How to deal with the sambunim's step son

[Manny]

Yestarday inside the mat sambonim asked me to take charge of the class because he was bussie with some people inside his office, so I started with the warm up and then we proceded to do some basics. All my comands were in korean but the sambunim's step son (a 20 years black belt too) began to argue me about this in such a unpolite way, in one point I was very piss of but calm down and didn't pay atention.

It's not the first time this guy argue me about this or about that inside the class and sometimes I just want to tell this guy that in that moment I am the instructor in charge so please be quiet and do the class, but this guy is the sambonims step son and don't want to argue with him.

I was taught very early in my beginis that the instructor(s) or person(s) in charge of the class deserve the same respect the sambonim does, this idiot guy feels he is the last coke in the desert, that he is the best fighter, the best poomsae guy and that hes above anyone.

Manny

 

[LuckyKBoxer]

talk to the guy in charge.... his step father, your instructor, the owner of the studio... whoever that is... explain your frustrations, and make sure you get an agreement as what the course of action is going to be.
I would imagine that the guy in charge will have a pretty clear idea of what he wants done, and if his stepson is going to have free run of the place he will tell you and then you can decide whether to accept it and stay or not and go... also if he expects his stepson to act as others students do and respect your authority then I think he will lay into his stepson and let him know how to behave..
If the later is the case then you might want to just verify with him how to discipline his stepson if he continues to act up after you have discussed it.
BTW I like the last coke in the desert comment.. I have to steal that and use it lol

 

[ATC]

I see nothing wrong with asking him not to interrupt. You were left in charge for a reason and you are the one in charge. If after you asked him politely not to interrupt and he still wanted to argue then you can tell him to leave the mat or you can then speak to your Sabumnim about it and let him handle the situation.

You are correct. The person leading the class is the instructor and demands all the same respect as if the Sabumnim was leading the class. We sometimes have 10 year olds come to the front to lead in stretching or a specific drill and we all treat them as the head instructor by saying yes sir and what not when it is called for.

Not good and you Sabumnim needs to address this issue now before it get any further out of hand.

 

[granfire]

I thought you were talking about a bratty kid, not an adult who should know better.

Personally, I get sarcastic, but not everybody gets it, plus I know Manni has too much class for that.

This young man is testing the waters. Check with your instructor - his step father - where your limits are.
I am thinking along the line that if he is not there to train he does not need to interrupt class for the others.

Good luck! (thankfully this gentleman has outgrown the cutsy stage by a few years)

 

[ATC]

....(thankfully this gentleman has outgrown the cutsy stage by a few years)

I miss my cutsy stage. Just all cruddy and ugly now.

 

[granfire]

I miss my cutsy stage. Just all cruddy and ugly now.

Awe, how cute!

 

[KELLYG]

I think that you should speak to the Master. Find out from him how he would like "disruptive" students to be handled, you don't have to even go into who was cutting up. Once his opinion is given then it is cut in stone. If his "boy" cuts up again follow through, even if it means asking him to leave the floor. I think that this young man is intentionally pushing your buttons and if he is allowed to with out any repercussions then he is only going to get worse. After a point his disrespect of you will trickle down through the student base. Like most of the others, I feel, that anyone that the head instructor sends to the front of the class is someone that he has respect for, therefore he/she needs to be given the same respect that the Head Master is given.

Good luck.

 

[Earl Weiss]

FWIW I think you should:
1. Talk to step son in private. Tell him perhaps there is a reason step dad put you in charge, if he has any issues with that he should take it up with step dad, that with all his other good attributes he is setting a bad example for juniors and if he has any issues with what you are doing he should arrange to take it up in private.

2. You may have too much class for this but if #1 fails tell him in front of the students that "Your step dad put me in charge, not you. If you have any issues, take it up with him, and you are setting a poor example for juniors.

3, Finaly, if #1 & 2 do not work arrange for a meeting with Step Dad and Step son together and then relate how #1 & / or #2 above did not work. Going staright to step dad is may be like the child who periceves a slight and says "I am going to tell on you".

 

[terryl965]

Manny this is cut and dry, the head instructor gave you control of the class, that would mean every single person on the floor run your class until otherwise told by your instructor.

 

[IcemanSK]

There's a reason he put you in charge of the the class & not this guy. You need to speak to your SBN about the distraction that his step son is when you lead. It effects the class. Perhaps your SBN knows, but maybe not. Either way, he needs to know that he's disruptive.

 

[msmitht]

I would ask him politely to sit out of class. If he is going to behave like a child then treat him like one. He should know better than to argue with you in front of the class. Curious : What was the arguement about?

 

[d1jinx]

Confronting the son will accomplish nothing. Hes arogant an wont listen to you and obviously has no respect for you in the first place.

You need to address this with your instructor/his father. He will have to be the one to set his step son straight. Who ever is in charge of class.... IS IN CHARGE>

A pissing contest in the middle of class wont do anything but cause loss of respect from the class to both of you.

Take it up with the instructor.

 

[dancingalone]

I realize this would never fly now, but things were handled differently in the "old" days. Back then if a junior got out of line, it would be taken care of during sparring. Not necessarily by the senior he offended either...

But that was then and this is now.

I agree you shouldn't get into an argument on the floor. He's obviously immature and you don't know whether he would accept your admonition or not, and a resulting verbal exchange would be detrimental to your status as a senior, Manny. Talk with his stepfather and get guidance on how he wants you to handle it. Perhaps he might even want you to pound a little respect into 'Junior'.

 

[Manny]

Thank you all. When the step son or another young instructor is in charge I always treet him/her as if he/she was the sambonim, that's the way i was taught very early in my TKD/MA career.

Yes, when things get a little weird with any student (and I am the instructor) I always reprend her in a strong and polite way, but this young guy feels because he's the step son of sambonim he is special.

One has to be firm in his/her comands to the class.

Manny

 

[Master K]

FWIW I think you should:
1. Talk to step son in private. Tell him perhaps there is a reason step dad put you in charge, if he has any issues with that he should take it up with step dad, that with all his other good attributes he is setting a bad example for juniors and if he has any issues with what you are doing he should arrange to take it up in private.

2. You may have too much class for this but if #1 fails tell him in front of the students that "Your step dad put me in charge, not you. If you have any issues, take it up with him, and you are setting a poor example for juniors.

3, Finaly, if #1 & 2 do not work arrange for a meeting with Step Dad and Step son together and then relate how #1 & / or #2 above did not work. Going staright to step dad is may be like the child who periceves a slight and says "I am going to tell on you".

I think the above is excellent advice. I would add one other thing to this.

When speaking with the son, find out what he likes to teach. You could give him a segment of the class to teach. Or perhaps give him one or two of students to work with while you conduct the class.

Best of luck to you. Please keep us posted as to your progress.

Respectfully,
K

 

[Kingtkd]

When sparring class comes around try to back spin hook kick him the face
its not a solution but if u land it u will feel a whole lot better..