Friends and Family

Zoran

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Recently, Damian Mavis and I were in a short discussion about family and friends and MA. I'm just curious, how may people here get support and understanding from your family about your MA. Do your non MA friends respect your MA training, or do they just harrass you like a bunch of morons?

For example, my mother tells me that I'm to old for MA or asks me what do you need that for. On the other hand, she always brags to friends that I'm a Black Belt.

Go figure!?! :shrug:
 
My wife is very supportive; my parents were supportive when I was younger but are perhaps a bit surprised that I'm still at it!
 
My wife is very supportive. She'll listen to me babble about martial arts, buy mags for me, let me go to events, etc. She even enjoyed it when I picked apart the inaccuracies in 'Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story' (which is basically 90% of the movie...but I digress).

My parents aren't so much supportive as they are understanding. My brother tries to get me to teach him when possible. My friends are curious, but I think some are a bit afraid to ask about it.

Cthulhu
 
Well, my mom never really understood, but was and is supportive anyway, and seeing how my dad is a 2nd Dan and my wife is a 1st Dan, I don't think I have too much to worry about there :)
 
Originally posted by Cthulhu

My parents aren't so much supportive as they are understanding.

Interesting that you put it that way, because initially I don't think I would have made a distinction. My parents have never tried to make me do certain activities and they've always let me try out what I wanted to. They came to most of my events back in high school, a few in college, and even one from early on here in grad school. So they've always supported me in my choices, but they don't necessarily push and encourage a whole lot. They're always willing to back me and give help as needed though, so I guess overall they're supportive. My mom still listens to me talk about what activities I'm doing every week when I call home. :) My brother and sister seem to be more understanding, sort of like they don't care a whole lot what I'm doing as long as I'm enjoying it. I don't think other near relatives know about me taking martial arts classes but that doesn't bother me. As for friends, the ones I've told about taking martial arts classes, would go in the understanding category, I think. They're pretty much like my brother and sister, they don't seem to care a whole lot, but they accept that it's what I want to do right now.
 
My baby brother was the first to pave into MA, then me, then my baby sister. My daughter has been in Little Dragons for forever.

My parents kinda laugh at it- my dad always jokes that we are learning the path to spiritual enlightenment by learning to kick our opponents in the face. On the other hand, I know they support it, because they pay for my sis's class fees, and attend tests once in a while.

My husband- well, he likes that I've lost weight and calmed down- but I know he dislikes the fact that I work out with, and have developed friendships with guys at my dojo. We have great women students there too, that I adore, but I kinda have to be careful to not look like I'm having *too* good a time if I am working with a guy buddy on takedowns, lest hubby have a conniption.

One great thing about having MA in the family is beikng able to borrow weapons, GI's etc. Also sparring at family hoilidays, gotta love that.
 
When I started TSD, my parents were supportive (maybe cause the cash for classes was coming from my pocket :D ). My dad was always on my case about doing my best.

I got my other half into MA. He used to come down and visit me during class and watch. Now we take classes (TKD) together (I created a monster :eek: ). He loves it. He is always asking me about MA stuff and asking me to help him, which is good exept when it's midnight and he wanted to kick the targets gggrrrrrr.

Most of my friends are from the school. But outside of the school, I usually don't "preach" about MA, so most people don't know I take it.
 
My dad doesn't like martial arts, "no money in it," thinks its a waste of my time.
My older brother thinks I'm forever a weakling and that I'm arrogant when I critise movies.
The rest of my family and friends treat martial arts like a hobby (except my mom, shes generally supportive), they all ask "Are you still doing that?" They don't seem to get it that martial arts are a life long commitment and not a sustained hobby with me.
 
I met my wife in class so she is very supportive if we have the money to do the event I wish to do. My mother thinks I am wasting my time, my father could care less as long as I don't waste his time. But I am content, going to classes when I was younger gave me a place to be away from the family which is what I needed to mature. My parents were overly strict to the point the almost smothered my growth. My little brother loved the fact that I started in classes because he had to doors opened to him to pursue what ever he wanted to do.
 
My wife and I started together, so no problem there. My parents and brothers usually ask about it once in a while, "Do you still do that kickboxing stuff?", but that's about it. Most of my friends aren't interested, so I don't bring it up much. Mostly a sort of "Chris, why're you walking so funny?" "Oh, I've got a huge bruise on my thigh from not blocking leg kicks" "Oh, maybe you should try stopping those next time." That sort of thing.
 
Typical Dialogue:

Mom: Are you still doing that Karate?
Me: It's not karate, it's kenpo.
Mom: Oh, so you gave up the karate, for kenpo?
Me: No, I never took karate, it's always been kenpo.
Mom: I thought it was karate?
Me: Nope .. it's kenpo?
Mom: What's that?
Me: It's a martial art.
Mom: Oh, karate.
Me: Kinda like karate, but it's called kenpo.
5 minutes later
Mom: So you like doing that karate?
Me: yeah, karate's fun.

---------

Wife: That's all you ever talk about anymore, kenpo kenpo kenpo
And that's all you ever want to do anymore, kenpo kenpo kenpo.
Me: Okay, umm, I guess I can attend fewer classes or something
Wife: No, that's okay
Me: :shrug:

Start to take the next day off, grab the remote, turn it to what
she doesn't normally watch while I'm at the school.

Wife: Aren't you gonna go to kenpo?
Me: No, I know you're upset about me spending so much time
there
Wife: No, I'm not, I know how much you love it
Me: Are you sure?!
Wife: YES! Hurry, you're gonna be late
Me: :shrug:
 
Originally posted by Kirk

Typical Dialogue:

Wife: That's all you ever talk about anymore, kenpo kenpo kenpo
And that's all you ever want to do anymore, kenpo kenpo kenpo.
Me: Okay, umm, I guess I can attend fewer classes or something
Wife: No, that's okay
Me: :shrug:

Start to take the next day off, grab the remote, turn it to what
she doesn't normally watch while I'm at the school.

Wife: Aren't you gonna go to kenpo?
Me: No, I know you're upset about me spending so much time
there
Wife: No, I'm not, I know how much you love it
Me: Are you sure?!
Wife: YES! Hurry, you're gonna be late
Me: :shrug:

Okay now you did it. I just woke up my wife because I couldn't stop laughing. Now I have to go make up a story on why I was laughing.:eek:
 
I am laughing to the monitor!

My parents always support me in whatever that's not dangerous (They were worried when I first started "external" martial arts). But they know better now about MA practices in the States (it is dangerous to practice MA in wherever I come from). My brother and other relatives always says "That looks much like dancing!"

salute

:asian:
 
MY younger brother is pretty supportive. My older brother uses me as a punching bag. The others don't really care and my lady want's a pink belt in naked kung fu! You be the judge. Sincerely, In Humility; Chiduce!:erg:
 
My mom is supportive of my M.A she always has been. and best of all my girlfriend is involved in it also. She's always wanted to get into an M.A but wasn't sure of which one so I helped with that. Most of my friends know I'm involved and they think it's cool and best of all they never ask me those dumb questions"do you think you could beat me up" ,etc.....
 
Originally posted by Kirk

Mom: Are you still doing that Karate?
Me: It's not karate, it's kenpo. . . .
-----
Wife: That's all you ever talk about anymore, kenpo kenpo kenpo . . .

Start to take the next day off, grab the remote, turn it to what she doesn't normally watch while I'm at the school.

Me: No, I know you're upset about me spending so much time there
Wife: No, I'm not, I know how much you love it . . .

Regarding the first one, I think I've heard others mention they have the same problem. I really don't get this one. Once you've corrected someone on the name of your art, they should start using the right name. Even if they have no clue as to what the difference is, why can't they use the right name when you give it to them? Sorry, and I don't mean any offense, but it seems stupid to insist on using the wrong term after you've been corrected. I just don't get it.

As for the second one . . . women. ;) And they wonder why we have such a hard time figuring them out. :D
 
I would say that I have pretty good support. My wife is in the martial arts, both of my kids have experience in martial arts (so they don't look at me funny when I'm practicing), my only brother studied for a while, and my mom and dad both fully support me in my efforts.

I think my dad was jealous when I got my Black, though.....but he won't admit it.....;)

Peace--
 
My dad paid for my first start in TKD which lasted 18 months, then a few years later my started doing martial arts (not TKD). She would always talk about but I would just shrug waiting for the day she would quit. She never did, she wound up getting her black belt in a style called AmKaJutsu. Well that got me angered and I had to go back and get my black belt and that was in 1985.

She finally had to quit going and can't workout any more but I'm still going and she asks about it all the time. My dad is only mildly interested and my wife, she's real supportive of me.

Kirk, your wife story was just too funny, but I was there a few times too. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

:asian:
 
My wife has been the greatest asset to me in my training. She introduced me to many people and supported me in all of my years of practice.
As for friends I only have a handful of people who I call friends and they all support whatever I do{within reason}.
For all those other people out there I try not to tell people when I first meet them what I do. My knuckles sometimes give it away if they are observent. Usualy I try not to talk about the arts with people that don"t study.
Shadow:asian:
 
Originally posted by tshadowchaser

Usualy I try not to talk about the arts with people that don"t study.

Me too--very much. My first karate instructor put it well: They'll ask you to show them something and if you soften it and it doesn't work you'll look the fool, while if you don't and hurt them (even as much as you'd expect it to hurt in practice) you'll look thebully. To "Show me something" he'd reply: "What do you want me to do, fracture your skull?" There's no winning, so I don't discuss it.
 

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