Chicken Soup for the Beer Drinker's Soul

[Jade Tigress]

Chicken Soup for the Beer Drinker's Soul


Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
- Jack Handy

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
- Frank Sinatra

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
- Ernest Hemingway

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
- W.C. Fields

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
- Henny Youngman

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not!
- Stephen Wright

When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
- Brian O'Rourke

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
- Benjamin Franklin

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
- Dave Barry

 

[KempoGuy06]

this is now my favorite thread. Beer is a gift from heaven and a virus from hell all at once, but I dont know how the world would turn without it.

B

 

[Drac]

I like beer, It makes me a jolly good fellow,I like beer, it helps me unwind and sometimes it makes me feel mellow..Whiskey's too rough, Champagne costs too much, Vodka puts my mouth in gear, this little refrain should make it quite plain as a matter of fact I like beer...

 

[Brian R. VanCise]

I like beer, It makes me a jolly good fellow,I like beer, it helps me unwind and sometimes it make me feel mellow..Whiskey's too rough, Champagne costs too much, Vodka puts my mouth in gear, this little refrain should make it quite plain as a matter of fact I like beer...

:drinkbeer

 

[Drac]

I like beer, It makes me a jolly good fellow,I like beer, it helps me unwind and sometimes it makes me feel mellow..Whiskey's too rough, Champagne costs too much, Vodka puts my mouth in gear, this little refrain should make it quite plain as a matter of fact I like beer...

Last night I did dream that I passed from this scene and went to a place so sublime, the water was clear and it tasted like beer, then they turned it all into wine..Repeat chorus....

 

[Xue Sheng]

All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer. - Homer Simpson

Alcohol, the cause and solution to all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer. - Homer Simpson

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. - Frank Zappa

He was a wise man who invented beer. - Plato

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. - Dean Martin

What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? - W.C. Fields

 

[Kreth]

I killed a six-pack just to watch it die.

 

[theletch1]

Last night I did dream that I passed from this scene and went to a place so sublime, the water was clear and it tasted like beer, then they turned it all into wine..Repeat chorus....

Tom T. Hall! Now there is a blast from the past.

 

[Drac]

Tom T. Hall! Now there is a blast from the past.

Yep...I LOVE that song..

 

[Tames D]

BEER: hmm, can't live with it and can't live without it.

 

[MA-Caver]

Personally, I now hate beer... it helps me remember all the things that I want to forget.

 

[terryl965]

Personally, I now hate beer... it helps me remember all the things that I want to forget.

Me too beer is the root of all thing great.

 

[Kembudo-Kai Kempoka]

Personally, I now hate beer... it helps me remember all the things that I want to forget.

Helps me to remeber to forget all of the things I no longer need to remember...to forget.

It reminds of something someone else you know doesn't do as often as you wished they did.