Should I take a break?

[Carol]

In my mind, Respect must be a two way street, or it doesn't really lead anywhere. No matter how much knowledge this man has to share, can I really continue to learn from someone who treats his students as products and not people, and shows no remorse in doing so?

So, I plan on looking for another teacher and training on my own and individually with some of the upper students, who are freinds, privately.
Meanwhile, I'm really sad and more than a little frustrated.

I'm a big believer in the experience factor to training.

Yes, the quality of education is important, but my time is to valuable to have a rotten time doing whatever. When I go to work, I have to deal with issues. In my (university) classes, I get frustrated. I look to my training to escape all that, not add to it.

I believe very strongly in Jack Welch's (fmr. CEO of General Electric) definition of loyalty. He stated that loyalty is not the same as longevity. Loyalty includes a factor of performance. An employee does the minimum that they can do to get by, but is with the company for 10 years is not loyal, because they are not performing as well as they can perform. However, an employee that is a great performer that moves on to another company and remains an ally of their old company is very loyal.

Your instructor is not being loyal to YOU. He is not performing. Focus your time, energy and money on someone/some folks that are loyal to you. :asian:

 

[seasoned]

Shana, it appears you have done your part, the honorable thing. You sat down and talked with your Sensei. If I read your screen name correctly, "Live True", this tells it all. If I read it correctly, you come from a base of honesty, and integrity, and as such, it appears you want, and expect to be met at, that level. Sometimes in life, because of the nature of people, we have to learn to navigate in and around situations, but still stay true to ourself. The base level, in my mind, of any martial art, would be to rise above the everyday pitfalls, that life hands out. As a Sensei, they are an example, for their students to follow. Sure, they are only human, but with integrity, they should be able to separate their personal life from their responsibilities, as the head of a dojo. My advice in my previous post was to talk to him, now my input, would be to follow your heart, because in life as you know, living true , is truly the most gratifying.

 

[Live True]

Are you paying money on his instruction??? Are you devoting time and energy to his training??? Are you seeking to learn as part of a class or network of students??? Do you learn more training one on one??? [...]the baggage should be at the door... period. [...]it sounds like you have done this and what you will see this week will only solidify what you already know so go see it thru and move on to better things... look at it as a progression to the next level and not as some sort of loss... you are winning here...in many ways

Thanks Black Lion, I appreciate the perspective! To answer your questions, this is a non-profit group, but we all had to cancel or pay two gym memberships to attend classes once we lost our original venue a year ago. I'm devoting in and out of class time to my training, becuase my in class time is so limited (and I think you need to practice on your own to truly get anywhere). I love learning as a class and one on one, and have no preference of one over another, as long as I'm actually learning.

But yes, I'm going to class tomorrow, in part to see what happens, and in part to leave the door open. I don't believe in burning bridges. I just believe in standing up for what I believe. If nothing else, this was a BIG victory for me in learning to stand up for myself in a sane and strong manner! yeah me?:uhyeah:

When one door closes another opens. Take your time and look around. Remember, the important thing is the journey, not the destination. If you are not happy in your training you will never reach your potential. :asian:

Good point K man. I want to enjoy my training and make continual progress. Thank you.

I'm a big believer in the experience factor to training.

Yes, the quality of education is important, but my time is to valuable to have a rotten time doing whatever. When I go to work, I have to deal with issues. In my (university) classes, I get frustrated. I look to my training to escape all that, not add to it.

I believe very strongly in Jack Welch's (fmr. CEO of General Electric) definition of loyalty. [...]Your instructor is not being loyal to YOU. He is not performing. Focus your time, energy and money on someone/some folks that are loyal to you. :asian:

Thank you Carol! I've read one of Welch's books, but I hadn't thought of it that way. I think this summer will be spent getting in better physical shape, training one on one with some of this dojos former students, and looking for a new teacher. To Black Lion's point, I will keep the door open, but I really don't see that road taken again unless attitudes change significantly. Time to step up my own personal responsibility in my training! yoiKES! YEAH!

Shana, it appears you have done your part, the honorable thing. You sat down and talked with your Sensei. If I read your screen name correctly, "Live True", this tells it all. If I read it correctly, you come from a base of honesty, and integrity, and as such, it appears you want, and expect to be met at, that level. [...]My advice in my previous post was to talk to him, now my input, would be to follow your heart, because in life as you know, living true , is truly the most gratifying.

Seasoned, I am humbled by your response. Thank you. My screen name is my goal, and I do believe that you must be true, speak true, and live true to your heart and your integrity. In fact, I started my conversation by reminding my sensei that I do not lie. I may not always speak my whole mind, but I do not lie. I do expect others to at least attain to that same goal, as we are all only human.

Thank you all! I hope tomorrow goes well, and I will seek to keep an open mind. I think, however, that my heart has already decided it's time to move on.