12 Rules of Life

Bob Hubbard

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A slightly humorous look at lifes rules.


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Sometimes we just need to remember what the 12 Rules of Life really are:

1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.

2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and
it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.

3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are
"I apologize" and "you are right."

4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

5. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.

6. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her - believe them.

7. Learn to pick your battles; ask yourself, "Will this matter one year
from now? How about one month? One week? One day?"

8. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat
crow while it's still warm.

9. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

10. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a
bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you.

11. Work is good, but it's not that important. Money is nice, but you
can't take it with you. Statistics show most people don't live to
spend all they saved; some die even before they retire. Anything we have
isn't really ours; It's on loan to us while we're here ...even
our kids.

12. And finally...Be really good to your family and/or friends. You
never know when you are going to need them to empty your
bedpan.
 
G

Gary Crawford

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It is much easier to eat crow when warm,I prefer mine with cheese!
 

TigerWoman

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Those are great rules, Kaith, didn't see them before...thanks Satt!

Also great rules to remember around the Holidays....

Especially about apologizing and being good to your friends and family

Also stress kills...try to avoid it--see #7 or live more simply, or solve why you are having it. It ages you ten years... heard recently on the news. TW
 

hwarang

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HAHA i deffinitly agree with the relationships part about im sorry, and i agree lmao..

`-thee kevin
 

BrandiJo

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haha i really like those, they actualy would work too
 

Sam

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arnisador said:
Indeed...living well really is the best revenge.
I've always heard success is the best revenge, but they go hand in hand.

I especially agree with these:

2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and
it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.

and

5. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.

Edit: what is the crow one talking about? I don't understand.
 

dubljay

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Kaith Rustaz said:
2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and
it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.
You wouldn't believe the number of people I see that try to fix everything with duct tape and WD-40. I once saw duct tape being used (ineffectively) to hold down a carburator on a v-6 engine. I saw another guy trying to use WD-40 as starting fluid for a lawn mower... he couldn't figure out why the carb on his mower got pluged...

I swear... some people :whip:
 

Bester

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I prefer Conans rules...."To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women!"

:wavey:
 

Gemini

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Kaith Rustaz said:
12. And finally...Be really good to your family and/or friends. You
never know when you are going to need them to empty your
bedpan.
LOL! Those are all good but this one is the truest of them all.
 
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