Meditation, Self Reflection, (Buddhism)

[Corporal Hicks]

Hi,
I recently put another thread on similar to this on enlightenment and awareness but here I was going to talk about something different. This applies mainly to Buddhism but please all thoughts welcome!

When it comes to meditation, when should it be that you begin to self reflect or even ponder questions etc etc? After you have started to control your breathing and reached a relaxed state? When?

And please dont say, go and meditate on it, because I wouldnt know when to start meditating on meditating thats why Im asking!

This is where I personally get confused also with the principles, because your trying to stop the 'chatter' in your head yet your also self reflecting which in fact is using the mind to determine, or is it using the mind effectively instead of letting it use you?
The same with the questions that you may ask, how are you meant to 'mediate' on questions? Since so far I'm concentrating so much on trying to control my breathing and get that right by the time it comes to thinking I just lose it all.
Should meditation be used to self reflect? Or to stop the 'chatter'?

When it comes to self reflection is it correct to do so all the time? Not just in meditation (if thats what you do so),I mean now I have found that I do it all the time, constantly watching my thoughts, what I say to people, actions etc. Even when I'm not around people, and trying to 'correct' them.
The bad point I have found to this is that seems to be happening all the time, now this wouldnt be a problem, but I'm going to university soon which is supposed the be the best time of your life, and with this constant self anaylsing I worry that I'm not going to enjoy the time I have there, constantly watching my thoughts and not just 'enjoying'.
Alot of my thoughts I would like to meditate on but since I'm not entirelly sure where to start I'm a bit lost, since I've only been able to meditate up to the point of having gaps of no chatter in my head?!

Does anybody else self reflect constantly? How do you 'change' the actions that you percieve to not follow the eightfold path? To give a personal example, I was a person who got very jealous of my girlfriend going out with mates, especially male on night outs!
After studying Buddhism and make concious efforts to notice my pattern of behaviour I went into the feelings that I had (not through mediation) and explored in myself why I had them, what was causing them and I came to the conclusion it was through insecurity (suprise suprise) feelings of lack of control, I then applied this to the eightfold path and noticed the idea of attachment I had made to her, and the idea of the ego causing the feelings of insecurity and lack of control.
I then used this to go further and watch the 'mind pattern' everytime I got jealous and went into the feeling, and since I've constantly done this the hold it had on me has about disappeared.
Is this the correct way to self correct? According to the eightfold path?
Anybody have any other personal (or not personal) experiences they want to share that self reflection has changed their lives in some way.
Sorry to blabber!
Kind regards

 

[BlackCatBonz]

i made a post on the other thread about your meditation.
when beginning meditation dont worry about introspection, contemplating the secrets of the universe, or any of that other stuff......it will only serve to pollute your need for a clear and unfettered mind.
being mindful of your need to walk the eightfold path does not mean that life cannot be fun.......or that you cannot have any fun. everything in moderation including moderation. we know many people in our lives, but those same people have very private areas of their lives that even those closest to them may not know about.
when you follow the eightfold path you are bound to deviate in the beginning......but the rules or guidelines are simple enough. if you catch yourself lying.....even to yourself, you always have a chance to correct it. if you catch yourself doing something wrong you always have a chance to right it.
dont look at the eightfold path as a set of limitations.........it only shows you where your limitations are and how to correct them. as you become more aware of your own limitations, you give yourself the ability to break through them and open new doors for yourself.
this is not reflection......this is being proactive about your actions.
remember, the eightfold path is a circle. if you start anywhere on that circle it will always lead you through all of the elements. mindfullness will lead to understanding, and understanding will allow you to be mindful.
do not force anything to happen......if you find yourself acting one way, and recognize that it is not the way to be acting, then you have the option to change it or not.

 

[Corporal Hicks]

I must thank you again BlackCatBonz for your time and effort and replying to my posts. Lol, it looks like you dont need to reply to the question I gave you otherwise.
Thank you for your perspective on the eightfold path, it certainity has made me think about it in a different light! And without people like you and the others that reply I'm sure that I would have become even more confused. I will stick to the basics, and continue from there, do you think its worth trying to find a teacher when I move away? To aid?

How long do you meditate for at your level of 'understanding'? and do you do so everyday?

Kind Regards and thank you's

 

[BlackCatBonz]

1.I must thank you again BlackCatBonz for your time and effort and replying to my posts. Lol, it looks like you dont need to reply to the question I gave you otherwise.
Thank you for your perspective on the eightfold path, it certainity has made me think about it in a different light! And without people like you and the others that reply I'm sure that I would have become even more confused.
2.I will stick to the basics, and continue from there, do you think its worth trying to find a teacher when I move away? To aid?

3.How long do you meditate for at your level of 'understanding'? and do you do so everyday?

Kind Regards and thank you's

1. you're very welcome.......remember, struggle is the law of growth....and while a certain amount of struggle is healthy for everyone, a little bit of guidance to help deal with the struggle is also important.

2. basics are your friend........just like in the martial arts....people always go back to the basics. i think finding a teacher would be a great help to you.

3. i dont meditate now as often as i think i should......but that doesnt mean that i wont meditate as often as i used to before. sometimes i would meditate for 2 to 3 hours, sometimes 2 to 3 minutes.......i dont put a quota on myself for meditation because if i am unable to meet that quota then i have become attached to it and thusly caused myself to suffer unnecessarily. i meditate when i start and finish when i stop.......sometimes to feel clear it might take one minute......sometimes longer.
i dont tell anyone when i am going to do it.......i just do it.....its something for me.

 

[heretic888]

When it comes to self reflection is it correct to do so all the time?

While not relating to Buddhism per se, I would highly suggest reading Mark R. Leary's The Curse of the Self: Self-Awareness, Egotism, and the Quality of Human Life. It addresses a lot of the questions you're bringing up.

As but one example, the position of the author is that "self-reflecting" too much is precisely the cause for many of our problems in today's society. Unsurprisingly, meditation is referenced numerous times in the text in the "solutions" section.

Laterz. :asian:

 

[Loki]

I have a nasty habit of skimming through posts that are too long, but I think I got your drift.

I'm not a Buddhist, but I find myself relecting very very often. I find myself not bothered by chatter because the subject of my reflection is usually louder. If it's not, I let it go for the time being.
Problems arise when I find myself reflecting when I'm trying to get some sleep! It's not chatter, it's a crystal clear reflection on some idea I just really got into. I keep on developing it and I simply can't fall asleep. I call it "cognitive insomnia".

I don't know what the eightfold path is, but you self-correct the same way I do, which I think is the way to go, reflect and monitor. You're not doing anything wrong.

I'm a year and a bit older than you and have always been dismayed by the lack of self-reflection I saw in my peers. Everyone seems so absorbed in the material world and meaningless things that it drove me nuts. It's nice to know that some teenagers are better than that.

 

[Corporal Hicks]

I have a nasty habit of skimming through posts that are too long, but I think I got your drift.

I'm not a Buddhist, but I find myself relecting very very often. I find myself not bothered by chatter because the subject of my reflection is usually louder. If it's not, I let it go for the time being.
Problems arise when I find myself reflecting when I'm trying to get some sleep! It's not chatter, it's a crystal clear reflection on some idea I just really got into. I keep on developing it and I simply can't fall asleep. I call it "cognitive insomnia".

I don't know what the eightfold path is, but you self-correct the same way I do, which I think is the way to go, reflect and monitor. You're not doing anything wrong.

I'm a year and a bit older than you and have always been dismayed by the lack of self-reflection I saw in my peers. Everyone seems so absorbed in the material world and meaningless things that it drove me nuts. It's nice to know that some teenagers are better than that.

I understand perfectly what you mean, I have very few friends who are actually interested in anything to do with themselves as a person or actually looking into what happiness is, as you say they seem very materialistic, since the next CD they buy is going to buy them happiness! Or so they percieve....

Nice to know others feel the same as you say!

 

[Simon Ford-Powell]

google for E-sangha, which is a buddhist forum. lots n lots n lots of good stuff for you there. Try the beginners forum, or the Zen forum. There have been literally hundreds of threads on this subject, including stuff from full time monks and teachers. You can get good advice on anything from beginning meditation practice, up to translations of all the sutras. It can be as basic or heavy as you wish.