ok well since it's not dead yet, im saying i want to learn some basics, i dont care, all that much, about advanced stuff, but maybe something that can make me better at BJJ or TKD or so
I think you're still missing the point here. Let me explain....If you have never done, lets say, BJJ, and you run out and spend $300 on a dvd set, you could pop those dvd's in, watch them, and
attempt to figure out what they're doing. You could think that you know, but in reality, a) chances are, your basics are going to suck, b) you're going to be making mistakes, c) there will be nobody to correct you, d) if you tried anything on the tapes, theres a very good chance you'll end up getting hurt. Lets see...spend $300 dollars on a dvd set, that you're not going to get much out of or......spend $300 for some lessons under a live teacher. Hmmm.....
I have a few different BJJ tapes/dvds. I watch them. I also have people who I train BJJ with, I have a live teacher, who can fix my mistakes, give feedback, all the very important things. I can watch one of those dvds, and take something to class and work it and ask questions, but again, I'm not learning from the tape, I'm learning from a teacher.

That is the difference.
This is starting to remind me of the first Karate Kid movie, where, after Daniel got his *** kicked the first time, he pulled out a book, and was doing kicks, when Mr. M walked in. What did he say? "Ahh...you learn Karate from book?" Same thing here.
I know you're probably getting very frustrated here, because you're not getting the answers that you're hoping for. There are many people here, with some very strong martial arts backgrounds, that are giving advice. You're free to do what you want, however, IMO, you haven't given a good reason, for not getting in your car, driving down and watching a class from any of those links I gave the other day.
My suggestion would be to pick a few, call and set up a time to speak with the instructor. Explain your situation and maybe, just maybe, they can work with you. If you're really sincere about training and learning and the desire is there, then I'm sure things will work out. But you're not going to know until you pick up the phone and make a call.