http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/12/05/christmaspresent.arrest.ap/index.html
I think the police have better things to do.
I think the police have better things to do.
Kid arrested for playing with Christmas present
- Thread starter ajs1976
- Start date
bydand
Senior Master
Sounds like the Mother is at the end of her rope. I know other ADHD children and there is still little excuse for this type of behavior, sounds to me like the mother doesn't have the tools or skills to handle the boy. Sad it comes this far before something is done for the child.
This is really a shame that it had to come down to this. A few paragraphs caught my eye. The first one was this one:
Now, I'm not a doctor, I was not present in the house for any of this behavior, so as always the best we can do is speculate. But I have to wonder...did the mother see behavior that should have been corrected, right then and there, and did nothing, or did she attempt to correct the bahavior, but had no luck?
The second was this:
One would think that if something (the meds) were not working, she'd see if there was something else she could do. Again, maybe she did, maybe she didn't, I really don't know.
Mike
Now, I'm not a doctor, I was not present in the house for any of this behavior, so as always the best we can do is speculate. But I have to wonder...did the mother see behavior that should have been corrected, right then and there, and did nothing, or did she attempt to correct the bahavior, but had no luck?
The second was this:
One would think that if something (the meds) were not working, she'd see if there was something else she could do. Again, maybe she did, maybe she didn't, I really don't know.
Mike
We can't possibly know the whole truth without having lived those 12 years with her and her son, but I know for a fact that precocious, unruly children really can happen to good, careful parents.
MJS said:
They're probably in the process of going through med after med after med trying to find the one that works. With this pattern, the kid is likely bipolar and this is often misdiagnosed as ADHD under the age of 14.
Here's another part of the article that caught my eye:
It sounds to me like she's desparate.
I think that one, there are things going on here that are not apparent in the article. This boy is clearly out of control, and this may be the only thing left that mom felt would have an impact on his behavior. Shesulsa is also be correct - many of the psychoaffective biochemical disorders are misdiagnosed as ADD/ADHD in younger children, because before puberty, they mostly all manifest the same way. It is too bad that the police had to be brought into it to make the point that his behavior is unacceptable; what the child really needs, most likely, is to be placed in a hospital that knows how to diagnose biochemical mood disorders in children and can determine the correct course of treatment for him.
I agree that it's unwise to comment not knowing the full situation but I have noticed an increasing trend over here at least (maybe the same for you) of parents bringing their children to our club and saying they are Hyperactive or they have ADHA. What we've actually found is that these children are actually normal, active bouncy kids (mostly boys) who want to be doing active things and using up their normal energy. What the parents mean is these children won't sit still and watch the tv! We are told that the parents 'can't do anything with them' but they don't actually discipline their children! One small boy labelled difficult wanted a drink, his father said no but the child started creating so the father gave in and said yes! I have no problem teaching this boy who is a bundle of energy and he takes no for an answer when told by the instrutors, this is seen as a miracle by the parents! Children love the rough and tumble and challenges martial arts give them. They have, rightly boundless energy and when harnessed is amazing! We had one lad who came to us age 13 who was a bit of a tearaway,his mother could do nothing with him she said, now aged 18, he has just turned professional in MMA with a great career ahead of him, we hope in a few years you will see him in UFC and Pride! If you get the next Fairtex catalogue he will be in it as he's now being sponsored by them. He teaches the children and adults with sympathy and professionalism now, a great lad we are very proud of!
Sorry to wander off there! Not only are we proud of him we think it's a damn good advert for MA! it could well save police time and money!
Sorry to wander off there! Not only are we proud of him we think it's a damn good advert for MA! it could well save police time and money!
SIGH!
First off I think the police should've walked back out to their cruisers and drove away and go chasing after real criminals... after telling the mother to buck up and start disciplining the child like a mother should... and maybe taking a few moments to "pretend to arrest" the kid by handcuffing him and putting him in the back of the cruiser and talking with the mother. There are very few as disconcerting things as being locked up with your hands cuffed behind your back and sitting in the back of a police car. Mebbe that'll scare the kid enough to straighten up and start listening. The officers could (in view of the kid) be talking to the mother and then decide to let him go "this time!" But of course the officers have their jobs to do and can't be telling the mother to "buck up" and how to raise a child... because I don't think that's part of their job description in the first place.
But I've said it half a dozen times before (here on MT) that it's up to the parents. It is the parent's responsibility. It's a poor decision on the mother's part NOT to discipline the child through out it's young life in the sense that when she says NO it means N-O! But then that is if the parent wants to have that responsibility! This mother wants to give up cusody of her own child.
Well, ok, fine... in the mean time she needs to have her tubes tied so she can't have any more children if she's not wanting to assume the responsibility and all that comes with it when she gets pregnant.
again I breathe a heavy SIGH!
First off I think the police should've walked back out to their cruisers and drove away and go chasing after real criminals... after telling the mother to buck up and start disciplining the child like a mother should... and maybe taking a few moments to "pretend to arrest" the kid by handcuffing him and putting him in the back of the cruiser and talking with the mother. There are very few as disconcerting things as being locked up with your hands cuffed behind your back and sitting in the back of a police car. Mebbe that'll scare the kid enough to straighten up and start listening. The officers could (in view of the kid) be talking to the mother and then decide to let him go "this time!" But of course the officers have their jobs to do and can't be telling the mother to "buck up" and how to raise a child... because I don't think that's part of their job description in the first place.
But I've said it half a dozen times before (here on MT) that it's up to the parents. It is the parent's responsibility. It's a poor decision on the mother's part NOT to discipline the child through out it's young life in the sense that when she says NO it means N-O! But then that is if the parent wants to have that responsibility! This mother wants to give up cusody of her own child.
Well, ok, fine... in the mean time she needs to have her tubes tied so she can't have any more children if she's not wanting to assume the responsibility and all that comes with it when she gets pregnant.
again I breathe a heavy SIGH!
bcbernam777
Brown Belt
This is a very sad story indeed, a child who goes into a government run institution is not a recipee for success on any level
This is probably the best thing that could've happened, though, for all concerned. If the mother was this frustrated, and felt this helpless, then who knows what she might have done if she hadn't called the authorities on him (and, in essence, for herself)? Yes, it's a misuse of calling the cops, but I'd guess that next week's paper would have had a much worse story about the ending of this if she hadn't cried out for help like this. Now child services will get involved and the child will be protected from the possibility of his mother losing control while she is protected from the much worse legal ramifications of doing so.
I see this as a sad story, but I suspect that at the time she called it was the best possible outcome.
How many instructors here have had parents walk into their club/dojo etc and say they'd like their children to learn discipline? Sure we can teach them some discipline as regards the art we do and hope it spills over into the other parts of their lives but surely the parents are responsible but teaching life skills!
I do get exasperated teaching children who behave well for me then leave the class and play up their parents because the parents are weak! I'm not a miracle maker just an ordinary mum who when she says no she means it and when I say yes or well done they know I mean that too.
There was another thread on the behaviour of parents watching classes which rang so true for me, I HATE parents watching. don't get me started! They chatter, have no respect and are rude. No wonder they can't control their children and the police are called!
I do get exasperated teaching children who behave well for me then leave the class and play up their parents because the parents are weak! I'm not a miracle maker just an ordinary mum who when she says no she means it and when I say yes or well done they know I mean that too.
There was another thread on the behaviour of parents watching classes which rang so true for me, I HATE parents watching. don't get me started! They chatter, have no respect and are rude. No wonder they can't control their children and the police are called!
bcbernam777
Brown Belt
Dont get me wrong, the part where she rang the cops, that was a good thing, but if that kid does go into the system. I used to work for a department in Australia which is the equivilant to your own child pretection services, it is not a good thing when I child becomes a ward of the state, but sometimes it is the lesser of 2 evils
The only problem I have with your post is that it's very assuming that the mother is to blame for all this kid's actions. While I agree that most of the parenting we see today leaves MUCH to be desired, I also believe it's misguided to automatically blame parents for a child's bad behavior 100% of the time.
If he is mentally unstable or has a biochemical imbalance, even the most impeccable parent cannot interfere with natural order if this kid's issues are not being adequately addressed therapeutically and/or medically.
If you've never had a child with a biochemical disorder, you cannot understand the treadmill this woman is on. If this kid isn't being diagnosed until 12, he's likely been having problems all his life which have been tossed off by the medical community as "being a boy."
Well, as I said, we can't possibly know the whole truth.
I am all for teaching kids a lesson, but how in the world did she get the police to arrest him? From my experience with the juvenile justice system in our little corner. They do not play... From what I read of this incident. There did'nt seem to be a real criminal offense. Unless he is on probation? If the kid is on probation around here. They can get locked up for just about anything. I hope things turn for the young guy.
1stJohn1:9
1stJohn1:9
Aye, that we can't... and I'll grant that I might be wrong about the whole situation in this particular affair. But how many children are MIS-diagnosed with ADD or other problems, simply because they're just very hyper-active (not to the extreme) and so on?
This seems to be a clear case of lack of disicpline in the home and the fact the mother wants to give up custody says (to me anyway) that she just doesn't want to deal with it. Well gee, why bother to have kids in the first place lady? Because they're so cute and adorable as little babies but they lose that when they become unruly, disobedient and so on? It's part of life and part of raising kids to be good adults.
How easy it is to slap a label on unruly or disobedient kids or kids just hyped up on sugar and just wanting to run around to disperse that excess energy inside them?
Granted there are those unfortunate children who have serious problems like ADD or ADHD, I'll grant them that... but I'm guessing it's more often misdiagnosed than for fact with many children. Some parents just seem to not want to deal with the noise and the "wildness" of their kids... and they're just being ... KIDS! Think back and try to remember when you were a kid. I do, and man... today I'd probably be diagnosed with ADD or ADHD as well.
Sometimes it's just a kids way of screaming "I need attention", or "I need to have a problem taken care of"... but they haven't been taught the proper way to express that problem or to present it to the parent who "...just don't have time/patience for it!"
We (humans) are probably the most difficult (and longest) of all the animal kingdom to be raise into adult hood. There is sooo much that we need to be taught, so much attention" to detail and care-giving to ensure that we grow into healthy viable adults to continue on with the species. But sometimes we have these... "little things" that get in the way of a "normal childhood" (whatever the hell that is). So with proper help (therapy, meds, etc.) those too can continue on into their adulthood as well.
He might be on probation after hitting a cop .... But I wonder if they got him on entering? They got him on larceny, which is an appropriation of property (and the trickery towards it) for a person's own use. Sounds like something my kids do every day in my house, but ... well, perhaps because the kid went into another home?
