Belt Bunnies

[dvcochran]

I just handled a case for a guy who literally had this type of thing happen. It was sad, the guy literally had no idea what "he'd done." Found out during the case off a standard background check of previous addresses... she'd lived in about 10 different states and had done this same thing to at least FOUR other guys. Nothing to be done about it, practically speaking. Just get up, and move forward.

Agree.
Back in the ignorance of my youth it was a temptation that was readily available. Different people are attracted to different things. When the 'new' wears off I hope the temptation wanes for everyone.
For me it was 'exciting' for about 2 minutes. Then I got my head above it and saw how destructive it could be for our school and myself on a personal level. I very verbally announced the outliers, reviewed and re-established our written standards and over a very short amount of time the cycle ended. I have seen it try to reassert itself several times over the years but have always been watchful for it. especially where minors are concerned.
We have had 8 couples meet and marry through working out together. They were all consenting adults. As long as people keep it clean and above board inside the dojang I have no problem with.
I do feel there is a social element inside any school that has to be developed and nurtured to keep it on track and focused on the right thing(s).

 

[Buka]

I just handled a case for a guy who literally had this type of thing happen. It was sad, the guy literally had no idea what "he'd done." Found out during the case off a standard background check of previous addresses... she'd lived in about 10 different states and had done this same thing to at least FOUR other guys. Nothing to be done about it, practically speaking. Just get up, and move forward.

The personification of evil right there.

 

[JP3]

The personification of evil right there.

Pretty much.

 

[Tez3]

They both get what they want.

When you get two people together who use others, it's best to stand well back and watch the fireworks when things turn sour as they inevitably do.

 

[Deleted member 39746]

On that sort of note, its really ****. As you have entire relationship stories based on what some people deem unproffesional and the like. And you have people either get into oen based on similar hobbies (obviously, as they would like the same things so meet doing them) or people get into hobbies from outside it.

I dont even know how you would meet somone if martial arts was your greatest hobby and you did that in all your spare time who also did it, if it was deemed a cardinal sin to build a relationship in that way in martial arts. Like i said, its really ****. Its quite funny to transcribe that onto diffrent settings though. Just thought about transcribing if all you do is spend time in a pub and you marry the owner would it be a simlar case.

 

[MFC__2020]

I think classmates having relationships/sex, has the potential to create politics.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

I think classmates having relationships/sex, has the potential to create politics.

It does, but that goes with the territory. A lot of MA schools have families and couples who join. Things get just as awkward when a breakup happens with those folks. I know - I went through that, myself.

 

[MFC__2020]

If you are ok to speak about it...did it(the situation) hinder you for a long period?

 

[Gerry Seymour]

If you are ok to speak about it...did it(the situation) hinder you for a long period?

For a while. We were a couple before we started training, and broke up 8 years later. We continued to be friendly and train together, but it was always awkward for me. I'm not sure the dojo was ever as peaceful a place for me again.

 

[dvcochran]

For a while. We were a couple before we started training, and broke up 8 years later. We continued to be friendly and train together, but it was always awkward for me. I'm not sure the dojo was ever as peaceful a place for me again.

Some of what you describe is what happened in my first school. The owner/instructor started a relationship with the wife of a couple with three children who all worked out. He even went so far as to open a school in their hometown (the dots later connected on that move). My then instructor was also married with three children. When it all finally came out it got pretty ugly and led to his demise as an instructor. Along with many other things.
Interestingly, if you break him down into categories I would still say he was a great instructor/motivator to this day. But a bad, bad person and businessman. He ended up in law enforcement but we have completely lost contact.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

Some of what you describe is what happened in my first school. The owner/instructor started a relationship with the wife of a couple with three children who all worked out. He even went so far as to open a school in their hometown (the dots later connected on that move). My then instructor was also married with three children. When it all finally came out it got pretty ugly and led to his demise as an instructor. Along with many other things.
Interestingly, if you break him down into categories I would still say he was a great instructor/motivator to this day. But a bad, bad person and businessman. He ended up in law enforcement but we have completely lost contact.

That's not really much like what happened with me.

 

[lklawson]

This particular belt bunny, in my case, is definitely causing problems. She is using her belt bunny position to try to gain power and control with instructors. She also seems to be playing political games, trying to set one instructor against another and telling half truths and sometimes lies. I suspect this is going to get ugly.

Peace favor your sword (mobile)

 

[_Simon_]

This particular belt bunny, in my case, is definitely causing problems. She is using her belt bunny position to try to gain power and control with instructors. She also seems to be playing political games, trying to set one instructor against another and telling half truths and sometimes lies. I suspect this is going to get ugly.

Peace favor your sword (mobile)

Unbelievable.... surely that's gotta be grounds for being kicked out... no place for that!