I'd try to think of it in different terms - look at Jason...he showed up there as a 1st Gup that he earned 3 years ago from Master Ee. I taught him everything that he forgot and now...after a month or two, he is back to where he was before - in some cases, beyond. Once this guy remembers the forms, a lot of the other things will come back to him. Look at all of the Ill Soo Sik that Jason taught me....I am sure that Master Choe considered how fast you have gone also, you are a very young Green Belt. I'm sure he is aware of what this guy's abilities were. You were also given recognition of your previous training when you skipped over yellow belt. If you hadn't had any previous training, that would have been MUCH harder.

Also, rank isn't important enough to get yourself worked up over. I realize that you get what you have earned and worked for, but in Master Choe's class, the ONLY difference is where you stand during warm ups. He teaches everything else either to everyone, or as you are ready. I was learning forms that were FAR above what my belt said I was ready for....but due to how we train, that was ok. Not many schools out there have class 5 days a week for 1.5 hours and only 3-5 people in class.

 

[jdinca]

Just curious as to how you all feel.

We have a guy that is TDY here in Korea, who was stationed here about 5yrs ago that did MA with my instructor then. Well, like I said he is here for only 3 months and hasn't done any MA since he left here and my instructor is bumping him straight past me and I am green belt myself. I will be the one teaching this guy all of the forms so he will be at "MY" level. I don't have a problem teaching someone that hasn't been to class in a while, but someone who hasn't done anything in years and doesn't remember the forms that is getting put in front of me makes me feel like I am getting slapped in the face. So what he did it five years ago. I did MA 3yrs ago and started off as a white. Do you see any of that happen in your schools? To me it seems like he does it based on how long you've done it. I don't really like it b/c it will be the second guy he's done this with since I've been there.

Just wanted to know your thoughts and to see if it happens with your schools too? Maybe I am looking at it too far. I mean I enjoy the training, it's that one thing that kinda slaps me in the face along with another guy my class thinking the same thing.

We've had several people who were gone for years. They didn't lose rank when they left, why should they? They've earned it, it's theirs. I helped some of these people relearn the system and watched them pass me up in rank. So be it. The only person I'm in competition with is myself.

I wouldn't let this get to you. Do what you need to do and focus on your training. You'll be the better for it.